Abuse It and Lose It
by RizaMustang24
Summary: Kaoru'd been abused his whole life after his parents died and he was seperated from his brother. Now, after Foster Care ignores him, Kaoru goes to see if his brother's worth living with. Unknowningly, he falls in love, with someone forbidden. AU
1. The New Kid

Hitachiin Kaoru sat in the car, staring out the window at the rain pelting down onto the lonely moon lit road.

"How much longer?" Kaoru asked, bored.

"Oh, don't worry about it, it won't be much longer to your new foster home," The driver reassured as he tried to keep his eyes on the road through the rain covered windsheild.

"I'm... scared."

The driver looked up into the rearview mirror and frowned at Kaoru.

"Their your childhood friends, they won't hurt you," He reassured again.

Kaoru blinked his golden eyes and sighed. He replied to the reassurance, "That's it though, my _childhood _friends. My childhood was back when I three, when I was five. I'm not that young anymore, I don't own that house anymore. I don't know them anymore."

"I'm sure they'll be happy to see you, still, Master."

Kaoru huffed and shut his eyes, praying for sleep to take him away and maybe even kill him. He had that wish a lot, but it never came true, Kaoru would probably end up in another foster home, with another abusive parent, leading off to a new foster home where he'd surely make the same wish. Kaoru's parents were murdered, and they were the nicest people he ever knew. Now all that was left was memories of a time when a new home meant more happiness, new friends, and more love from your family. Back in that time, things were simple. That was then, and this was now to Kaoru. Now meant abuse in a new home, leading to bruises, which led to him going to a new home. There was something about Kaoru that these parents liked to hurt.

They didn't even care that he was abused anymore, so eventually his older brother asked him to come live with him. Kaoru objected, afraid of anyone called family, but he wanted to see his brother again, to see if he was still nice. So, Kaoru went off to live with his childhood friend. A fried who used to insist was his brother.

A friend Kaoru never wanted to see again.

* * *

Hitachiin Hikaru waited on the windowsill, impatient. His long lost friend was supposed to come to live with him for awhile, Hitachiin Kaoru. It was always ironic and confusing, how the two were identical and had the same last name. They always insisted that it was some sign, that they were of the same lineage. Their parents always denied it though, so eventually they gave up on asking their parents, and called eachother brothers. Hikaru missed Kaoru severly when he moved away, they used to be inseperable.

They had lots of friends, Hitachiin Tamaki, Fujioka Mitsukuni, Morinozuka Takashi, and Fujioka Haruhi. Hikaru had met Tamaki's best friend only a couple weeks previous. Ootori Kyoya was different than everyone else, he was quiet, alone, and was inseperable from Tamaki.

Tamaki and Kaoru had been adopted, but their parents divorced and moved to different countries, Tamaki stayed in Japan while Kaoru moved off to Germany. That was the last Hikaru had ever heard from Kaoru. The letter they recieved was documented from America, so Hikaru was excited to meet his twin brother again. He still insisted that Kaoru was his twin, and that they were really born from the same family and the hospital just got mixed up.

"What's he like?" Hunny asked as he sat on his younger sister's lap, Haruhi. Hunny's full name was Mitsukuni, but he was so small and looked so young, that everyone insisted he was a child, and thought Haruhi was his babysitter, since they looked nothing alike. It didn't change the fact that the two were siblings, and as different as can be. "Kaoru-kun that is. You said he looked exactly like you?"

"Yeah, I don't when he's gonna get here, but I can't wait to see him again!" Hikaru exclaimed as he put his hand on the rain painted window.

Kaoru was just pulling into the street, and had his hand on his rain painted window as well. Surely, they must somehow be twins?

The driver got out, and stood infront of Kaoru's car door, and pulled it open once they arrived in the Hitachiin driveway. Kaoru's chest was tight and he felt like crying, he'd learned though, never cry when you get to a new house, the caretakers might not like it, and hit you for it. So, Kaoru stood out and held his hands to his chest as his door was shut behind him, and Kaoru felt alone in the once familiar yard, infront of his familiar car.

"What if they hurt me?" Kaoru whispered. "What if they don't like me?"

"There's only one way to find out, Master," The driver responded truthfully and grasped Kaoru's hand and guided him up to the house, holding the umbrella above their heads, so neither of them would get wet. "You ready?"

"You have to ask?" Kaoru snapped.

The man sighed and knocked on the door.

Hikaru shot to the door, but Tamaki beat him to it.

"Kao!" Tamaki chimed as he swung open the door and held his arms out for his brother.

Kaoru blinked. What kind of greeting was this? He'd never seen such affection before, maybe in his memories once in awhile, but those were over ten years ago, and they were fading from him, and all he could remember was the cruelty of his foster parents.

"Tamaki-kun? What are you doing?" Kaoru asked, uncertain. His stomach churned, and he thought any minute he'd be slapped on the head. He was getting tired of being hurten, he was hoping he could get away from it. Now he was wondering if that was a good thing. This affection seemed pointless.

"Why little brother, I'm waiting for a hug!" Tamaki exclaimed dramatically. "I'm hurt!"

Kaoru blushed and looked at his driver.

"Um, Master Tamaki, there's some... rules and understandings you need to hear," The driver explained. "Master Kaoru hasn't quite... grown up, in an atmosphere that gave hugs. He... doesn't know what a hug is."

All the children blinked.

"Doesn't know what a hug is?" They all asked.

Kaoru blushed and looked away and nodded.

Tamaki wrapped his arms around Kaoru. He smiled and explained as he pulled away, "That's a hug."

Kaoru nodded and blushed a little deeper again. This was odd, he wasn't hit, and the _hug _didn't bring any pain upon Kaoru. Something new was going on, and Kaoru wasn't sure he liked it. Pain was bound to be inflicted upon him soon enough, why didn't they just get it over with? Kaoru liked it when he was hurt quickly, it hurt worse, but it was worth the long minutes and even hours of suffering a smaller pain. It hurt much worse in a way when the torture was spread out.

Hikaru blinked and frowned at Kaoru. Kaoru wasn't anything like he remembered him, except for the fact that they were identical. The same ruffles in the hair and the little natural highlights all the way to the same golden eyes and soft white skin, all the way down to the marks on the feet.

"Kaoru-kun?" Hikaru questioned as he walked over and held his hand out to him, since Kaoru seemed like a formal child, if he didn't know what a hug was. "It's me, Hitachiin Hikaru, remember? From when we were toddlers?"

Kaoru reached out and shook Hikaru's hand, forcing a smile.

Hikaru smiled and pulled Kaoru into the house and looked at everyone and dragged him over to the kids.

"Remember the Grade schooler, Hunny? His little sister, Haruhi. This is Mori, I'm sure you remember him, Takashi, remember? Then there's-" Hikaru introduced and stopped infront of Kyoya and stopped, trying to think of what to say.

"This is Ootori Kyoya, my best friend. We've been friends for awhile, but everyone just met him a couple weeks ago," Tamaki explained.

Kaoru stared at Kyoya.

"Hi," Kyoya greeted, coldly. "I take as you're Kaoru-kun, huh, shrimp?"

He cringed a bit, but nodded and turned to look at everyone in a hole. He was more used to Kyoya than everyone else already, he was different then everyone else who was there, he was cold like his old families were, so Kaoru was more relaxed around Kyoya than anyone else.

Kaoru looked away and held his head low and blushed.

"I'm really tired," Kaoru responded, feeling a little idiotic and stupid for not understanding the way these people acted. He was confused, on why he hadn't been hit yet, why he hadn't been thrown outside into the rain yet, why his big brother didn't yell at him. It'd been over nine years since Kaoru'd last seen his big brother, and they'd both changed a lot from what each remembered the other. Tamaki was more adultish and handsome, a lady killer probably, while Kaoru had gotten more quiet. It confused Hikaru too. Now Kaoru had a slump to his shoulders, he didn't wear short sleeves like he did when he was child, and it was mostly the way he carried himself that bugged everyone the most, he had the sad slump of the shoulders, his eyes diverted direct contact, and he didn't smile. It worried everyone, what had happened to their beloved childhood, Kaoru?

"We don't have an extra bedroom for you yet," Hikaru finally spoke up. "Mom said that since we're so close, you should sleep in my room."

Kaoru swallowed a lump in his throat and nodded. He was still confused on why he hadn't been hit yet. That's what he was worrying about the most.

Finally, Kaoru looked up into Hikaru's eyes.

"Okay, I'm really tired."

Hikaru shuddered at the pain in his eyes, the eyes of his childhood friend. Of his twin.

Kaoru had walked up the stairs and sat down, out of view from everyone. He was a good eavesdropper, he had to be, if he wanted to know anything without getting beaten until he couldn't see anything for the rest of the night.

"So much for a twin," Haruhi exclaimed. "He doesn't look anything like you! I mean, sure, his body looks just like you, but besides that, you two couldn't be more different! He looks like he's gonna cry any minute now."

"So, what was it you wanted to tell me?" Tamaki asked someone, Kaoru figured the driver since he had something to Tamaki earlier.

Kaoru crept out a little more, so he could see everyone.

The driver sat down and after a grunt replied, "Be very careful with Kaoru, and treat him like a baby."

"Why?" Hunny asked. "I thought he was Hika-chan's age."

"He is, but he's... after he left you all, years ago, when he first left to Germany, things... changed," The driver tried to explain, as easily and smoothly as possible. It gave Kaoru a lump in his throat. These were good people. They weren't hit by their parents, and good people hurt bad people, and Kaoru was a bad person, so these people were bound to hurt him sooner or later, and he didn't like the thought of being hurt again.

"Changed?" Tamaki asked. "I noticed that much. What happened to my smiling little brother?"

"Master Kaoru is... different. He wasn't brought up the same," The driver continued to try to explain.

"How come the last letter was from America, I thought you said he was moving to Germany? I recognize you, you're the guy that Kaoru-kun's parents sent to take care of him. So what's going on here?" Hikaru wondered.

"You make it hard for me to explain, but let me tell you something, Master Kaoru isn't like you guys. He doesn't know what a hug is, and to him, any sign of affection is dangerous. He won't get comfortable around any of you easily," The driver continued to explain.

"Oh, so he's been abused for a long time then? Not just his other household?" Tamaki asked.

All the kids stared at Tamaki.

"Kaoru-kun's abused?" They all wondered.

The driver nodded his head and continued, "Yes, Master Tamaki. You must've thought it was just another family because your divorced parents were bad, but Master Kaoru's gone through hundreds of foster homes, and almost every last one had a problem with him and sent him back, or abused him severely until the agency sent him to another. Just recently, they decided he was an unhelpable case, and they just left him with an abusive family. It had been two months until I decided to take Master Kaoru here, his past families haven't allowed him to send or recieve letters."

"That's horrible!" Hikaru shouted. "I've heard of abusive families, but never real life ones!"

"Master Kaoru's gotten used to it, I suppose."

Kaoru slinked behind the corner as the driver looked up the stairs.

"Master Kaoru? Are you sure your tired?" The driver asked, even though he hadn't seen Kaoru at all. After knowing Kaoru and watching over him from house to house, he'd gotten used to Kaoru's habits, and he always eavesdropped on conversations in his newest households.

"I-I don't know where the room is," Kaoru whimpered as he came out from behind the corner, hands behind his back.

"Guys, I need you all to go home tonight, I need to spend time with Kaoru-kun," Hikaru explained and began walking up the stairs.

Kaoru's hair tingled and he got goosebumps and hid behind the corner.

"What are you doing?" Hikaru asked amused as he went around the corner to see Kaoru in a cowering heap, his hands covering his head, almost like there was a tornado and he had to cover his head so that he wouldn't get brain damage from flying glass.

"You're not... gonna hit me?" Kaoru asked as he raised his head a bit, wincing as he looked into Hikaru's eyes. To Hikaru, this was an accomplishment, for Kaoru didn't look anyone straight in the eye for the whole entire time that he'd been there, except for Hikaru.

"Nah," Hikaru laughed as he knelt down in front of Kaoru, causing him to cringe.

"You sure?" Kaoru whimpered, a tear forming at his eye.

Hikaru smiled and wrapped his arms Kaoru and pulled him into a slight hug.

"Yeah, I won't hurt you," Hikaru promised.

Kaoru blinked at this sign of affection and put his hands out and wrapped his arms around Hikaru. This was odd, Hikaru was a good person, and he wasn't hurting Kaoru, a bad person. That's what his foster parents had always taught him, that he was a bad person.

"Good people are weird," Kaoru whispered as he hugged Hikaru a bit tighter. He liked the feel of Hikaru's arms, they were more soft, yet forceful, than big brother Tamaki's. "You're an odd good person, you don't hit me."

Hikaru chuckled.

No one had left downstairs, and they all sat, listening to their conversation, and had now walken over to see the two. Tamaki smiled along with the driver.

"No really, you're weird," Kaoru continued, annoyed that Hikaru was laughing at him. "You're all weird."

Hikaru stood up and dragged Kaoru up along with him. Kaoru stood, hand in hand, staring into the face a stranger, which the memories of weren't far away from Kaoru's grasp. They were beginning to come back, Kaoru's fond memories of Hikaru. There was one thing Kaoru remembered, they were twins. If twins were alike though, why was Hikaru so happy? Why didn't he cringe when someone raised their hand to him? Was being a good person really all that easy?

For some reason, Kaoru wanted to trust Hikaru.

"If you hurt me, I'm leaving," Kaoru warned.

Hikaru laughed and squeezed Kaoru's hands.

"Like you have anywhere to go!" Hikaru chuckled and then he pulled Kaoru off down the hall toward his bedroom.

Hikaru pulled Kaoru into his room and shut the door, then went and lay down on his bed. Almost instantly falling asleep. Kaoru, by nature, crawled onto the bed and cuddled up to Hikaru under the covers. Hikaru blinked and pulled Kaoru closer to him.

"I thought you didn't know anything about affection?" Hikaru wondered, curiously.

Kaoru moaned and didn't say anything, just wrapped his arms around Hikaru's stomach tighter and pulled his body close to him. Kaoru closed his eyes and started to drift off into a sleep.

"Hey, answer me!" Hikaru snapped.

Kaoru didn't think anything of it. For some reason, he was at ease with Hikaru. Especially when they were all alone.

"I want to trust you," Kaoru replied quietly and oddly, like he was in a dream-like stage. "I really do."

Hikaru blinked and smiled and sighed. He wrapped his arms around Kaoru and began to fall asleep as well, the two's breathing rate matching eachother, and once Hikaru's slowed down, his matched Kaoru's heartbeat as well, when this happened, Hikaru wanted to imagine that he was Kaoru's twin. He wanted to imagine that Kaoru'd never been abused, that they'd never been seperated, that they were still as close as could be. It was working quite well, considering the fact that Kaoru was most at ease around Hikaru.

For a moment, Kaoru didn't feel a burden on his heart.


	2. Not What He Thought

"Hikaru! It's time to get up," Haruhi scolded as she shook the cuddling friends.

Kaoru moaned and snuggled closer to Hikaru. Haruhi thought it was kind of embarassing, how the two looked more like lovers than best friends or twins, in that bed together, so close to eachother. Hikaru moaned as well and moved away, only to cuddle back into Kaoru. He began to curve into a ball and forced Kaoru's body to curve along with it, so there was almost no space between the two bodies.

"Hey, guys, it's breakfast!" Haruhi snapped and she whapped Hikaru on the head. He groaned and raised his eyelids to gaze on Haruhi, the object of his affections. Hikaru'd had a crush on Haruhi for years, and he still did, he just wished he could tell her somehow.

"What is it?" Hikaru snarled before he'd regained feeling in his arms or noticed anything else in the room. To Hikaru at that moment, Kaoru didn't exist, there wasn't something warm so close to his body. Hikaru wasn't holding, lovingly, an abused child who thought love was just some crap on sitcoms his foster parents made him watch somtimes. Yes, Hitachiin Kaoru was that of memories, and memories weren't to brought up when you were staring at the person you thought you wanted to marry someday.

"Breakfast, wake Kaoru up too, he seems attracted to you," Haruhi continued to scowl, but laughed a bit when she said "attracted."

"Wha-?" Hikaru wondered as he suddenly realized that he was holding someone, a male to be exact. Not remembering him, Hikaru felt embarassed, and wondered who he was and what he did with them. Hikaru didn't think he was gay.

"Just come downstairs!"

Haruhi turned heel and stormed out of the room, her long hair trailing behind her.

Hikaru looked down at the boy in his arms, and his heart eased and his worries slunk away as he stared at the calm and peaceful face of someone Hikaru was sure to be an angel. Hikaru shook his shoulders a bit, annoyed at himself for trying to awaken this boy.

Kaoru blinked his eyes once or twice.

"Hi-Hikaru?" Kaoru asked the moment his eyes opened.

"Kaoru? It's breakfa-"

Before Hikaru could finish, Kaoru had closed his eyes and snuggled his face into the crook of Hikaru's neck.

"This is a dream, and if I'm sleeping in my dream, please let me continue to sleep, it'll make the dream last longer," Kaoru scolded.

"This isn't a dream!" Hikaru scowled and pulled Kaoru's face to have his eyes look straight into his own.

Kaoru blinked and tears began to form at his eyes and he glomped Hikaru.

"Oh thank God! Something good happened!" Kaoru whined.

Hikaru wasn't sure that he wanted to get out of here, even breakfast wasn't worth it when this joy and bliss came into comparison with it. Kaoru's happiness seemed much more important than some dumb hot meal his parents had prepared. Hikaru had remembered that he told his friends to go home, yet Haruhi was still there. That wasn't right. That meant that all his friends were downstairs, and he thought suddenly that maybe Kaoru hadn't had a hot meal in awhile. Maybe in years.

"It's breakfast," Hikaru whined.

Kaoru sighed and he wrapped his arms around Hikaru's abdomen a little tighter. Kaoru shook his head and for a second, Hikaru thought he'd have to yell at Kaoru just to get Kaoru to move, but finally Kaoru raised his head and stared at Hikaru, tears in his eyes and pouring down his face.

"You won't let them hurt me, right?" Kaoru whined.

This seemed like a major accomplishment, Karou wanted Hikaru to protect him? Wasn't Hikaru an outsider to Karou, though? Weren't they completely different and seperated for over ten years, how did Kaoru seem to suddenly trust Hikaru so easily? Kaoru didn't seem like someone who'd so easliy trust someone, maybe it had something to do with their childhood together. Hikaru had no idea. After sleeping in a bed for half a night, Kaoru was trusting Hikaru with his life. I guess kindness goes a long way with this kid.

"Of course not," Hikaru soothed and kissed Kaoru's forehead.

It's true, Hikaru felt more at ease around Kaoru then anyone else, and the same was for Kaoru. It was odd, surely somehow, the two must have been related, with them feeling so comfortable and indifferent around the other, after only sleeping together for one night.

The two didn't want to leave the bed, but after the constant yells from the hall from Tamaki and Haruhi, the two finally decided that they'd best go downstairs to join them all for breakfast. Hikaru couldn't get Kaoru away from him, Kaoru just wouldn't let go of Hikaru's hand.

"Kaoru!" Hikaru complained as he put down his fork and grabbed his napkin and wiped some syrup off of Kaoru's face. "You're such a slob!"

Kaoru didn't smile or anything, just stared at Hikaru. Somehow, Hikaru knew Kaoru was thanking him, and apologizing. It scared Hikaru a bit, how the two were so closely connected, but he soon ignored it and began eating again, with one hand. It was hard work, and just for a joke, he decided to pretend that him and Kaoru were like lovers.

"Open up," Hikaru cooed as he held the pancake on his fork, the syrup dripping onto their entwined hands. Kaoru opened his mouth and ate it smoothly, like lovers would. The two had agreed on the plan.

Silently.

How the two were able to communicate through such ways was unknown to themselves or anyone else in the whole room.

"Master Kaoru, you sure seem comfortable around Hikaru-kun," The driver noted, hoping to get some reaction from Kaoru.

Kaoru nodded and tried to scoop up his eggs onto a fork to eat it. He managed to get it into his mouth and then he reached for bacon, not saying thanks to either of the Hitachiin parents. When someone looked at Kaoru at all, he'd squeeze Hikaru's hand nervously, and Hikaru'd glare at them.

"Oh, Kaoru-kun! You've grown so big!" Yuna exclaimed as she finally sat down at the table to begin eating her food. "I can't believe it's been over ten years since I've last seen you!"

Kaoru nodded and blushed and squeezed Hikaru's hand tightly.

"He doesn't know what to say," Hikaru explained. "He's not used to this."

Everyone was curious, as to why Kaoru wasn't talking or moving his head or eyes, yet Hikaru knew exactly what Kaoru was trying to get across. Even a simple squeeze of the hands wouldn't explain what was going on.

"We're going for a walk with Toby," Hikaru explained as he got up and walked with Kaoru over to the door, parting their hands for a brief moment to tie their shoes. Hikaru grabbed Kaoru's hand again as soon as his shoes were on and tied, and they walked into the back of the house and opened up a kennel door where their big fluffy collie dog, Toby, came prancing out. Hikaru laughed and tried to explain Toby to Kaoru, since he seemed a little flustered and confused. "Toby's a purebred, and we take care of him like he's going to be a show dog, but we don't have the time to travel to the show places. He still thinks he's the best though."

Kaoru reached his free hand out slowly to touch the dog.

"Careful, Toby doesn't like strangers," Hikaru quickly warned as he put his free hand on top of Kaoru's. "He might not notice your individual smell and think it's okay."

"Why... wouldn't it be okay?" Kaoru asked, quietly.

"I dunno, I just... don't want you to get hurt."

Kaoru smiled and set his hand on the dogs head, not waiting for Hikaru's to keep speed with him. He started petting the collie all along it's furr, and it didn't snarl or anything, just wagged it's tail.

"Maybe it thinks I'm you," Kaoru laughed.

Hikaru smiled, but he was really confused. The other day, this boy was afraid of everything, and now he was daring to pet a dog that might bite him? Even when there was "protection"? He was sure an odd fellow, but Hikaru felt close to him again, like he was really getting to know his childhood friend again.

"C'mon Toby, let's go," Hikaru called as he hooked a leash onto the collar and Kaoru, Hikaru, and Toby, started their morning walk.

Kaoru didn't seem to care about anything, as long as Hikaru's hand was there. It baffled Hikaru, how he gave this kid so much ease, so much radiance. Kaoru was even more puzzling and confusing than Haruhi, who often dressed like a male and wore a wig around her brother because Hikaru got gum in her hair, and Tamaki tried to fix it. Tamaki had a huge crush on Haruhi.

Not that Hikaru was gonna tell Kaoru that.

"Do you know what a crush is?" Hikaru asked.

"Sounds painful," Kaoru replied, still aloof and cheery.

Hikaru smiled and explained, "A crush is when you like someone a lot, but they don't know it."

Kaoru stopped walking and Hikaru had to stop as well after their entwined hands jerked him, and Toby stopped walking and sat down. Kaoru looked lost in thought, like this was some serious matter that needed to be thought over. Hikaru wanted to laugh at how Kaoru reminded him so much of Tamaki, but he knew Kaoru was delicate still.

"So... do I have a crush on you?" Kaoru asked as he cocked his head a bit.

Hikaru blinked, and blushed.

"No, I mean, you could. I'm saying that a crush is when someone likes someone else, but they don't know it. When the other person finds out, then they go out and are boyfriend and girlfriend, and maybe they even get married someday."

Kaoru wrinkled nose and replied, "That's sounds really dumb, why do people focus on that?"

Hikaru now thought this boy was the oddest thing he ever met.

"Do you know what love is?"

"Yeah, it hurts."

Hikaru frowned and objected, "No it doesn't, you've been exposed to the wrong kind of love. Love is good, and it shows people the way they truly look."

Kaoru thought again and smiled, a little blush on his cheeks.

"Then I love you," Kaoru replied and started to walk again.

Hikaru was tugged along, and his body continued going with Toby and Kaoru, but his mind hadn't. This boy, who he hadn't seen in years, suddenly told him after just one night, that he loved him. What kind of love did Kaoru feel though? Friend love? Or... love love?

"What do you mean?" Hikaru finally questioned, still in a daze.

"Hmm? Oh, I love you. Didn't I say that?" Kaoru wondered, a little hurt when he thought he might've not said it.

"You did, but how do you love me? Not like you... wanna marry me right?"

"Parents hurt, I don't wanna get married," Kaoru responded, sticking out his tongue in disgust. "You're really nice to me, and no one else is really, and I feel comfortable around you. I thought that's what you said love was?"

Hikaru stared at Kaoru blankly and smiled, replying, "Yeah, I love you too."

Kaoru smiled and laughed and they continued walking on, getting odd stares from everyone as they noticed the two identical boys walking, hand in hand, with their collie prancing in front of them. Yes, it was truly an odd sight for anyone.

"Hikaru-kun? I didn't know you had a twin brother," A shop keeper replied as she leaned over her merchandise as the two walked by.

"Eh? Oh, this is Kaoru, from my childhood. I've talked about him, haven't I?" Hikaru replied as they all stopped and walked over to the shop. "I thought I talked to you about him, Lizz-chan, didn't I talk about him after I got the letter?"

"Oh, this is Kaoru-kun?" Lizz, the shop keeper, replied, smiling. "He does look like he could be your twin. I didn't see any difference between you two. Oh, there's one thing. The way you part your hair."

The two blinked and touched their bangs, trying to understand what she meant. Kaoru's hair was parted on the left, going off to the right, while Hikaru's hair was part on the right, going off to the left. It was odd, how the two parted in the exact same spot on the opposite side of the head.

"Oh, wow," Hikaru muttered.

Kaoru just blinked and he bent over to look at the various foods Lizz was selling. There was a bunch of fruit, and then some loaves of bread.

"C'mon Kaoru, it's not nice to tease Toby, he's on a diet," Hikaru complained, trying to pull Kaoru away.

"What is this stuff?"

Lizz and Hikaru stared at Kaoru in disbelief. Sure, he was abused, but not knowing what fruit was?

"Why, it's fruit, darling," Lizz explained.

"Fruit..." Kaoru tested the word on his tongue. "Interesting word. What's this... fruit... taste like?"

"Didn't your parents feed you fruit?" Lizz wondered, amazed at this child.

"They didn't feed me, I had to find what was left and eat it when they didn't notice. If they noticed I got in trouble, then I was locked in my room for a whole day," Kaoru explained as he poked an apple. "This stuff looks interesting."

"Your parents didn't feed you? Where are there? I should call the police on them," Lizz complained.

"France, Germany, America, Britain, Ireland, Sweden, you have your choice," Kaoru continued, sorting through the fruit.

"You act like you don't even care when you're here with me, Kaoru, I thought you were scared of affection?" Hikaru noted, concern evident in his voice.

Kaoru nodded and replied, "This place is a wonderland. I'm gonna wake up any moment, and I don't wanna waste it."

Hikaru and Lizz raised an eyebrow at this sight of behavior. Kaoru was something they'd never seen before, the result of years of wishing and hoping that had gone to waste, and there was no hope left in his heart for anything. As far as Kaoru was concerned, if these good people were being nice to him, a bad person, it had to be a dream.

"Good people don't act like this to bad people," Kaoru explained. "So it can't be real. I'm gonna make the best of it while it lasts."

"Kaoru, this is real," Hikaru tried to explain.

Kaoru shook his head and picked up an apple and bit into it.

"You have to pay-!" Hikaru exclaimed, worried about getting in trouble with the cops.

"It's okay, he can have it for free, the poor boy," Lizz sympathized. "Just don't do that at anyone else's store, okay Kaoru-kun?"

Kaoru nodded as he stared at the apple he'd bitten into. He smiled.

"This is great!" Kaoru rejoiced as Hikaru, Kaoru, and Toby walked out of the city. "It's wonderful! I'm allowed to eat food and not get hit for it! I haven't gotten hit once so far! This is amazing and wonderful!"

Hikaru smiled and asked, solemnly, "So you think I'm a dream?"

"YOU are the part that convinced me it's a dream," Kaoru explained again, eating his apple. "You're way too good to be true. You're nice, handsome, and don't hurt. You're a good person too, and yet you love me. It's odd, you're all odd. It can't be real."

"This is real," Hikaru tried to explain again. "This is all really real, Kaoru."

"I don't think so, but I'll enjoy it none-the-less, if this is real, someone's bound to hurt me sooner or later," Kaoru sighed and squeezed Hikaru's hand a bit harder.

"Why do you act like this around me?"

Kaoru looked deep in thought again as he took the last bite of his apple and tossed it into a nearby garbage can. He walked with Hikaru, still deep in thought, trying to figure out Hikaru's question himself.

Kaoru stopped walking suddenly and turned to Hikaru and kissed him on the cheek.

"I love you, silly," Kaoru replied, cheerfully.

Hikaru blushed and they started walking again. There was something wrong with this kid. Did he even know the difference between genders? Did he know that if you kissed someone you were homosexual or in love with that gender? They weren't _actually _family, so this made no sense to him.

"Yeah, I love you too but... it's not right to kiss people of the same gender in public, much less kiss in public," Hikaru tried to explain as he was still flustered by the peck he'd gotten from Kaoru.

Hikaru couldn't help but think about it, however weird it was, Hikaru'd enjoyed it somewhat. Kaoru had smooth lips, not chapped like he'd imagine an abused child's lips would be. Kaoru was odd, he was everything he thought an abused person would be, yet everything he didn't think they could be.

Kaoru was handsome, funny, and downright adorable with everything he did. Kaoru was also frail, super skinny, and never took his clothes off in front of anyone, and he didn't know what most things were. Hikaru thought that even an abused person would have the common knowledge of what food and love was. He didn't even know what a crush was! This kid was weird. He wasn't stupid either, it actually seemed like he'd had an education. What was going on?

"Did you go to school?" Hikaru wondered.

Kaoru nodded and replied after a huff, "I was always above everyone else my grade, the teachers said I was really smart, and it was too bad that I moved from school to school, from home to home. They thought I was interesting and they were probably the only other people besides my driver that were ever nice to me. The kids picked on me though, they called me 'skinny' and 'bones' and lots of stuff like that. 'Brainiack' was one of the most common and 'freak'. I got lots of nicknames, no one ever really talked to me. I just blanked them out, if they weren't going to be nice to me, then they weren't real. They were all idiots anyway. Sure, they got mad when I didn't even look at them when they called my name, so I got shoved into and against lockers a lot. I got called abusive sometimes for no reason, and I'd go to the office. The kids were as bad as mom and dad."

"That's horrible!" Hikaru interjected. "That sounds horrible, that's really happened to you?"

"Yeah, I thought that's what they were supposed to do. I blocked out my parents a lot, and my siblings, none of them were nice to me, so I blocked them out. I guess they got mad at me and hurt me even more after that. I dunno, maybe I've gone about my whole life the wrong way."

"Too bad you moved," Hikaru whispered, sighing.

"Nah, that's just what happens to bad people. Bad people need to punished, which is the odd thing. No one here has punished me yet," Kaoru explained again, sighing and going back into thought.

"You're really smart," Hikaru encouraged, squeezing Kaoru's hand.

This made Kaoru smile and nod.

"Yeah, I guess I am."

Kaoru squeezed Hikaru's hand and smiled as they walked into their house and went to put Toby away. After they'd done that and fed the big handsome collie dog, they walked into the kitchen.

"Mom, I don't think Kaoru introduced himself the right way," Hikaru began to introduce.

"Oh, yes, Kaoru. It's been long since I've last seen you, you used to be this tall," She laughed as she showed the height of about under three feet. Kaoru smiled and re-adjusted his fingers in his grip of Hikaru's.

"It has been awhile, for some reason, you got prettier since I've last seen you myself. I guess age is moving backwards for you."

Hikaru's mom blushed and exclaimed how Kaoru was such a gentleman and it was so hard to believe anyone would ever hurt him.

Kaoru felt nervous as he thought that this couldn't all last, one of them was bound to slip and slap him. Slap him hard, too. He should be, as far as he was concerned. He ate some food without paying, a whole piece of food, not a scrap. He kissed Hikaru on the cheek, he explained how he was feeling. Yes, Kaoru should've been slapped for almost everything he'd done that day. He'd done lots of bad things.

"Come on, let's go to the Host Club, we got a meeting today. I'll ask Tamaki if you can join, but you probably can, being his brother and all. I wanna see if you can join me in my act. The girls will love twins," Hikaru explained as he pulled Kaoru out of the house, the two still hadn't taken their shoes off, so they didn't have to stall for that minority. Kaoru was still confused at this whole arrange of events. He was going back to see his brother? Would his brother hurt him?

"Ah! Kao!" Tamaki greeted as he left his guests and went to give Kaoru a big hug. "I missed you!"

"It's been a night," Kaoru scowled, trying to push Tamaki off of him. He wasn't comfortable with affection from anyone besides Hikaru.

"You taking good care of my little brother?" Tamaki asked Hikaru, at that moment, to Kaoru, Tamaki seemed big and in power, aggressive even. Kaoru winced and hid behind Hikaru and let his hands rest on Hikaru's waist as he peered over Hikaru's shoulders.

"Wonderful care, Milord, but could you stop scaring him?" Hikaru teased.

Tamaki blinked and he regained his aloof attitude again.

"Don't mind Tamaki, he's an idiot," Hikaru laughed.

Kaoru blushed as he noticed someone.

"Who's... that?" Kaoru asked, the blush evident on his face.

Hikaru followed his gaze.

"That's Haruhi, she works here as a male to repay Kyoya-kun. He's scary."

Kaoru nodded, "She's... really pretty, isn't she?"

"You think so too?" Hikaru wondered, visually amused, but he was kind of annoyed that someone else had a crush on Haruhi. Everyone seemed to like Haruhi, male or female, and it was really starting to bug Hikaru, for Haruhi acted more romantic around him than she had ever around anyone. She was too blunt though, so it could have been a mistake that Hikaru took as romance. It probably wasn't though.

"Y-yeah..."

"Oh! Hikaru! Kaoru-kun!" Haruhi noticed the two finally and she waved at them. "Come over here, my customers want to meet Kaoru-kun."

Kaoru shook his head and wrapped his arms around Hikaru. "I'm scared."

"They won't hurt you, I swear on my soul."

"If they do, you have to save me, then your soul will still be okay," Kaoru explained as the two walked over, hand in hand.

"Are you two lovers or something? You look like it with the way you don't leave eachother," One customer pointed and the others squealed. "It's so cute, Hikaru! You never act like that to anyone!"

Kaoru got mad and he squeezed Hikaru's hand.

Hikaru looked at him and Kaoru explained that he didn't like other people talking to him, that Kaoru was jealous. Everyone sat, confused, wondering why the two were looking into eachother's eyes for so long. Was it something romantic, or what?

"I'm sorry," Hikaru finally replied aloud and pulled Kaoru into a hug. "I'm so sorry, Kaoru."

Kaoru smiled, he was okay with this now.

The two sat down and Hikaru explained about their childhood together and how Kaoru had been all over the world.

"Oh! That's amazing! I've gone to most all of the world, but I haven't gotten to the Americas. What's it like there, Kaoru-kun?" Another customer asked.

"The people are really kind of snotty, full of themselves, but there's a lot of nice people too, most of them are older people though. They have a good school system, you learn quite a bit. The police are really active and overprotective, like a parent I guess," Kaoru explained. "From what I got, the food was really good, mostly the bread though. They have lots of pretty cars too. I like that place a lot. I like it here more, however."

They all squealed.

"You're so cool, Kaoru-kun!"

Kaoru smiled and Hikaru now knew what Kaoru was talking about earlier. He felt jealous that these people were talking to him, Kaoru was his and his alone for now. Kaoru didn't like them as anything, he liked Hikaru. He _loved _Hikaru. So why were these people even trying to talk to Kaoru. It made Hikaru a bit furious.

Kaoru yawned and leaned onto Hikaru, starting to fall asleep.

"I'm tired," Kaoru complained. "When do we go home?"

"Ah, today's been a big day for you, hasn't it?" Hikaru remembered.

"Good people are weird."

Hikaru laughed and ran his fingers through Kaoru's soft, smooth, yet unwashed hair.

"When's the last time you washed your hair?" Hikaru wondered.

"I dunno."

Haruhi walked over and sat next to the two and stroked her hand through Kaoru's hair. Hikaru fumed with jealousy, but Kaoru didn't seem to mind her touch. Kaoru rather liked it, actually. Haruhi was soft with him, gentle. She wasn't that way to Hikaru. No, she wasn't like that with anyone except for Hunny. Even then, she wasn't this kind and gentle to Hunny, for she knew that Hunny was her older brother and didn't need this kind of treatment. Haruhi slapped Hikaru on the head, didn't look at him, she didn't look at any of the Host Club members lovingly. Here she was, smiling and blushing as she stroked her soft, delicate hand through Kaoru's hair.

"You're like a baby, Kaoru-kun," Haruhi cooed.

Karou moaned and struggled. Tamaki came over and picked Kaoru up, and Karou finally fell into a deep sleep in Tamaki's arms. Tamaki explained that they were infact brothers, they just didn't look anything alike, to everyone it seemed that him and Hunny should be related.

"It's like the hospital got your families messed up, Kaoru-kun should be with Hikaru-kun, and you should be Hunny-kun's younger brother. It would make more sense if Mori-kun was Haruhi-kun's brother," Some customers explained, nodding at the others statement and agreeing as they all fit together.

Tamaki laughed and replied, "Yes, but Kaoru-kun's still my baby brother. No matter how big he gets."

Hikaru stared at him with jealousy.

"What's wrong Hikaru-kun?" A couple girls asked, worried about him, Haruhi asked Hikaru the same question.

Hikaru didn't reply, just glared at Tamaki, that evil intruder.

"He can't touch him," Hikaru scowled. "It's not fair, he can't touch Kaoru. He shouldn't be allowed to."

"They're brothers!"

Hikaru nodded and shook his head.

"No, we're twins."


	3. Can't Stop Thinking

Kaoru wasn't in bed with him. Sure, it had only been one night with the identical wonder, but Hikaru felt like he'd known Kaoru forever, and it hurt not to feel that chest moving up and down in rhythmic breathing that was at the same rate as his own. Tamaki had taken him home to sleep at his house, for they had a room open. Hikaru argued that Kaoru could sleep on his bed while he'd sleep on the floor, he just didn't want them to take him away.

Hikaru didn't even know who he was anymore.

"I can't sleep," Hikaru complained as he walked into his mother's bedroom. His parents had seperate bedrooms ever since Hikaru complained that if they were together he might get a sibling, and after Kaoru left, Hikaru said he never wanted a sibling. He only wanted Kaoru back then. Hikaru thought he got over it.

The forgotten memories were attacking him in full force.

"What's wrong, hunny?" Yuna asked as she groaned and sat up slightly.

"I can't sleep," Hikaru sobbed. "I can't sleep!"

Hikaru crawled into bed, and his mother ran her fingers through his hair, humming to him like she used when he was a child.

"You'd always do this a night after a sleepover," Yuna remembered and told Hikaru. "After Kaoru-kun slept over you'd always have trouble sleeping afterwards. Everyone thought it was so cute, like you two were actually twins or something."

Hikaru sniffled and rubbed a tear from his eyes.

"I thought he was staying with us? Not Tamaki," Hikaru complained. "It's not fair, Kaoru was supposed to stay here."

"You've only seen him for a day almost, and you're already re-attached to him? This is a record for anyone I've ever known," Yuna laughed as she ruffled his hair a bit. "If Kaoru-kun's okay with it, we can adopt him. That is, if you want me to."

"He's weird," Hikaru complained again. "He told me he loved me, he's a weirdo."

"How did you respond?"

"I said I loved him too, but that's not the point. He kissed me on the cheek in public, he's weird."

Yuna laughed again and she held Hikaru close as they both fell asleep.

"Then why can't you stop thinking about him?" His mom asked as she fell asleep.

Hikaru shuddered and turned to look at her. What did she mean by that? How did she know that Hikaru couldn't get Kaoru off of his mind?

Finally, he fell asleep, with millions of thoughts running through his head.

_

* * *

"Kaoru?" Hikaru asked as they sat in front of the lake, both of them weary._

_"Yes, Hikaru?" Kaoru questioned as an answer to Hikaru's question._

_"Do you think, we'll be together forever?"_

_Kaoru smiled and squeezed Hikaru's hand._

_"I sure hope so. Only, Fate has an odd way of dealing with me."_

_"Kaoru..."_

_Hikaru grasped Kaoru's chin and pulled his face close to his, the blush on his face almost radiating the heat that Hikaru felt on his own face, which was probably a blush all on his own. The two's lips locked and they sat infront of the lake for the longest time until the lips removed..._

* * *

"EW!" Hikaru shouted as he woke up and felt his heartbeat as he sat up, he was huffing and puffing, trying to catch his breath. What kind of a dream was that? Hikaru was blushing and trying to calm himself down, trying not to gag from his dream. Why was he dreaming about it in the first place? That was just wrong.

"Bad dream?" Came Kaoru's voice and Hikaru jumped at the sound of it. He turned to see Kaoru sitting on the bed, right next to him. "Yuna-chan said you were still asleep, so I came in here to watch over you. You sure are a funny sleeper."

Kaoru laughed and started to get up off of the bed.

Hikaru watched him, as his fingers worked when his hands pushed him off of the bed, the way his feet and toes worked as he walked across the floor. What confused Hikaru the most was how his delicate face formed that smile that made everything melt away, after he smiled everything was better, and those lips...

He couldn't get that dream out of his head. He couldn't remember much of it, but he was sure that there was a kissing scene. That confused Hikaru the most, Kaoru was like a brother, not a lover. Why was Hikaru even thinking about him like that?

"You coming down for breakfast?" Kaoru asked.

Hikaru gulped and nodded, he ran to catch up to Kaoru and the two walked downstairs.

"Ah! Kao! You're smiling again!" Tamaki cheered as the twins walked down into the kitchen. Kaoru blushed and nodded, his hand inside of Hikaru's again. It was confusing to Hikaru, why would Kaoru be smiling now, but not then?

"Again?" Hikaru asked. "What about last night?"

"I... wasn't feeling good," Kaoru tried to explain, the blush evident on his face only to Hikaru.

Hikaru smiled as he watched how Kaoru's lips formed the words, those majestic words. Or was it the lips that were majestic to Hikaru?

"Hikaru, our food's getting cold," Kaoru finally broke through Hikaru's mind barrier and the two went, sat down, and began eating.

"You two are so identical, it's almost not funny anymore," Haruhi pointed out and laughed. "No one could tell you two apart if you really tried, don't you think?"

Hikaru laughed and nodded, blushing.

Kaoru frowned and shoved his fork with blueberries on it into Hikaru's mouth.

"It's fruit, it's good for you," Kaoru explained, annoyance in his tone.

Hikaru nodded after Kaoru removed his fork and Hikaru began staring at the boy again. Kaoru was so confusing to him, he just didn't know what was going through his head anymore. Yet, he did know what was going through Kaoru's head. Hikaru felt that Kaoru was jealous that Hikaru liked Haruhi, why though? Because Kaoru liked Haruhi? Or because... Kaoru liked Hikaru? Well, that was obvious, Kaoru admitted that he loved Hikaru, so why was this all coming as a shocker to Hikaru? Did he think that... Kaoru liked him as more than friend? Hikaru stuck out his tongue and Kaoru stuck another forkful of fruit into Hikaru's mouth.

"Keep your thoughts to yourself," Kaoru scolded. "They're annoying and corrupting."

Hikaru blinked, what did Kaoru mean about his thoughts? Could Kaoru tell what Hikaru was thinking of? Hikaru decided to test it out, and he imagined Kaoru and him making out infront of a lake, like his dream. Hikaru didn't particularly like it, but he wanted to test Kaoru's abilities.

"Stop," Kaoru scowled as he shoved more food into Hikaru's mouth. "Chew before you think like that again, I think your mouth is getting full and then you can't chew, then you'll choke, and then you'll die."

Hikaru chewed and swallowed and scowled right back, "Maybe you shouldn't be reading my mind in the first place."

"You're a pervert," Kaoru accused and shoved more food into Hikaru's mouth. "Did you know that?"

"I dunno, I think the girls like twins that love eachother," Hikaru thought out loud. "You know, girls go ga-ga over gay guys, imagine what they'd do if they saw twin brothers together, gay twins... you know, I think that could become a major hit at the Host Club. What do you think Tamaki?"

"No," He immediately answered. "I will not let my brother turn into your playtoy."

Kaoru frowned. What did he mean by a playtoy? Hikaru wouldn't use Kaoru, he was too nice to do that, or so Kaoru hoped. Kaoru was hoping that Hikaru was a good guy, and that Hikaru was unlike other good people. Of course, that's what Kaoru was hoping for, however, hope was a big stretch for the hopeless and dying Kaoru.

"Why not?" Kaoru asked, and he linked arms with Hikaru and rested his head on Hikaru's shoulder. "I think it'd be fun."

"No," Tamaki continued replying. "You don't get it, Kao. It's just plain crap, and none of it's real, and I don't want you getting into your head that love is all like that, all gushy and crap. Love isn't all daisies and roses, it's hard work, and it hurts too."

"I love Hikaru," Kaoru responded, annoyed. "I love Hikaru a lot. So what are you saying?"

Tamaki groaned, "I mean... love love. Where you want to get married to that person. You're not going to get married to Hikaru."

Hikaru shoved a huge forkful of food into Kaoru's mouth the moment he thought of Kaoru's thought. He didn't want his thought to be right, and it threw Hikaru's emotional scale off-balance.

"Maybe I want to mar-"

Hikaru shoved more food into Kaoru's mouth.

"Oh dear! Look how skinny you are! Come on now, the fruit can't hurt!" Hikaru laughed, trying to hide the nervousness.

"Maybe I wanna marry Hikaru?" Kaoru asked the moment he swallowed, so he could spit it out before Hikaru shoved more food into his mouth. "What would you do then, brother Tamaki?"

Everyone blinked and stared at Kaoru. Hikaru felt sick and he gagged a bit.

"What?" Kaoru asked, a bit nervous. "What's wrong with that?"

"Karou-kun darling," Yuna tried to explain. "Do you know what married couples do?"

Kaoru yawned and leaned on Hikaru and shook his head.

"They fight, I know that. I know that they love eachother too. I love Hikaru, so why can't I marry him?" Kaoru asked as he started to drift off with his head on Hikaru's shoulder.

"Kaoru, married couples... do stuff to have kids," Hikaru explained.

"I know that stuff. I'm the leader of my classes. I'm the smartest, I told you that."

"So... they do stuff..."

"So?" Kaoru asked, raising his head and staring at Hikaru with his innocent eyes. "I don't understand. Why's it such a big deal?"

"Guys don't marry guys," Hikaru continued to try to explain to only achieve no ground. Kaoru really didn't seem to understand what was wrong with him marrying Hikaru, and he seemed sure of it. "Kaoru, we only just met again, that wouldn't work out. Even you really meant that you wanted to marry me, you shouldn't make that judgement until we know eachother better, if you know what I mean."

Kaoru growled and poked his finger to Hikaru's forhead, "I know what you think better than they do."

"What's my favorite class?"

"You have three, Chemistry, Physics, and Math," Kaoru explained.

Hikaru blushed and asked again, "When's my birthday?"

"The same day as mine, silly."

"What did I dream about before I woke up this morning?" Hikaru finally asked, annoyed at how Kaoru was getting everything right. Kaoru blinked, blushed and looked down and away a bit.

"Umm, do you want me to tell you out loud or in private?"

Hikaru blinked.

He knew.

"Whisper it to me," Hikaru hissed.

Kaoru smiled and whispered, "You were dreaming of me."

Hikaru immediately blushed and shook his head and growled, "I was not! You're so weird, why would you think that?"

Kaoru smiled and turned back to eating, squeezing Hikaru's hand.

"Yes, why would you think that?"

Hikaru scowled and stood up, leaving Kaoru behind, trying to shake the little identical "wonder" off of his mind. It annoyed him severly, how this boy was stuck on his mind and couldn't be shaken off. Hikaru wasn't really obsessed with this kid, was he?

* * *

"Kao, I think you made Hikaru mad," Tamaki sighed and walked over to his brother and pat him lightly on the shoulder. Kaoru shuddered under Tamaki's hand, and Tamaki felt it, but he didn't say anything about it.

"Break ends today," Hunny noted as he sat next to Mori. Despite the fact that Hunny was always with Haruhi, he would be found just as often with Mori. "Takashi and I can't wait until we go back!"

Haruhi nodded and replied to Hunny, "I can't wait either, I got to get good grades."

"How do you think Kao is gonna fit in?" Tamaki wondered, patting Kaoru on the shoulder again.

"I feel sick, I need to use the restroom," Kaoru whimpered and dashed off to the bathroom.

"What's his problem?" Tamaki and Kyoya wondered as Kaoru threw himself in the bathroom.

Kaoru sat, his hand over his heart, trying to calm his heartbeat down. He prayed no one was in the bathroom, for he thought it was empty since everyone was in the kitchen. It didn't matter to him, that pat on the shoulder was like a death warrant, and Kaoru was like the poor prisoner recieving it.

"Don't you knock?" Hikaru scowled behind the shower curtain.

Kaoru shivered and turned around to stare at the curtain, but he quickly turned around again.

"I-I'm sorry," Kaoru apologized.

Hikaru sighed and scowled, "Oh it's YOU."

Kaoru felt bad now, for making Hikaru run off, for making him have "bad" dreams, for causing Hikaru so much stress. Kaoru thought he was causing a whole load of stress upon Hikaru, but Hikaru's real stress was trying to figure out why he couldn't stop thinking about the kid. Just why did Hikaru dream about him? Hikaru couldn't even sleep without him by his side, he hadn't had one of those nights since he was a child... he had a complete month of them after Kaoru left.

He curled himself into a ball on the floor, just trying to calm himself down.

"Why were you in such a rush?" Hikaru asked as the water came to a stop.

Kaoru felt a warm blush go across his face.

"Hand me a towel, will you?"

Kaoru nodded and grabbed the towel from off the toilet seat and handed it to the hand sticking out from behind the dark colored shower curtain. It was a smart thing to do, no one could see behind it. Kaoru felt a little better now.

Hikaru walked out, the towel wrapped around his waste and he bent down.

"Well? Come on in. You need your hair washed, and I assume you can't do that?" Hikaru asked, not meaning to sound like a tease with that little hint of annoyance in his voice. Hikaru wasn't annoyed with Kaoru, he was annoyed with himself, for even insisting that this child come into the shower with him. Hikaru never showered with anyone, after he'd grown old enough to learn how to wash his hair, he'd taken showers all by his lonesome.

Kaoru nodded and after Hikaru'd drawn back his curtain and stood there waiting, Kaoru slowly took his clothes off.

He felt kind of sick to his stomach. This was Hikaru though, so he'd listen.

"Okay..." Kaoru whispered as he stood infront of the shower, feeling bare and embarassed.

"Well? Come in."

Kaoru nodded his head and walked in, his back to Hikaru. Immediatly Hikaru reached around Kaoru and turned the water on. He stayed like that for a second.

"That skin..." Hikaru whispered in awe.

"What? What's wrong with my skin?"

Hikaru blushed and pulled back. There was nothing WRONG with his skin, not that he'd noticed so far, it was just, it was so smooth, so warm, he'd never felt anyone like that. His blush deepened when he realized it. He was thinking about Kaoru again.

He reached for some shampoo and began to massage into Kaoru's hair as the water poured down on both of them.

"Sorry about earlier, I was just kidding," Kaoru apologized, quietly. "I didn't mean to offend you."

"I was mad," Hikaru admitted.

"Mad at me?"

"Mad that you were right."

Hikaru's voice had gone to that of a whisper when he noticed the marks on Kaoru's arms.

"Did you do those?"

"Nah, parents. Horrible people I know," Kaoru replied, laughing a bit.

"Look like they hurt. A lot."

"They do."

Hikaru traced his finger down the marks on Kaoru's arm and Kaoru shivered.

"There is... one thing that hurts more," Kaoru answered again, kind of embarassed at Hikaru touching the marks on his arm. He refused to let anyone touch them, even his own step parents. When he refused his stepparents they'd beat him even more for it. Kaoru was just too sure that anyone who'd try to touch them, was evil. Hikaru wasn't evil though, and if he was, Kaoru didn't care.

Kaoru had a secret he wasn't about to share, with anyone.

He couldn't get Hikaru off his mind, either.

"What's that?" Hikaru asked as he stared at his finger running up and down Kaoru's arm. He didn't even realize that he wasn't feeling the marks anymore, but the soft flesh underneath his fingertips.

"You."

Hikaru blinked and realized what he was doing and his face flushed a deep red and he covered his mouth.

"Oh... really?" Hikaru asked, his mouth muffled.

"Yeah," Kaoru replied, nodding his head. "You."

"I hurt you?"

"Badly."

Hikaru suddenly realized he should stop thinking about this child for his own benefit. If Hikaru hurt Kaoru, then he didn't want to be around Kaoru anymore, as long as the boy stopped feeling pain. He felt like he'd do anything to make the boy happy, to be in complete bliss, to see that smile again. Hikaru would do anything to see that again. Even if it meant leaving the wonder, it didn't matter, as long as he was happy. Why was Hikaru thinking about him like this? That was the one question Hikaru wanted an answer to, the only question that really mattered anymore to him.

"How do I hurt you?" Hikaru asked, concern full in his tone.

"Doesn't matter, no matter what you do, it will always hurt, there's no use in trying to nullify it, just forget I even mentioned it," Kaoru sighed, shaking his head along with the words he spoke. Hikaru only imagined the face, all sad and alone and depressed. Just the thoughts of it made Hikaru want to wrap his arms around the kid.

Hikaru couldn't forget Kaoru mentioned that.

He couldn't forget anything about Kaoru. Even if he tried.

The next thing he knew, he noticed he was rubbing his fingertips up and down the sides of Kaoru's skinny and showing ribs. Hikaru blushed and got out of the shower, standing there, wondering what to do next.

"Hikaru? Are you okay?" Kaoru asked as he still stood there, blushing about how Hikaru had touched his ribs. Again, those were places he'd never let anyone touch him, but Hikaru was different, and he didn't want to yell at Hikaru, or get mad at him. Ever.

"F-fine..." Hikaru replied.

He couldn't stop thinking about him.

Hikaru finally quickly dried off and threw his clothes on and dashed out of the bathroom, into his room, and onto his bed. He'd locked the door to his bedroom and shut the door to the bathroom even in his frenzy. Hikaru stuffed his face into his pillow and screamed. The more he screamed, the harder he pulled the pillow around his face. It was driving him insane, this child was. He just couldn't get him off of his mind. He wasn't even a girl! Hikaru thought about him more than he ever thought about Haruhi, and that disturbed him immensely. Suddenly, he found himself wishing Kaoru would have never came back. That's when he burst into tears, because it wasn't true. He wanted Kaoru back. He was so excited when he heard that he'd come back, and he'd stayed up all night for a week and slept during the day, if only for an hour. He couldn't wait to see him, he just couldn't.

Now Hikaru was flustered, nervous, and scared.

"Hikaru?" Haruhi asked as she tried to open the door. "Why is the door locked?"

"Go away," Hikaru scowled. "Just leave me alone."

Haruhi frowned and went down into the kitchen, still worrying about him. She sat at the table and sighed.

"What's wrong with Hikaru now?" Lenny asked as he sat down next to Yuna and they stared at everyone in worry. "That boy's insane with how often he gets upset, he gets upset over the littlest things. So, what's it this time?"

"I don't know, he wouldn't open his door," Haruhi replied, with a deep sigh accompanying it.

Tamaki shook his head.

"That boy is so weird," Tamaki scowled.

* * *

Kaoru sat on the toilet, a long and huge towel wrapped around his whole body, and he sat there sobbing. The shower was still on, so no one outside would hear him, they'd just hear the shower and think Kaoru was still in there.

Kaoru buried his face into the towel, wiping away his tears with his exposed fingertips, for the towel hurt his eyes too much. At first he ran into the bathroom to escape everyone in the kitchen, for he thought they were going to hurt him. Kaoru was only brave because his protector was there, Hikaru promised Kaoru would never get hurt, he wouldn't let him. If Hikaru wasn't there, how could he withhold that promise? Kaoru didn't want Hikaru to break a promise to him.

Now Kaoru was sitting, alone.

Kaoru didn't want to be alone, he wanted someone with him, and he started sobbing deeper and he tried to let his mind wander off. It wouldn't though, it always traveled back to that boy that looked like his reflection in a mirror. It made Kaoru want to cry, he didn't know why he couldn't stop thinking about Hikaru.

It was the truth, Hikaru'd hurt Kaoru in the worst way possible.

"What's wrong with me?" Kaoru sobbed. "What did I do to deserve all of this?"

No one knew Kaoru. It didn't even seem that Hikaru knew Kaoru. Tamaki didn't know him, Haruhi didn't, no one did. He was all alone in the world, still.

Eventually, he stood up and put his clothes on and slinked out of the bathroom and up to Hikaru's door. He turned the knob to find it was locked, so Hikaru must've been in there. Kaoru slipped a paperclip out of his pocket and tried to open Hikaru's door, because Hikaru had an older model that didn't need a key, but something to push upon the central lock. **((I have a few in my house. lol.))**

"Hikaru!" Kaoru sobbed as he threw open the door and shut it quickly and locked it again, then he turned around and jumped onto the bed and cuddled up to Hikaru. "I'm so sorry!"

"Wha-? You didn't do anything," Hikaru replied, taking his head out of his pillow and wrapping his arms around Kaoru, pulling him up and closer to him. "It's alright, Kaoru. There's nothing you need to apologize for. You didn't do anything wrong, it's my fault for running out with no reason. I just... had a problem."

"I'm sorry," Kaoru continued to sob. "Don't leave me alone, please."

This was a shock to Hikaru, what was Kaoru saying? Don't leave him alone? Oh yes, that's right, Kaoru was an abused child. Hikaru almost had forgotten with how mature and controlling Kaoru was. He didn't seem like an abused child. To him an abused child would cry and cry and not be able to control it's feelings and lash out and have a million temper tantrums a day. Something was odd about Kaoru though, and it couldn't help but Hikaru more and more. Of course, his thoughts were interupted by the deep sobbings of the child.

"Please... no matter what I do, don't leave me alone. Don't leave me alone," Kaoru sobbed. "I'm scared."

"Scared? Why?"

"They'll get me."

They? They who?

"Who'll get you?" Hikaru asked for more clarification.

"I don't know, them. The monsters. Just please, don't leave me again!" Kaoru whimpered an answer.

A smile spread across Hikaru's lips and he pulled Kaoru closer and kissed Kaoru's forehead, then the tip of his nose and stopped. He whispered, "I won't let them get you, not as long as I'm with you. Don't worry when I'm next to you."

"I don't."

Hikaru closed his eyes and the two began to fall asleep.

"Hika-" Tamaki started as he opened the door to see the two asleep on the bed, tears still on Kaoru's face. Tamaki smiled and sighed and walked out of the room.

"What's wrong sempai?" Haruhi asked as Tamaki walked gloomily past her.

"Forget it, Kao will never see me as a brother when he has Hikaru."

Haruhi frowned and looked at the two in the bed.

"You two trouble makers," Haruhi sighed. "He was looking forward to Kaoru coming to live with him for months. How could they do that?"

"Kaoru, you should spend time with Tamaki," Hikaru whispered, as the door opening woke him up. "You really should."

"He's family," Kaoru argued.

"What's that have to do with anything?"

"He'll hurt me. Family will be the death of me."

Haruhi and Hikaru blinked and opened their mouth and Hikaru came back with, "I consider myself your brother. Will I be the death of you?"

Kaoru laughed and whispered, "You already are."

"Will you hang out with sempai tomorrow, Kaoru-kun? Please? After school? He'd really like to have his little brother back," Haruhi requested.

The said boy sighed and nodded his head.

"Only if he doesn't hurt me."


	4. A Day With Tamaki

Kaoru thought this whole school was horrible. He'd already gone through a whole day and the guys were teasing him for smelling like a girl and for looking exactly like Hikaru. Kaoru was in class 1-C because he wasn't rich or anything, he just barely got into the school with the help of Hikaru. Apparently, the school didn't realize that Kaoru's older brother was the son of the chairman, and that his "twin" was in the A class. It made Kaoru want to cry. He didn't know anyone, and they were all teasing him. Most of them were teasing him for being friends with those of the higher class and it bugged Kaoru immensely, he wanted to stand up and punch them, but when he did that, he gained lots of enemies, so he learned not to do it. It was alright though, it was just like all his old schools. So why did it bug him now?

"He's just trying to copy Hikaru-kun probably, none of that's real anyway," Someone joked as the boys stood behind Kaoru, pulling at his hair and getting it wet, drying to see if it was a wig or dye that he put in his hair. Now he severely felt like crying or beating someone up. "Isn't that right, goldilocks?"

Yes, the poor child didn't know how much longer he could take this before bursting out into something. When he did though, he was sure he'd get his life beaten out of him, and that wasn't going to be good, he was trying to keep out of trouble so he wouldn't worry Hikaru. Hikaru had complained that they should go to the office and get Kaoru transferred to 1-A, but Kaoru insisted that it was okay, and that Hikaru shouldn't fret over something as small and unimportant as this. The truth was, Kaoru was praying the Hikaru would ignore his request and go to the office and get him switched, but Hikaru bought Kaoru's act and left him alone. Sometimes Kaoru hated how good of an actor he was.

It was now lunchtime, and he'd agreed to meet Haruhi and Hikaru in the lunchroom, for they were in the same class and every class had lunch at the same time. Kaoru had almost gotten there when he was interupted by some boys, and the hair stood up on Kaoru's neck and he swore he could feel the tears tugging at his eyes.

"What do you want?" Kaoru asked, trying to keep his voice above a whimper.

"Let me guess, you're going to go sit with Hikaru-kun now, right? I thought so, you ARE trying to look just like him, after all. What do you think that's gonna do? Get you into the A class? Trust me kid, it's not gonna work, we've tried everything to get into the A class, and it all depends on your family background. Trust me, you have NO background, don't even try it," The "leader" of the boys growled at Kaoru. Kaoru really felt like crying now.

"I wasn't trying to get into the A class, I'm fine with the C-"

"Liar."

One of the boys slapped Kaoru on the head and pulled on his hair.

"Come on, it has to be a wig," He scowled as another poured a bucket of water on him.

"The hair color dye has to come out in water. Unless it's permanent, man alive are you desperate," The boy laughed whom poured the water on him.

The boys continued to torture Kaoru until he was a sopping and sobbing mess. They groaned as they tried to figure out what was wrong with this kid. Then they all smiled and the leader walked up to Kaoru and chuckled, "Those are contacts, aren't they? Let's se-"

"Leave him alone!" Someone shouted as they pushed the boys out of the way as he was just about to poke Kaoru's eyes to take out the colored contacts which weren't there. "Why don't you go pick on eachother? No one else wants to hear it."

"Ah!" The boys cried as they noticed who it was when they were about to him. "It's the chairman's son!"

They dashed off and strong arms wrapped around Kaoru and pulled him close. Kaoru didn't know who it was, and he didn't care either. He began sobbing and sobbing, people staring as they passed them in the hallway.

"It's okay, big brother's here," The person cooed.

Kaoru finally realized it was Tamaki, but the fear of the boys overtook his fear of family and he hugged Tamaki tighter.

"Let's go to the nurse," Tamaki cooed again and pulled Kaoru off to the nurse.

"Oh, Tamaki-kun, who's this?" The nurse greeted as she walked over to the two. "I haven't had anyone here in days."

"This is my little brother, Kao... Kaoru, and he got into a fight, or rather, some boys got into a fight with him, and they did a number on him before I came in to get him," Tamaki explained as he stroked one hand through Kaoru's hair. "He's in class 1-C, and the students don't like him because he resembles Hikaru from class 1-A."

The nurse nodded and replied, "By God, for a second I thought he was Hikaru-kun."

She set him down and took his temp, all the while Tamaki sat by his side, his arm wrapped around him and trying to comfort him. Kaoru sniffled and leaned on Tamaki, tears still streaming down his face.

"He promised," Kaoru whispered.

"Who did?" Tamaki asked, smiling now that Kaoru had spoken.

"Hikaru promised he wouldn't let me get hurt."

Tamaki sighed and put his hand on Kaoru's soppy wet hair.

"I'm sorry, Kao. I'll try to keep my eye on you more often. If Hikaru isn't there, I'll be there. If I'm not there, Hikaru will be there. Sound fair?"

Kaoru nodded, smiled, and snuggled closer to his big brother.

"I'm... glad you're my brother," Kaoru admitted. "I never told you before, but I really missed you."

After getting him a clean uniform, Tamaki and Kaoru were excused from school when Tamaki explained the fight, but refused to mention who the boys were for their own safety and because he didn't want Kaoru getting beaten up again. Kaoru didn't mind that he wasn't with Hikaru for once. He was just so happy that he was with someone, and for some reason, he was even happier that it was Tamaki and NOT Hikaru. Kaoru never thought like this before, to him everything was about Hikaru, and now Tamaki was invading his small mind. It didn't matter to Kaoru though. Tamaki was his older brother, and for the first time in all the time that Kaoru had been there, he was happy that Tamaki was so.

"So, you're probably used to what I saved you from, hmm?" Tamaki asked as they sat, licking their ice cream cones. Kaoru closed his eyes and nodded. "So... how different was that from what you normally got? I'm really interested about what those people did to you."

"They, just... hurt. Hurt in anyway possible. They'd slap, punch, pinch, cut, bruise... I've been almost drowned before," Kaoru explained, not seeming like it was all that big of a deal, but Tamaki seemed to think it was amazing how anyone could even think of doing such a thing, Kaoru found it amusing to watch Tamaki's mixed expressions. "They raped too."

Tamaki's eyes went wide and he asked, "So are you a virgin?"

"Nope."

Tamaki seemed like he'd faint, and when he almost did, Kaoru laughed and laughed.

"Oh my gosh," Kaoru laughed. "That was priceless. Yes, I've been raped, but they got in trouble before they could do anything bad, so I'm still a virgin. I haven't had my first kiss either. The badest of my parents who probably would've done nasty stuff like that got taken care of too quickly, or their spouses would kill them if they saw anymore."

Tamaki steadied himself. "So you were joking with me?"

Kaoru smiled maliciously, "Yup. It was fun too."

For the next couple minutes, Tamaki scolded Kaoru and tried to teach Kaoru not to joke around with Tamaki about those things, but he just couldn't take his older brother seriously and he kept breaking out into fits of laughter.

"I don't know, I'm having trouble with this," Kaoru admitted as he sat with Tamaki on a bench in an abandoned park later into the night. Apparently the place was haunted so no one ever came around there, and Kaoru was having a bit of trouble and wouldn't sit still. Tamaki thought Kaoru was scared of ghosts so they were about to leave before Kaoru finally spoke up. "I love you and want to stay your brother. I love Hikaru too though, and I want to be his brother really, REALLY badly."

"His brother? I thought you wanted to marry him?" Tamaki tried to clear up.

"I-I was joking. I think," Kaoru wondered himself. "I just really want to be close to him, and I hate seeing him with other people. You feel that way about me, so that must mean I see him as a brother, right?"

"Kaoru, I'm only upset because you're my little brother, and the last I remember of you, you were in kindergarten. Kindergarten was a long time ago. I was so scared when I lost you, I just wanted you back, and I couldn't imagine you as an adult. I still have trouble seeing you as a young adult, and since you're abused, it's even harder. You don't act like an adult, you have too much innocence to you. When you said you wanted to marry Hikaru, and we had to explain it, well..."

"But I was joking."

"I know Kaoru, but that's not my point. I'm trying to say that because you have lived under different circumstances, it's natural for me, who still thinks of you as a kindergartener, to treat you like a baby and not want you with anyone else. For you..."

"I don't get it."

"Let me-"

"But you're not making any sense, brother Tamaki!" Kaoru argued. "Don't I see Hikaru as a brother?"

Tamaki groaned and continued, "It doesn't seem like you see him as a brother. Brothers aren't supposed to cuddle with eachother or want them by their side all the time. I only do because of an emotional instability I acquired when you were taken away. I don't think you see him as a brother. Why the sudden interest?"

Kaoru frowned and grabbed Tamaki's hand and whispered his question, "What if, let's say, I can't stop thinking about him. If he's not my brother, why wouldn't I be able to stop thinking about him? That is, if that was an actual situation, I'm just curious for in case it ever happens."

The elder laughed and answered, "Then you love him."

"As a brother?"

"No. As a-"

"As what?"

"A lover."

The boy blinked. A lover? Did he even know what a lover was? He was so... innocent. Sure, like he'd said earlier, he'd been raped, and yes, he was the highest of all his classes, but that didn't change the fact that he never got close to anyone to be able to call them a "lover". The word confused Kaoru, and the context of it baffled him even more.

"Is _lover_ a state of being? Does it have anything to do with the word _love?" _Kaoru asked, too confused to really understand what it was that he was exactly asking. "I don't understand brother Tamaki. Lover... is that where two people love eachother? Then wouldn't be lovers? I love you and I... I think you love me? You do love me right? Mmm, this is a hard word to figure out. A lover is connected to love and-"

"Your babble is confusing me, Kaoru," Tamaki complained.

"Sorry."

Tamaki sighed and began explaining, "Love is something... else as well. Like, making love and-"

"How do you _make love_ when love is a feeling?"

Tamaki scowled and hit himself on the forehead and suddenly he asked, "You know how mommy and daddy's make babies right? That's how people make love. It's when they do stuff like that. For example, baby making and kissing are different versions of love, and that's what lovers do and-"

"I never kissed Hikaru. Not on the lips anyway," Kaoru pondered. "So how can I be his lover? We never did the-"

"Please! You'll burn my ears."

"How do guys _make love _if neither of them is a girl? That doesn't make any sense. I thought only mommy and daddy could have babies, not daddy and daddy," Kaoru pondered again. Tamaki's face was burning red and he didn't know how to explain this to Kaoru without feeling uncomfortable. Whatever, he'd already failed that.

"Guys can't have babies, Kaoru," Tamaki tried to explain.

"Then how can guys be lovers?"

"They can have sex, but they can't ha-"

"But that thing the girl has is involved in sex, so how-"

"Kaoru! Stop it!" Tamaki scolded and scowled. "I don't feel comfortable explaining that. I'm not homosexu-"

"I know how gay guys have sex, dumby. I just wanted to see how long I could keep it up until you cracked," Kaoru explained, laughing a bit.

"You little..."

"So, anyway, I really am confused about how I feel about him," Kaoru sighed and looked away, a bit ashamed. "I really can't tell if I like him as a brother or as a lover. I really meant that part. So, you really think I think of him as a lover?"

Tamaki sighed and nodded. "I was... adopted into your family, you know."

Kaoru shot up and looked at Tamaki again and questioned, "Seriously?"

"Seriously. I don't know, maybe it was really you who was adopted. In case you haven't noticed it, you don't match what mom and dad looked like. Yet, I do. Hikaru doesn't really match his parents either. Think about it too, isn't it a little TOO ironic that you two look the same and have the same last names? We haven't even met our blood relatives, why didn't they take us in? Maybe you were adopted and Hikaru was adopted and you two were actual twins and the families took on your last names as a request to keep to you two from never not being able to meet your twin? Maybe the courts thought it'd be better and if your parents wanted to find you two they'd find out because you still had the last name? I don't know, but really you have to think about it-"

"How long have you been thinking about it?"

"Forever, I guess. Ever since we met Hikaru. It always baffled me, and Kyoya did some research, and our mom and dad had no records of giving birth in a hospital, rather, mother was unable to have children so they went into foster care. Kyoya also found missing reports of parents by the Hitachiin last name, and they were never found. Maybe we are adopted brothers and you and Hikaru are real brothers?" Tamaki tried to explain further.

"So you're telling me we're brothers?" Kaoru asked, hiding his nervousness.

"More than likely, everything is pointing to that," Tamaki confirmed. "Kyoya is a good researcher."

"You just told me we would be lovers!" Kaoru finally blew up. "Then you say we're brothers?"

"First we were talking about feelings, now we're talking about blood."

Kaoru began crying, "I don't want Hikaru to be my brother. I want you to be my brother!"

Tamaki sighed and held Kaoru in a hug and whispered, "As far as anyone else besides you, me, and Kyoya, we are brothers, and you're not related to Hikaru at all. It's just a major coincidence to everyone else in the whole world."

"Then it's a major coincidence for me too."

Tamaki didn't understand why Kaoru was getting so upset over this, he thought that Kaoru wanted Hikaru to be his brother? So now that Tamaki was saying the way that it was possible for them to be twin brothers, Kaoru was denying it and hoping it was a joke. Kaoru went through so many mood swings, Tamaki was starting to think he had multiple personalities or something. It did seem likely. Only, Kaoru was completely sane and even intelligent, so it couldn't be possible. Tamaki was confused, Kaoru just seemed to be a case that was nearly close to impossible to solve.

"I don't wanna be Hikaru's brother..." Kaoru yawned.

"Why not?" Tamaki wondered, hoping for an answer.

"I love him."

"Then you should be brothers."

"No, I LOVE him," Kaoru admitted as he fell asleep.

Tamaki sat in total shock. They'd only met again for three days, and Kaoru was already in love with him? Apparently the kid came back fast, but this made things even worse, a whole change of events. Kaoru was in love with Hikaru, and he probably meant it when he said he wanted to marry Hikaru.

He shook his little brother lightly, forcing his eyes open to stare at Tamaki.

"What?" Kaoru groaned.

"What else bugs you about Hikaru?" Tamaki worried.

"He hurts me."

"He hurts you?" This amazed Tamaki, Hikaru would hurt Kaoru? Since when?

"Yup, everytime he touches me," Kaoru admitted. When he was tired, it didn't matter to him if he spilling his innermost thoughts, the thoughts he swore to himself that he'd never let leak, under any circumstances. "It hurts really bad."

"Why does it hurt you when he touches you? Don't you like it?"

"I like it a lot, but he'll never know it. That hurts, I think I love him and I can't tell him," Kaoru explained, now realizing what he was spilling but continued anyway, for he'd gained a whole new respect for Tamaki over the course of the day. "It's really confusing, and my chest hurts. Is that love?"

Tamaki smiled, "I thought you were smart?"

"I've never known love. When you're like me, love seems out of your reach. Love is for good people, and I'm bad, so I can't tell Hikaru because he's a good person, and I'm a bad person. The pain I receive from not telling him is my punishment for all I've done here so far. It's the worst punishment of all, and I deserve it," Kaoru explained in the twisted, complicated way he was taught when he was growing up. Apparently, Kaoru was taught never to talk back, almost like he was taught that he was of an inferior race, like he should do everything he can to help others, but he should never do anything to help himself because it was selfish. His brother was in so much pain, and Kaoru embraced it... as a punishment! What kind of sick and twisted person could ever do this to his little brother? Tamaki supposed that lots of people taught this to Kaoru and that's why it dug so deeply into his conciousness. For over ten years Kaoru was treated like he was nothing, and it seemed that Kaoru believed it.

"You're a good person," Tamaki tried to explain.

"Nope, I'm a bad person. You're a good person, you're all good people, that's why you're weird, you don't hurt me. You guys need to be retaught the lessons, though I don't mind not being hit all the time, I'd prefer physical pain to emotional pain. Maybe if Hikaru acted like a good person should I wouldn't be in love with him," Kaoru tried to explain and thought it out himself and smiled. "Yup, that's how it goes."

"You're upset that you love Hikaru?"

"It hurts."

Tamaki frowned and scooped his brother up and started walking back to Hikaru's house, for he knew Hikaru would have trouble sleeping. Kaoru couldn't sleep the other night and was crying and sobbing in his room and hid under the bed whenever someone came in and opened the door. Kaoru was better of with Hikaru, because Kaoru was in love with him, that make Tamaki rethink what he was doing. Was it really good to let Kaoru stay with the person he was in love with? Wouldn't that make the love more deep and painful? Shouldn't Kaoru learn to sleep alone? Tamaki didn't know, but what he was sure of was that the twins needed eachother, even if they refused to believe it. If they weren't going to do anything about it, Tamaki was going to make them realize it. He was determined to make Kaoru realize that he WAS in fact, a good person. He wanted to make Hikaru realize all that Kaoru'd gone through.

Even so, Tamaki knew he was only one person, and trying to change Kaoru was going to be difficult. Hikaru's part wouldn't be hard, but Kaoru's would be. Kaoru had grown up thinking he was useless and only made for other people's purposes, would Tamaki really be able to make Kaoru see how important he was? Or was Kaoru already beyond saving? Immediatly, Tamaki knew he'd need help if he wanted to change Kaoru, and he'd require the Host Club. After all, the Host Club was made to entertain women, and to help lovers. Wasn't this one love that needed the biggest nudge? Tamaki thought so, and he was determined to make them both realize how they felt. Even if it meant breaking the two down to what was left of them.

"Kaoru!" Hikaru chimed as he opened the door. "You're okay!"

Kaoru nodded and walked up to Hikaru and smiled, a clot in his throat. Hikaru was so happy and explaining to Tamaki that he heard about the fight from some kids who were spying on them and they had said that Tamaki saved Kaoru. After school, Hikaru called Tamaki's house, but Tamaki and Kaoru weren't there, so he was extremely worried about the two. Tamaki laughed and replied, "We were having some brotherly time."

Hikaru nodded, smiled and patted Kaoru on the head, making Kaoru wince, but he didn't resist the touch.

"You tired?" Hikaru asked, worried about his little twin.

Kaoru nodded and leaned to Tamaki and asked him a question so quiet, that even Tamaki had some trouble hearing it, "So, if we were actually twins, then which one of us would be the elder twin?"

"Hikaru," Tamaki replied.

Kaoru nodded and turned back to Hikaru and smiled. Hikaru cocked his head confused, but nodded, and scooped Kaoru up and carried him up to their room. The moment Hikaru layed down next to him, the lights off and the door shut, Kaoru cuddled up to Hikaru and began to fall asleep. Hikaru couldn't help but think it was absolutely adorable, but tried to let himself get carried away.

"Hey, Kaoru?"

"Yes, Hikaru?"

"I love you."

Kaoru sighed and buried his head and teared up a bit and he squeaked, "I love you too."


	5. Scares

Hikaru had woken up before Kaoru and just sat there, mesmerized at how calm and smooth his face was when he was sleeping. He remembered somewhere that this looked a lot like the dreaming stage of sleep, and it was severely hard to wake someone up when they were in this stage. Hikaru decided to test this theory and his thoughts, but he also wanted to see if he felt "anything" for this "child".

So he leaned in closer and placed his lips upon Kaoru's, and he found himself wanting more of his lips and he blushed and pulled away when he felt Kaoru's lips move. He held his hands over his mouth as he sat, horrified, staring at Kaoru as he laughed and sat up.

"What, thought I was asleep?" Kaoru asked, utterly amused. "As if."

Hikaru was flushed severely and he shook his finger at Kaoru and scowled, "That wasn't funny, Kaoru. That was downright wrong."

"And so is kissing a guy," Kaoru continued Hikaru's scowl and moved closer to him and smiled and nuzzled up to Hikaru. "Who could be your twin?"

"You couldn't be my twin."

"I could. I could."

"Look! I just wanted to see if I felt anything!" Hikaru growled.

"Did you?" Kaoru questioned, a smile finally tugging at his lips enough to appear.

Hikaru shook his head and glared into Kaoru's eyes. "Not a single thing. Except disgust."

Kaoru frowned and nodded his head.

"Of course."

Before Hikaru could say anymore, Kaoru got up and pulled on his shoes and started out of the room. Hikaru was tempted and finally, he ran after Kaoru to see where he was going. Hikaru shouted, "Hey, where are you going?"

"Home."

Hikaru sighed and nodded his head as he watched Kaoru leave and he slumped onto the steps, watching Kaoru walk out of the door and away from his house. Away from the place where Kaoru was most welcome, and the place where he'd stay with Kaoru forever.

"Why can't I stop thinking about him? It's nasty," Hikaru scowled and stuck out his tongue. "It's just plain nasty."

After about an hour, Hikaru heard a ring and he answered the phone, it now being about seven and time for school.

"Hello?" Hikaru answered.

"Hi, is Kao there?" Tamaki asked.

Hikaru blinked. Tamaki lived just down the street... so where...?

"Isn't he there?" Hikaru asked, trying to keep his panic inside and not let Tamaki hear it.

Tamaki's line went dead for a moment.

"Isn't he there?" Hikaru shouted, no longer able to keep himself under control. "God Dammit Tamaki! If this is a joke I'm ripp-"

"He's not here. I heard somewhere that they'd found a boy drowned and I prayed it wasn't Kao, it didn't sound like... I mean..."

"When did they find him?" Hikaru panicked.

"Two hours ago."

Hikaru settled down and responded, "It's not Kaoru, he left an hour ago. Still, it makes me wonder what's happened to him. He said he was going home, so I figured he went to see you since you guys are family."

Tamaki sighed in relief and he responded, "Kao's never lived here, so he wouldn't be here."

"Where's Kaoru?" Hikaru spazzed and he sat on the floor against the wall.

"You spazz out quickly, " Tamaki laughed.

Hikaru hadn't been able to keep his mind off of Kaoru, and the whole hour he was thinking about what could've happened to Kaoru instead of ending up at Tamaki's house, and now that Kaoru wasn't there, his mind had wandered again and he was freaking out as he thought that some of them could possibly be true. Hikaru didn't want Kaoru kidnapped, he didn't want Kaoru drowned, he didn't want Kaoru raped. He took deep breaths as Tamaki instructed and tried to think straight as a letter came through his mail chute. Hikaru crawled over and picked a letter up and took it all back with him as he talked to Tamaki again on the phone.

"Hikaru? What happened?" Tamaki asked.

"I dunno, a letter just popped through the mail slot, so I picked it up, " Hikaru answered.

"What is it?"

"I dunno."

Hikaru slowly tore it open since it had no stamp or addresses on it.

* * *

_Dear Hitachiins,_

_I have your brother and son. I require the second son as well if you want the first to live. If you want the first back without handing the second over, you'll have to pay me $20 million. I don't think even you have that much to spare. If the second boy or the money isn't in my grasp my this evening, I will slice his throat. Maybe even hang him if you will, wouldn't that be nice? To have his head on a platter? Yes, I think you'd enjoy that soveugneir very much, wouldn't you?_

_If you call the cops on me, I will kill him when they look. Without a second thought. Even if the police aren't told by you, I will kill him if they come anywhere close. So I suspect you'd bring the money before the police find out, no?_

_Yours Truly,_

_ASDF_

_P.S. They were the first letters I thought of._

* * *

Hikaru didn't know if he should be terrified, or utterly disgusted by this person and the way he wrote. Hikaru found a map attached to the back of the letter and it showed the mall. Hikaru sighed and read the letter to Tamaki and Tamaki sighed. 

"I think we could come up with $20 million, don't you?" Tamaki responded nervously.

"I don't know, but I can't wait for you all to come up with $20 million by this afternoon. What if the police find him?" Hikaru worried and found himself worrying more and more as he thought about all the things that could happen to Kaoru while he was waiting and Hikaru dropped the phone and ran out of the house and towards the mall.

"Hikaru? Hikaru!" Tamaki shouted. "You idiot!"

Hikaru dashed and tripped, not thinking about what he was doing. He figured people did stupid things a lot, and he was one of those stupider people, so he acted before thinking. The only thing running through Hikaru's mind was those lips however, and how he wasn't going to let anyone touch them. Not to hurt them, and not to abuse them. All he knew was that he had to get Kaoru back, because he couldn't deny it, when he kissed him, he felt something, and if Kaoru was still asleep or didn't move, Hikaru would've probably kissed him longer. He just couldn't deny it, there was something about that boy that made his adrenaline rush, and he wasn't about to let anything bad happen to him. He promised he'd be there.

He promised to be there for Kaoru, and what kind of person would he be if he didn't stay true to what he said?

"Kaoru!" Hikaru shouted as he dashed towards the mall and collapsed on a bench, he sighed and tried to calm his breathing. "Karou, where are you? Kaoru?"

"Hikaru?" Kaoru asked as he poked Hikaru in the ribs. "What are you doing here? I was waiting here to see what time it was so I could head off to school or ask for directions. I got lost. Why are you here?"

"I..." Hikaru started and blinked. What was going on? Kaoru was supposed to be kidnapped, so why was he alone? "I thought you were kidnapped, I got a letter that-"

Hikaru's face went pale as he figured out he was treated for an idiot.

"Kidnapped?" Kaoru asked, curious. "I don't understand, I'm jus-"

A voice interrupted the two, "I thought that'd get you here."

"Kyoya-kun?" Hikaru asked as he turned around.

"Mmm, you told Tamaki didn't you? I already told him on cellphone, don't worry about him getting upset over this, I also mailed another message to say it was just a joke to your parents. You're so gullible Hikaru-kun," Kyoya hissed, a laugh escaping his throat.

"Kyoya said he'd bring me to school if I stayed with him," Kaoru explained.

"Why'd you do that?" Hikaru shouted.

"To scare you, why else?" Kyoya laughed. "I wanted to see if you really cared. Kaoru agreed to the whole thing."

Hikaru took glances between the two and stuttered, "Where'd the honorifics go to?"

"We don't need them," Kyoya and Kaoru answered at the same time. "We got to know eachother in the past hour or two we've been together."

Kyoya added, "Now we better get to school before that criminal finds us."

Hikaru and Kaoru nodded, and they walked to school, hand in hand and into class 1-A.

"Kaoru-kun, this isn't your classroom," The teacher scowled until Kyoya walked in bethind them and handed a file to the teacher and smiled. "W-what is this? Kaoru's allowed to be in this classroom? But he's a C classman... he's the brother of the son of the chairman? How does that work?"

The teacher stared at Hikaru and then at Kaoru, wondering how these two could be so identical in every way and not be related. Of course, Kyoya never told Hikaru or anyone else about his research that he'd done, he'd cleared it up a bit more with Kaoru that morning, and Kaoru found no way possible for him and Hikaru NOT to be related, and that hurt Kaoru deeply. He couldn't keep his mind off of him, off his lips, off his eyes, off his body and the way he treated him. Oh yes, the way Hikaru treated him absolutely set his face ablaze and he couldn't get over it. The way he embraced him, the way he rejected him, it just made Kaoru that much more intoxicated with him. Kaoru couldn't help but feel... something... for the man. For the boy, rather. It didn't matter to Kaoru anymore, he'd never wanted anything this badly. He never wanted a normal family this badly. He couldn't keep focused with Hikaru next to him. His heart just pounded and his face wanted to burn out but he refused to let himself get out of control.

Kaoru rested his hand on Hikaru's and hoped that would be enough. Only, it wasn't. He thought about that kiss that Hikaru gave him and it was so hard to just keep his hand there, he wanted to kiss those lips again, those poisonous lips. Those lips of his identical twin brother who had no idea they were related at all. If Kyoya knew about this though, why wouldn't anyone else in the world know?

So Kaoru suffered throughout the day as Hikaru laughed, joked, and flirted with Haruhi. It severely annoyed him, but he wasn't about to say anything about it, no matter how much he wanted to.

"Hey! Haruhi!" Hikaru called as he ran up to her after school.

"Yeah... hi..." Kaoru greeted as he walked up to the two.

"Oh! Kaoru!" Haruhi smiled and walked up to Kaoru, annoying Hikaru that Haruhi was greeting Kaoru before him. Throughout the day, Hikaru had almost forgotten that someone identical was right next to him. "Hey, what do you think about school?"

Kaoru blushed and looked away and grumbled, "Eh, it's okay I guess. Better than yesterday for sure."

Then she put on this huge smile that made Hikaru burn with jealousy and she grabbed Kaoru's handed and started to drag him off, chiming, "C'mon! You've seen the Host Club once, you'd like it today too, I'm sure. Maybe you could even join it! At first it's annoying and a huge burden, but after a while, it's not all that bad. I'm sure Tamaki-sempai would let you join the Club, since you're his brother. If he denies your act with Hikaru, I could get Sempai to change his mind, he likes me or something."

Kaoru blinked. So his older "brother" liked her, too? Was Kaoru ever gonna get away from this demon?

"Sempai! Can Kaoru join the Host Club?" Haruhi asked as she walked in, still hand in hand with Kaoru. "Please? I think it'd be good quality time for him and Hikaru. Don't you think so too? You could even hang out with him."

Tamaki blinked and scowled. "No, he can't join."

Kaoru gave a sigh of relief; he didn't want to join this said club. It sounded boring, annoying, and he'd have to see them oogling over Haruhi. He couldn't stand her.

"Well, I'm gone," Kaoru snapped, pulling his hand away from Haruhi. "Good bye... whatsername."

Haruhi stared at Kaoru as he stormed off and blinked. Her "girl" instincts or something FINALLY kicked in and she ran off after him in worry. She shouted, "Hey! Kaoru! Did I do something wrong? Stop and talk to me about it, I don't want you to be mad at me. Really Kaoru, I want to be friends with you."

Kaoru stopped and glared at her.

"If you want me to stop being mad at you then... just... get out of my life, okay?" Kaoru sighed.

She didn't do so, instead, she walked up and gave Kaoru a hug, something that was totally out of her character. A huge blush spread across the boys face and he tried to struggle, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to struggle. He'd forgotten this was a girl in only seeing her at school in the male uniform, and hte sudden rememberance that she was infact a she, not a he, made Kaoru feel that much more horrible for running off. The arms retreated and the girl had a slight blush.

"I tripped..."

Kaoru laughed and hugged her, which was out of his character as well. Haruhi just blinked and slowly put her arms around him, uncertainly.

"That's why you can't join the Host Club!" Tamaki shouted as he walked down the hallway into them. "I won't let you try to take Haruhi away from all of us! Do you understand Kaoru?"

"Sempai, you're an idiot," Haruhi scolded as she let go of Kaoru.

"Where's Hikaru?" Kaoru asked.

"He ran off somewhere, he's mad about _something, _I guess," Tamaki scowled and shrugged it off. "That doesn't matter, why were you sexually harassing my daughter? That's not right, Kaoru!"

"Daughter?" Kaoru and Haruhi asked, not sure if they wanted to know.

"Why yes, because dau-" Tamaki started but Kaoru blanked the rest out.

He hated the Host Club, and he didn't want to join.

Instead he went to the park and curled up onto a bench. And cried.

Kaoru actually found himself beginning to miss his old life. Everything was simple then. Do what your supposed, not get caught doing something your not supposed to do, and then you don't get hurt. That's the way everything worked. That's how things were supposed to work.

"I hate this place," Kaoru scowled and sobbed. "I hate the people, too."

He rubbed his eyes and tried to calm down. Now, he didn't hate all of this, he loved Hikaru, right? No, Kaoru hated everything. He hated how he loved _him_, he hated how _he_ loved Haruhi, he hated how he loved Tamaki, but Tamaki loved Haruhi. Kaoru just hated this PLACE. He wanted to get out, maybe go find his driver and they'd drop him off in a desert somewhere. Kaoru couldn't handle life the right way, it all hurt way too much. It was like telling a child to go to highschool, only this time, no one cares.

"What's this?" A voice asked and a couple different voices laughed behind Kaoru.

Kaoru didn't care, he just curled up a little more.

"Excuse me? Are you listening to me?" The voice asked again, more vicious this time. Kaoru didn't look, he didn't care. This was obviously a good person, and Kaoru blanked out good people, he was even going to blank out Tamaki and Hikaru. Good people needed to be blanked out, they were arrogant, inconsiderate, and hurt. Hurt really bad. "Hey, idiot, are you listening to me?"

A foot pressed up against the back of Kaoru's head and he just leaned forward under the pressure.

"Go away," Kaoru scowled.

'"But you were crying," A girl voice said. "That's why we came over, I wanted to see if there was anything we could do to help you."

He had also learned in his lifetime that females were the worst. They could truly have your best intentions in mind, and totally destroy you on accident. Kaoru didn't trust people, and he wasn't about to now either, especially not because of the voice of a vixen.

"There's nothing, now go away," Kaoru snapped again and went forward a little bit more so the person had to withdraw their foot. Kaoru's stomach and intestines hurt from leaning forward so far, but it didn't matter to him. It was all gonna hurt anyway. Physical pain is better than emotional pain.

Suddenly, he regretted ever coming back, and most of all, talking to Tamaki about everything.

Two soft hands wrapped around Kaoru's stomach and pulled him back so that the pain in his stomach ceased and he stared up at a punk girl. She just had blue eyes and pink, layered hair. Kaoru blinked, he'd never seen one of these people before. She had black leather gloves with frayed edges at where the fingerholes were, and she had a black tank top and blue jeans. Only, she didn't wear any lipstick, and she didn't seem mean. Was this the one that the soft voice came from? For some reason, she reminded Kaoru more of a cat than an evil female fox that tried to kill you. None-the-less, curiousity had killed the cat, and Kaoru wasn't going with any cat.

"What's wrong, hun?" She asked, her eyes showing serious concern. Kaoru couldn't believe this.

"Why do you care?" Kaoru scowled.

"Well, I thought you reminded me of Hikaru, so we came over to annoy you, but then I noticed the voice a bit, sure it's a bit higher and such, but I still remembered it. So I'm just wondering... are you by any chance... Kaoru?"

Kaoru blinked and replied, "Yes, I am. How do you know me?"

"We used to hang out together when Hikaru-kun wasn't paying attention, he didn't like me."

"Lisa! You're parents loved America and named you in English!" Kaoru suddenly exclaimed.

"Yeah!"

She smiled and Kaoru blushed.

"You got pretty," Kaoru replied. "Prettier than before. I don't know how that's possible though."

She smiled a little bigger and a blush crept onto her face and she let go.

"Well, you got handsome, wanna talk about it? I can get these guys to leave if you want," Lisa suggested.

Kaoru stopped, but nodded after a while of thought. He didn't really like being alone, and Lisa had a dysfunctional family from what he remembered. Her dad was cruel and abused her verbally, physically, and sexually.

"So, your mom divorce?" Kaoru asked as they both sat alone on the bench.

Lisa sighed and nodded, "Yup, and I haven't seen daddy since, she did it after you moved away, because that's what she first noticed it. So, how was going off and starting a new life? You seemed pretty into it."

Kaoru frowned. "I did?"

"Yeah, wasn't it great?"

"No," Kaoru admitted. "It sucked. I got abused by every dumb family, and if they didn't abuse me something was wrong and they had to send me back. I don't know, I feel like going homicidal any minute, you know what I mean?"

Lisa sighed and replied, "Yeah, I do kind of. You'd never do it though, you're way too nice Kaoru."

Kaoru smiled and blushed a bit.

"So, why were you crying?"

"Hikaru and Tamaki," Kaoru replied, refusing to look her in the eyes, instead staring at his feet.

"You're not calling him twin anymore? You're not calling Tamaki-kun big brother anymore either? What happened, buddy?" Lisa asked, concerned. This made Kaoru smile, because for a moment, he actually thought that people were okay. Of course, this changed when he remembered that she was a bad person too, and bad people had to stick together if they wanted to get through anything. Bad people didn't look up to good people for help.

"He IS my twin, literally. Tamaki is my big brother but... I don't know," Kaoru sighed and pulled his feet up on the bench and held his legs close to him, causing the pain in his stomach to come back. "I think I love him, Hikaru. He doesn't love me though, he loves this crossdressing girl at my school. Big brother loves her too, it's really irritating, she doesn't like either of them, and she seems kind of attached to me. I guess, I can't really tell anything with her. She's so... pure."

Lisa blinked. "You LOVE Hikaru-kun?"

Kaoru nodded. "A lot..."

Then he started crying again, and she had to try to comfort him.

"Kaoru, I gotta go, we're moving though, so I don't think we'll see again," Lisa had to go and tried to explain as best as she could. "We're leaving today, and I guess mom's upset and wants to go NOW, you know how parents are, right?"

Kaoru nodded and he whimpered.

"We could adopt you!" Lisa thought.

He shook his head and stared at her for a while.

"It's good to see you again, I'm happy things are working out for you," Kaoru replied, his lips trembling with the tears in eyes.

"I just wish you were happy like you used to be," Lisa sighed. "Well, see you."

Kaoru jumped up and hugged her.

Her hands rested on his back and she replied, "Wow. Well, see ya then."

"Or not."

"Yeah, or not, oh, here's my cellphone number, can I have yours?" Lisa replied as she gave Kaoru a piece of paper after she pulled away.

Kaoru wrote his down and handed it back to her, she'd given him a piece of paper. Lisa was a drawer, and she always had a pen and paper on her.

"Bye!" Kaoru called as she left his sight. He frowned and sat on the bench again, curled up again. "Bye..."

* * *

"Where's Kaoru?" Hikaru asked as he walked into the Host Club room. 

"I thought he went off to find you," Tamaki scowled. "That little thing, he hugged Haruhi."

Hikaru blinked and frowned. "You mean you don't know where Kaoru is? How long ago did he leave?"

"About an hour ago, why?" Tamaki asked, looking like he was cleaning his fingernails. "He left before Club, and it's after Club now."

"You do know they never caught that murderer," Kyoya chimed in. "My private police force tried as hard as they could, but they couldn't exactly do it. So, I guess you could say Kaoru's life is at risk right now if we don't know where he is."

"Find him!" Tamaki demanded as he shot up, but he didn't have to tell Hikaru, he was already 3/4 down the hallway and then he was out the door. Tamaki started out just as quickly and Haruhi followed behind with Hunny and Mori. Kyoya just raised his eyebrow and called someone on his cellphone.

"Yes, there's a boy missing as well, tell me if you see him, he has orangish red hair and golden eyes. He's been abused, so if you see him, don't be too rough," Kyoya reported. "Thank you, find him as quickly as possible. He's been missing for an hour so far, he does go to my school so he should be in the male uniform. Thanks again."

He hung up and started out as well, not worried at all.

It's not like he actually _cared_ about Kaoru. Just because he knew him didn't mean anything.

Kaoru was just a pawn.

They were all just pawns.

Kyoya just needed close "friends" that were children of great buisiness company owners. Of course, then why did Kyoya do all these insane things with them?

That was something Kyoya refused to explain. Once he realized he was alone outside of school, he began running and searching for the kid. He would never explain it to anyone in his whole life. Why would he? He might admit that he actually cared about these people that "forced" him to do all this crap every day. Of course, Kyoya felt a bit connected to the little red head who secretly hurt underneath the smile he plastered on for everyone, Kyoya saw past that. He was the first one to notice it and Kaoru admitted that he wasn't happy to him, he was the first one. Somehow, there was something about the child that was enchanting to Kyoya. So he continued running, hoping to find the red head before anything bad happened to him, trying to find his _son _before anything bad could happen to him.

"Kaoru!" Kyoya called as he ran next to the mall and he collapsed over out of breath. "What... has... gotten into me?"

Something caught Kyoya's eye next to a bench off in the distance. It was only a bracelet though, and some paper was with it. It was a punk bracelet of course, with a phone number, and not caring about what was going on because of the situation, he dialed the number.

"Yo, Kaoru?" Someone answered on the other side.

Kyoya blinked. This was someone who knew Kaoru.

"Yes, ma'am, how long ago was it that you talked to Kaoru?" Kyoya asked, not caring to introduce himself.

"About twelve, why? Who is? Why are you calling my number? I've only given Kaoru my new phone number," The girl continued.

"What's your name?"

"Lisa, why?"

"Thank you."

"Wh-"

Kyoya hung up his phone and stuffed the bracelet and number into his pocket and began looking over the bench. Kaoru was on here less than twelve minutes ago, so what happened? Why wasn't he here now? Why was he here in the first place, talking to a punk girl named Lisa? Then Kyoya remembered his research and Lisa was the name of one of Kaoru's childhood friends, so Kyoya felt a little better, but then horrible again.

Kaoru wouldn't just ditch a number of a friend, he'd have stuck it in his pocket and then left. So... where was he?

"Kaoru!" Kyoya called. "Where are you, kid?"

* * *

Kaoru groaned as he sat against the tree, trying to breath. It was horrible, he saw someone who looked like they could be a murderer, so Kaoru ditched his phone number for Lisa, and right now he really wanted someone's help. 

"...Kaoru...!" Kaoru heard someone call. Who was that?

Ootori Kyoya? Why would he...?

"Wait, if he's around here, that guy might find him," Kaoru realized and turned around and ran as fast as he could back to the bench, only to run into a skinny man in a long black coat. They laughed and turned around and grabbed Kaoru by the shoulders.

"There you are," He laughed.

Kaoru's face went white. Who was this person?

Oh yes, it was his second dad who was back there in Japan and got arrested for attempted murder on Kaoru.

"Oh no..." Kaoru whispered. "It's you."

"Oh yes, it's me," He laughed.

Kaoru struggled and tried to think of the first thing to do.

"KYOYA!" Kaoru shouted. "Kyoya! Help me!"

The moment he opened his mouth, a gun was in front of him, pointed straight at his mouth.

"I dare you to scream again," The man in black laughed.

Kaoru blinked and frowned. He had remembered now, the person who was drowned that morning was a redhead, a redhead. Kaoru also remembered that this man had swore that he'd kill Kaoru, and that he'd never give up on that. He'd get out of jail and find him somehow. Kaoru blinked back the tears he longed to cry. He'd gone soft since he came here, and he was going to act like he used to. That's how he'd live.

"Sorry, daddy," Kaoru whispered.

The man fell to the side and Kyoya stood before Kaoru with his hand out.

"Come on, let's go," Kyoya huffed.

Kaoru looked at the man on the ground then at Kyoya and nodded.

Kyoya grabbed Kaoru's hand and they started to run off, but two guns came around the boys throats, one for each, and the barrel was pointed up towards the skull of each. Kaoru gulped and Kyoya didn't know what to do, but they both stopped.

This was why Kyoya didn't have friends.

It was the same for Kaoru.

Friends get you in trouble.

"Well, I didn't plan to get an Ootori kid, but this will do just as well, maybe I'll kill him along with you, hmm son?"

Kaoru gulped. "Sorry daddy."

"Sorry doesn't cut it, but don't worry, you don't have to cut it anymore," Kaoru's old dad's voice laughed and the gun on Kaoru withdrew, but Kaoru still stood deathly still in fear for Kyoya. A pain ran down Kaoru's arm and things started to go a bit blurry and he noticed red out of the corner of his eye.

"I'll cut it for you."

* * *

**Note: I know, I know, it's a cheesy ending to this chapter.**


	6. Blank

**Note: This is my shortest one. Forgive me. I'm going to be leaving tomorrow morning first thing, so I'll try to get a new chapter up, but if it's not up tonight, it'll be up Monday. I gotta go to my Great Grandma's. Ja ne**

* * *

Kaoru didn't know what to do, so he did the first thing he thought of.

Nothing.

The boy just stood there and kept himself concious, fully aware of the pain in his arm, in his joints, in that blood slowly oozing down him. Kaoru took it, afraid to pass out in fear of Kyoya.

"Let him go," Kaoru whispered. "Kyoya never did anything bad, so he doesn't have to get in trouble."

"You know his name?" The man laughed. "Then he must your friend?"

Kaoru gulped and nodded, still refusing to move.

"Then he won't go, not if he knows you."

"But he doesn't like me."

The man tugged on Kaoru's hair, pulling him backwards and past the man and on to the ground.

"Likely story," He huffed.

"What's your name?" Kyoya finally spoke up. "It'd be nice to know the name of the man about to take my life, don't you think?"

"Ozen Kamimoto," The man replied, gruffly. **((Random name generator. shrugs ...What can I say?))**

Kyoya nodded as he felt the cold metal of the gun barrel against his throat, and he was trying to think of what he could do to get these two of the situation. Unfortunately, Kyoya coudn't think of anything to do with a gun at his skull and a foot on the other boys stomach. Kaoru kept his mouth shut and the screams silent and only in his mind as the foot pushed down harder on Kaoru's stomach and he clenched his teeth, and he longed to cry out in despair. He didn't want to get hurt any farther though, so he didn't react at all.

"Hikaru..." Kaoru whispered and he struggled a bit under the foot. "Hikaru..."

"What are you mumbling now?" Kamimoto snapped as stepped down harder on Kaoru's stomach making him shriek, but he didn't continue until after the man had returned his attention to Kyoya, to make sure he didn't try anything funny when he wasn't looking. Kaoru repeated Hikaru's name, praying Hikaru would find him. Kaoru never did this before, to him it was just him, and them. You never looked to one of them for help, so this was a stretch to be praying for someone you saw as them to help you. "Tell me you tricky little bastard, who the hell do you keep calling for? Tell me and I won't hurt you."

He blinked as he stared off into the distance. Then he countered, "You're going to hurt me anyway, you're mad at me for not listening to you, and for whining too much. I suppose you also know who my real parents and you despise them, so you want to kill me, is that it?"

"So I have a grudge against your parents, but I have a grudge against you too, don't you know twins are the work of the devil?"

Kaoru blinked and thought, so this man knew that Kaoru had a twin, but did he think Hikaru was dead? Or did was he going to go find Hikaru after Kaoru was killed and done with? Just the thought of it infuriated Kaoru and he grabbed the foot and threw it off, and he stood up and grabbed Kyoya and pulled him away from the man and they started to dash off and Kaoru tripped a couple times and finally planted face down in the dirt, his hand almost stabbed through a stick. **((Uh oh, I'm going to punished now. I'm torturing and hurting Kaoru... Poor Kaoru.))**

Kaoru didn't cry or anything, and Kyoya didn't notice Kaoru was gone until he noticed there wasn't a tug on his hand anymore, so he turned around to stare at Kaoru trying to get up, a twig jutting out of his palm and a constant mutter of, "Ow, ow."

"Kaoru!" Kyoya shouted as he dashed back and dragged Kaoru along with him. This baffled him even as he did it, this was something completely out of his character, so why was he doing it? Why should it matter to him if someone else got stepped on if it didn't profit him to save them? Saving Kaoru gave the Ootori boy no profit at all, and he wasn't doing it for the profit either, so now Kyoya had to think up something to say it was for. For the hero rank he'd get when everyone found out he saved a child? No, that wasn't it, lots of people would rather have Kaoru dead, for he was a twin.

It was the reason he was disowned in the first place.

It's the reason he was seperated from Hikaru.

They were twins.

There was something about society those days about twins. To them all, twins were too close, and the cause of them to be two people, it meant they were dangerous. Or they were lovers in past lives and couldn't be together. Or they were the perfect one being and... and... by the killing of one the other would become whole? None if it made sense to Kyoya, it was a bunch of mumbo jumbo, and no one in the Ouran Academy cared either. It didn't matter to them that they were twins. They didn't know they were twins.

If they found out, then how would they be treated?

Kyoya decided it'd be better if no one found out that the twins were in fact twins. It would be better if Hikaru didn't know either, it'd be better if they were thought of as... dopplergangers if you will. Or it could've been just a whole freak accident. Yes, a freak accident. They looked alike for no reason.

I mean, how was Kyoya to be positive that these two were actually twins and there wasn't some other way?

Well, it was in hospital records...

Kyoya had to face it, he couldn't find any excuse for his actions, and he couldn't figure out any other way that the two could know eachother or be exactly alike. It just wasn't possible. That's what worried Kyoya, Kaoru might be taken away, or something or another.

He had to face one thing as well, Kaoru would never meet his original parents, for they denied ever having contact with the children and then suddenly... boom... they dissapeared. No one knew what happened to them. No one had a clue in the world what happened to the Hitachiin family's youngest heirs. So, it was given over to two very talented and growing young families, and each was given a twin. Of course, they couldn't allow two Hitachiin heirs, someone would figure out. So they were murdered?

Even Kyoya found that cruel.

Of course, Kaoru was supposed to killed along with the parents, and Tamaki wasn't supposed to be one of the families sons, and Tamaki wasn't supposed to have been the one in the house protecting Kaoru, Tamaki wasn't the one who was supposed to have gone and told someone about his parents. It made the affair most unclean, and it was supposed to go without a trace. To believe that the presence of a French-Japanese child altered a whole plan set down.

Finally, the two boys emerged back in the park, where the Host Club stood, relieved at the sight of Kyoya carrying Kaoru on his back, Kaoru's arm bleeding and his stomach bruised, and his hand cut open in the middle of the palm with some mud and bark left over. Before anyone could ask any questions, he walked past all of them and set Kaoru down on a bench and breathed a sigh of relief as he pulled out his cellphone.

"H-hello?" Kyoya greeted the person who answered. "Yes, it's me, the third Ootori son. The man's name is Ozen Kamimoto. Got that? He's supposed to be in jail, but he broke out, he was last seen around the park about... oh, I don't know, five minutes ago? Hold on..."

Kyoya put his hand over the phone speaker and put it down and looked at Kaoru who sat next to him.

"What is about five minutes ago?" Kyoya asked.

Kaoru shook his head, "About three."

"About three minutes ago," Kyoya reported. "Thank you. Yes, goodbye."

Kyoya hung up his phone and glared at Kaoru. He snapped, "I want all the information you have on that man."

No one spoke, they all just stared at the young red head who somehow shared Hikaru's features and at the man Kaoru and Hikaru had nicknamed the "Shadow King".

"He was my second father after my first step mother died, and he never talked to me, and he never fed me. He always called me the child of the devil and there was something wrong with me. So I was never fed, I couldn't sleep in a bed, always on the floor, and then one night, he tried to kill me, and I screamed. I was taught to never scream," Kaoru explained. "Then the neighbors called the cops and they caught him after he tried to strangle me."

Kyoya nodded. "Did he say anything?"

"He said he'd get me," Kaoru finished, rocking back and forth with his hands on his knees, much like a carefree child telling a police officer about something serious. "That's all I really remember, I think I was still in kindergarten back then."

The other boy with glasses sighed and shook his head in confusion. He didn't quite understand this arrangement. Weren't twins good luck in some cultures?

"What I don't understand is this whole arrangement. Does he think you're the evil twin or something?" Kyoya wondered.

Hikaru raised an eyebrow and was about to asked something before Tamaki interrupted with, "Ahem, Kyoya! I'd like to point out that Hikaru and Kao are NOT twins, remember? Maybe this guy just THINKS they're twins?"

"Shut up," Kyoya snapped. "If you don't like my thinking then leave. I need to talk to Kaoru anyway, not like I need you. Okay, now, Kaoru. Think about it, since you'd seem to be younger than Hikaru, do you think it could be percieved that since you can't stay with a family you might be... evil? Perhaps twins have a bad reputation around Tokyo or in the Hitachiin family? Well, what do you think?"

Tamaki was completely taken back, his best friend only met Kaoru and already Tamaki was being ignored for Kaoru.

"Hmmm, maybe the Hitachiin family name has looked at the bad folklore and..." Kaoru stopped and stared at the onlooking eyes. "Kyoya, do you think we should talk in private about this?"

"No time, who knows when he'll come back, now listen to me-"

"My arm hurts."

"Kaoru would you-"

"My arm hurts."

"Kaoru!" Kyoya shouted. "This isn't funny, alright? We can get you to a doctor in awhile, I just need to figure out what's going on!"

"Okay, but my arm hurts, REALLY badly, I think he hit the bone," Kaoru complained.

"Who?" Hikaru finally spit out the question that the whole watching group were thinking.

"Daddy," Kaoru answered.

"Not his birth one, but one of them," Kyoya replied, waving his hand at them. "Shoo."

"So what you're suggesting is that the Hitachiins had a thing against twins which is what called for the abandonment?" Kaoru asked, not going for clarification for the others. Kyoya nodded. "Then this man knows this and he's out to kill me, or perhaps he just knows that there's another out there with my face and so he thinks I'm a dopplerganger, or an evil twin so he's trying to murder me because of it?"

"That's what I think," Kyoya confirmed. "Doesn't it make sense when you patch it all together?"

"It does!" Kaoru exclaimed and leaned forward a bit. "Then isn't it possible that that's the reason why I've been beaten my whole entire life? Because they knew of the Hitachiins and their son and they were agrivated at the fact that we had the same face?"

"That would explain something, wouldn't it?"

Kaoru nodded along with Kyoya and they both sat silently, thinking and taking care of Kaoru's arm.

"What's going on?" Hikaru asked. "What are you two talking about?"

Kaoru didn't answer, only looked over his wound a little more.

"What's going on?" Hikaru shouted this time.

"Nothing," Kaoru whispered.

Something about the younger boy was starting to irritate Hikaru until he didn't know how much longer he could restrain from slapping him across the face.

_Bang._

A shot rang out and a bullet hole lay only inches away from Kaoru and he stared at the hole like something was going to pop out and yell, "Surprise!" Of course, nothing did, and Kaoru was being idiotic.

"Move," Kyoya snarled and pulled Kaoru towards him and off of the bench.

Kaoru lay on top of Kyoya and before anyone else could say how wrong it was, a bullet shot right beside them.

"Faster aimer," Kyoya sighed and he pushed Kaoru off and began running, everyone else followed.

Except Kaoru.

He was never one to go along with the crowd, and he felt that he should obey the good people. Or the good people would hurt him even worse. If a good adult was suddenly treating a good child like a bad child, then wasn't Kaoru listening to Kyoya bad? Kaoru didn't know, this was against everything he knew.

He sat down on the bench and bent over his knees.

"Kaoru!" Hikaru shouted as he stopped running and turned around.

A man walked out from the trees and stalked over to Kaoru and set his gun down beside Kaoru and grabbed his throat in his hands.

"What have we learned?" He hissed.

"Don't scream."

Hikaru blinked in amazement. What was going on? Was Kaoru really going to listen to a man who just shot two bullets at him? Hikaru had to stick true to his promise and he ran over to them and did one of the karate moves Mori and Hunny had taught him.

The next thing Kaoru knew, his neck was free, a gun was next to him, Kamimoto was on the ground, and Hikaru was a bad person? No, that couldn't be, Hikaru could never be a bad person. Hikaru was too good, then that meant that Kamimoto was never a good person in the beginning, because he had tried to kill Kaoru and good people don't get their hands dirty with murder. They just tortured.

"Hikaru..." Kaoru whispered.

"What, no embrace for hero? Not from his favorite heroine?" Hikaru teased.

"I'm not your heroine, _she _is," Kaoru hissed, and Hikaru felt an extra amount of poison on the pronoun.

"That's a lie," Hikaru replied quietly. "You're the heroine in this story."

Kaoru shook his head and touched the gun and sighed. Kamimoto tried to move and Hikaru pushed his foot onto him and pushed him down into the ground, much like the move the man had used to pin Kaoru to the ground earlier in the day.

Ootori's private police force crowded in, and Kaoru just watched, blankly. He wasn't sure what was going on anymore. He was given a blanket since he felt so cold and was without a jacket and he pulled it tightly around him as he watched. The good people took the bad man away. They forgot someone. They left Kaoru. As the Host Club crowded around some females from school, Kaoru couldn't find himself to say or think anything, even when Hikaru wrapped his arm around him and kissed his forehead.

It all sank in, and he bawled.

"What's wrong, Kaoru-kun?" Some of the females asked.

"Yes, Kaoru-chan, what's wrong?" Hikaru also asked, making sure to use a girly honorific to know how dearly he cared about Kaoru. Only, Kaoru just continued bawling without an explanation. "Kao-chan, what's wrong with you?"

Kaoru pushed his hand away and he curled up into a ball on the couch.

If they took a man away for that.

Would Kaoru die for being a twin?

Hikaru wouldn't, he was a good person, good people weren't killed for something so simple. Kaoru on the other hand, was a bad person, and bad people got killed for multiple reasons, and Kaoru would probably be killed or taken away to be killed. Why were these people being so nice to him? This... this good person was touching him. What was going on? Kaoru settled his face in a position so no one could see it on his knees as he held them against his chest and he wrapped the blanket around him, so it looked a lot like Kaoru was putting himself in a cocoon. He remembered that when he was younger, his mother told him that if anyone tried to hurt him, all he had to do was talk to her and it would all go away. She's always be there. Kaoru also remembered her telling him that people lied a lot, and to ignore them. Blank them out. All that mattered was what she thought of him. So Kaoru was doing just that.

He was blanking them ALL out.


	7. Memories

_"Kaoru? Darling, why are you crying?" A woman with orangish-red hair that looked much like the twins asked._

_Kaoru just looked up at her as he cuddled into a ball in the corner of the bedroom he was in. He opened his mouth and whined, "I don't know what's going on."_

_"Look, mommy's going to leave you for awhile, okay? You've been with mommy's friends for a long time, and I'm going to come back for you, so wait here for me, alright?" The woman continued. Kaoru began bawling and he latched himself onto her leg._

_"Tell them Hika-chan's my brother, tell them, mommy," Kaoru sobbed._

_"Darling, you're not my son anymore, Hikaru's not my son anymore. You can't ever tell anyone I came to visit you, alright? Your father and I... got rid of you awhile ago, we promised you two that we'd come back, and we will. Hikaru's such a blabber mouth though, he says everything," She laughed and bent down and hugged the mini Kaoru. "People will lie to you, and I don't want you to listen to them. They'll say Hikaru's not your brother, they'll say we're dead, they'll say you're evil, but don't listen to them. People lie a lot, and I want you to blank them out for mommy. Blank them all out and they can never hurt you. I'll always be here, and I'll come back for you, okay?"_

_"Okay," Kaoru sobbed. "I'll just blank them all out. All of them, right?"_

_"Right."_

_"You will come back right? Come back for brudda Tama and Hika-chan?" Kaoru asked, rubbing tears away as he tore away from his mother. "And ME. Wight?"_

_The lady nodded her head. "Right, now I have to go, Kaoru."_

_"Mommy!" Kaoru whined as he sat in the corner of the room._

_"Kao-chan? What's wrong?" Tamaki asked as he walked into the room and bent down and sat next to Kaoru, wrapping his arm around Kaoru. "What's wrong wittle brother?"_

_"People are mean," Kaoru explained. "I hate 'em."_

_Then Tamaki wrapped his arms around Kaoru and pulled him close to his chest and he moved his jacket so it covered Kaoru._

_"Tama? Tama?" Kaoru called, crying again._

_"Here. I'm your cocoon," Tamaki laughed._

_"Cowoo?" Kaoru asked._

_Tamaki laughed and hugged his brother. "They can't see us."_

* * *

Kaoru had never forgotten it, and now he sat in the Host Club, hiding himself in his cocoon.

"Kao?" Tamaki asked as he walked over. "What're you doing?"

"I don't know," Hikaru answered and the customers with him shook their heads. "We don't know what's wrong, and he won't talk. He just hides in there and he said it was his cocoon, and that we couldn't come in."

A smile slipped onto Tamaki's lips.

"It's brother Tama," Tamaki whispered. "And I can't find my brother."

Kaoru dropped his blanket and wrapped it around Tamaki's shoulders and pulled Tamaki down onto the couch and he snuggled up to him and sobbed. This was the brother he remembered, who wasn't really his brother. No, he was his brother. His birth mother said she'd take Tamaki with them when she took them away, she'd take Hikaru, Kaoru, and Tamaki.

Tamaki wrapped his arms around his little brother and wrapped the blanket around his arms and hid the two in the blanket.

"What're you two doing?" Hikaru asked.

"You can't see us," Tamaki replied and snuggled closer to Kaoru, and Kaoru sobbed a little harder and kicked his legs.

"Tama! Tama!" Kaoru sobbed. "I'm confused! Mommy said! She said!"

"Mommy?" Tamaki asked. "Kao, mom is dead."

"My mommy!" Kaoru shouted. "Our mommy! She said! She-"

_"...You can't ever tell anyone I came to visit you, alright?..."_

"Nevermind," Kaoru whispered.

With the warmth of his brother, Kaoru began to fall asleep, with everyone's eyes on the two. Kaoru heard all the whispers too, but it didn't matter to him. Tamaki was his cocoon, and no one could see them. No one. They just thought they did, they just wished they did.

Hikaru guessed, abuse finally got to Kaoru.

"Tamaki-sama, what's going on?" One of Tamaki's most precious customers asked as she walked over. "And why are you cuddled up to a riff-raff?"

"You can't see us," Kaoru and Tamaki chimed. "Go away."

Kaoru closed his eyes again and snuggled his brother.

"I love you," Kaoru whispered.

"I love you, too."

Hikaru smiled sadly and he realized, that Kaoru wasn't his. Hikaru let go and allowed Tamaki to be with Kaoru, and now Kaoru wasn't his anymore. Kaoru wouldn't snuggle up to Hikaru in bed anymore, he wouldn't kiss those lips again, and he wouldn't hold that body again. The next thing he knew, he was bawling too. It wasn't his. That beloved thing of his affections, he denied it, he refused to believe it. He thought she was his point of affection, but surely he must have felt it once he met Kaoru? Surely, he did, he could feel something different everytime he looked at Haruhi.

He ignored it though, and now it wasn't his. It couldn't be his. All his anguish and hatred and sadness from when Kaoru left him before, and now that Kaoru was leaving him now, came from him in those deep, long, drawn out sobs. Hikaru looked much like the state Kaoru was in earlier, and Kyoya found himself wondering which twin was actually with Tamaki. Kaoru and Tamaki ignored Hikaru, no matter how hard it was, they both wanted to help him, but this was their cocoon.

Kaoru finally moved and he pulled the blanket with him and Tamaki stared as Kaoru scooted over to Hikaru.

"It's our cocoon," Kaoru explained as he wrapped the blanket around Hikaru and he tried to hide them both in it. "And they can't see us."

Hikaru tried to hold back his tears, because Kaoru was here now. Most of the customers were all gone now, as they felt the tensions rising. The rest of the club huddled around the twins in their little "cocoon" and Tamaki sat staring at them.

"When people are mean, you blank them out," Kaoru explained. "See, it's our cocoon? They're all gone now. It's just us."

Kaoru blushed and snuggled up to Hikaru under the blanket Tamaki place above their heads and he wrapped the first one around them so no one could see the twins. Hikaru gasped and held Kaoru. He was sure of it, he had liked Haruhi for years, but he'd liked Kaoru longer. He'd liked Kaoru since they were children, since they were babies. Kaoru was his, and he didn't want to share him, but he knew he'd have to do with Tamaki. This annoyed him severely.

"What is this?" Haruhi asked once every single customer had left by the shooing of Kyoya.

"Something weird," Kyoya replied, not very interested, but staring none-the-less.

"I taught it to Kao when we were toddlers. I taught him that if anyone bugged him, I'd protect him in our cocoon. It blocks them all out, and it's just us. When we come out, we're happy and safe again, beautiful. We're butterflies then. I don't know, I taught it to Kao once, I don't remember why. It was our tradition though."

Kaoru dropped his and Hikaru's cocoon and he explained, "Some of my parents didn't like me, and they made me cry, and then they got madder. So I hid in my cocoon, because I'm supposed to wait."

"Wait for what?" Kyoya asked, suddenly interested.

Kaoru looked away. "I can't tell."

Kaoru was about to get up, but Hikaru's arms wrapped around his stomach and pulled him back down into his lap, and Hikaru spread out his legs, so Kaoru sat infront of him with Hikaru's legs around him. Kaoru blushed and smiled and he leaned back and started to fall asleep.

"I'm telling you though, she promised me," Kaoru mumbled. "She promised me."

"Who promised you?" Hikaru asked.

"You're a blabber mouth."

Hikaru felt hurt and muttered, "Blabber mouth?"

"Yeah, that's what she told me."

"Who?" Kyoya interrupted, now sitting on the couch next to the two. "Kaoru, tell me, who promised you what?"

"SHE promised to take us back," Kaoru hissed. "All of us. She also made me promise me not to tell, so that's all I can say to you. Good day."

Kyoya blinked and backed away and Kaoru blinked as he turned his gaze to Hikaru, and he felt sad. He wanted him so badly.

"I love you," Hikaru whispered.

A smile immediatly attacked Kaoru face and he replied, "I love you too, Hika-chan."

Hikaru blushed and suddenly he pushed Kaoru off of him and he ran out of the room.

"What's wrong?" Tamaki asked as he walked out of the room.

"He-he's so cute," Hikaru whimpered. "How can you stand Haruhi?"

"You're asking me that?" Tamaki questioned, a bit irritated. "You, the one who calls me a pervert every minute you can? Something's up."

"Wow, you're pretty bright when it has to do with you."

"I'm always bright!"

"Then you'd know what's wrong."

"I have no idea, what's wrong?"7

"I think... I love him," Hikaru admitted.

"I know that, you just told him."

"Idiot! I meant I love as more than that!" Hikaru scowled. "I THINK I do anyway."

Tamaki smiled and whispered, "Well, he-"

"Tama?" Kaoru asked as he opened the door to stare at the two. "WHAT were you about to say?"

Kaoru looked so innocent, but Tamaki couldn't feel more threatened.

"How you feel," Tamaki replied. Suddenly, Kaoru innocence turned into a devil's gaze and he glomped Tamaki and began crying for him not to do it, that he'd die. Tamaki kept trying to shake him off. "What? He loves you! So why can't I tell him?"

"I know he loves me," Kaoru cried.

"More than that!" Tamaki shouted, trying to push his brother off of him. Finally, at those last words, Kaoru peeled off and he stood thinking, a finger to his lips. "Gosh, Kao, honestly. You need to tone down your drama a bit more, don't you think?"

Kaoru looked away and he started to walk.

"Kaoru!" Hikaru called. "Wait!"

He didn't stop, instead he started running out of the building and Tamaki scowled and they all ran after him.

Kaoru... was lost.

Again.

* * *

"Who're you running from?" A dark voice asked.

"My twin brother," Kaoru admitted. "My big brother was going to tell him how I felt, and I thought that if I ran, he wouldn't tell."

The man in the black robe laughed.

"What're you doing in this dark part of the school?"

Kaoru bit his fingernail before replying, "I didn't wanna leave the school, someone was trying to kill me. So, I thought I'd go somewhere Tama hates, so he'd keep looking for me for a long while."

"Don't you think your twin brother might get hurt instead?" The man asked, readjusting the thing that was on his hand.

"I guess."

Kaoru smiled, blushed, and pulled the thing off of the man's hand.

"Don't touch Berenzef!" The man scowled as he tried to grab the cat puppet back.

"Aww, it's adorable," Kaoru squealed and put it on his hand. "Can I get one?"

"Sorry, it's for Black Magic Club members only."

"Join the Host Club and I take over this club, and I get Berenzef. Sound fair?" Kaoru tried to negotiate.

"Mr. Suoh hates me," The man tried to explain.

"What's your name?"

"Nekozawa Umehito."

"Oh yeah, Tama talks about you quite a bit. He's really scared of you, isn't he?" Kaoru laughed and twirled around, still holding the cat puppet.

"How do you know him?"

"Older brother."

Nekozawa blinked and nodded his head solemnly at Berenzef, which was on Kaoru's hand.

"You can take care of my darling Bereznef until you're finally able to tell him how you feel," Nekozawa finally gave in.

"OKAY!" Kaoru shouted and glomped him. This was how Kaoru thanked people, he was just getting his happy state back, and that was when he was a child, so he thought he should act like he did when he was in kindergarten, even then, Kaoru was one of the weird people.

"Y-you're welcome," Nekozawa replied, uncertain to this affection.

"You got a cool cocoon," Kaoru noted as he pulled away. "Can I have one, too?"

"Umm, sure," Nekozawa replied uncertain and gave Kaoru a cloak. Kaoru stuck it on and bounded off, not quite fitting the look he was wearing. Nekozawa scratched his head and whispered to himself. "Wow, what a weird child. Is he Hikaru-kun's brother too?"

* * *

_"Kaoru... what's wrong with you?"_

_"They're gone, your friends, they died," Kaoru whined and cried. "Someone got them."_

_The woman sighed and hugged Kaoru close to her again._

_"I promise, I'll come back for you, please, don't give up on me," She whispered._

_"Give up..." Kaoru whispered. "I already gave up."_

_That was the last time Kaoru ever saw his mother._

* * *

These memories haunted Kaoru daily and he wished he could get rid of them. He hid in his room now, the room he shared with Hikaru. The lights were off and he had Nekozawa's cloak on and he cuddled inside of it next to the bed with Bereznef inside with him. He was sobbing and crying, because he couldn't get those memories out of his head.

The worst memories were of his life as an abused child, and those were the strongest.

"Kaoru?" Hikaru asked as he opened the door and turned the light on, only to notice the huddling black mass next to his bed that was trembling. "Kaoru! We looked all over the school for you, and finally Nekozawa told us you went home. What did you think you were doing? Talking to the creepy gothic, catworshipping Russian?"

"Shut up," Kaoru scowled. "Leave me alone, please."

"What were you thinking? You had us all worried!" Hikaru shouted.

"Go away..." Kaoru whispered.

* * *

_"Kaoru-kun? Where the hell are you?" A voice rang out._

_Kaoru huddled under the bed, his hands over his ears._

_"I'm in my cocoon, I'm in my cocoon."_

_A hand reached under the bed and Kaoru jumped and crawled back farther under the bed, his hair getting caught on the springs. A voice came from not far away and it snarled at him, "Kaoru-kun? You're down there, aren't you? Get the hell out, I need to talk to you."_

_"Shut up," Kaoru snapped back._

_The hand grabbed his foot and pulled him out, and he stared teary eyed at his second father, Kamimoto, the one who would non-doubtly, try to murder him later in his life. The man craddled him in his arms and whispered, "Kaoru-kun, you had me worried, don't do that to me. I need to talk to you. Do you have a twin named Hitachiin Hikaru?"_

_Kaoru nodded._

_"I thought so. Look, Kaoru-kun, twins are bad," Kamimoto tried to explain. "Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?"_

_"He doesn't know he's my brother," Kaoru countered. "So it's not that bad."_

_"Do you miss him?"_

_Kaoru nodded again and began crying._

_"I want my brothers!" Kaoru sobbed. "I want my brothers!"_

_Kamimoto hugged Kaoru, and held him close. Because, he wasn't always bad._

* * *

Hikaru shook Kaoru, and he cried and cried still.

"Kaoru, what's wrong?" Hikaru scowled.

"It's just..." Kaoru tried to say but he still cried and choked and it was hard for him to say what he was thinking. "It..."

Hikaru growled, the constant crying was getting annoying. Suddenly, Hikaru's body was on top of Kaoru's and they were laying on the floor, Hikaru's hand pushing against the wall as the other cupped Kaoru's face. Hikaru's lips were on Kaoru's and he parted Kaoru's lips and his tongue entered his mouth. Kaoru blinked, what was going on? For sure, his tears had stopped falling.

"Hikaru..." Kaoru whispered between the kisses as Hikaru took a breather. "What're you doing?"

"I told you, I love you, and I just need this. I promise, I won't ever touch you again after tonight, just let me have this one night," Hikaru gasped and began kissing Kaoru. Kaoru's leg itched to go up and around Hikaru's legs, but he kept it where it was, just bending his knee a bit on one leg and he wrapped his arms around Hikaru's neck, tryingn to let him know that Kaoru wanted this, too. He wasn't quite sure if Hikaru got the picture, but at least Hikaru understood he had this night to express how he felt. Kaoru's heart throbbed, and his mind raced.

"Hikaru..." Kaoru groaned as Hikaru kissed his neck. "Hikaru! Stop!"

Hikaru ran his hand up Kaoru's shirt and removed his hand from the wall and wrapped that one on Kaoru's face instead as he kissed down Kaoru's neck and as far onto his shoulder as he could. Kaoru groaned Hikaru's name again and struggled a bit.

"Want me to stop?" Hikaru asked, breathing onto Kaoru's ear and making him shiver.

"N-no..." Kaoru admitted.

Hikaru smiled. "Good."

It must have been the labored breathing, and how hott his mouth was from kissing Kaoru's neck, but the breathing and talking on his neck and next to ear was finally enough, and Kaoru wrapped his leg around Hikaru.

Hikaru smiled and huffed again, before asking, "What was that for."

"I... love you too," Kaoru admitted. "Now get kissing."

"Yes, Ms. Heroine."


	8. Related

They had been ignorant to the fact that the door was unlocked, and personally, they didn't care at all.

"Hikaru," Kaoru whispered and a pain clutched at his stomach. It wasn't fear or anything like the usual, it was more of... pleasure, perhaps a sick pleasure. The name of his brother lingered on his tongue, and it didn't matter to him that they were related, but he remembered that Hikaru had no idea that they were twin brothers, and suddenly it seemed crucial for him to know this. Kaoru hesitated, but he waited for the longly anticipated reply.

"Nh, yes, Kaoru?" Hikaru whispered as he pulled the body closer to him. Kaoru's face was beet red, but at least his clothes were still on. Well, his pants were still on, and so were Hikaru's. That counted for something, right?

"The door's unlocked," Kaoru whispered.

Hikaru shuffled a bit and stared down into the identical golden eyes.

"Well then, let them walk in," Hikaru teased as he bit Kaoru's lower lip again. Kaoru moaned and turned a bit, but only enough to wrap his arms around his twin. The wrong of it all attacked Kaoru in the form of a sickness and suddenly, Kaoru wanted to hurl, so he cuddled closer to his older brother.

It was true, that the twins got out of hand that night. Kisses were firey and all over the body, and their bodies were sweaty along with the close cuddling and holding, the straddling. What bugged Kaoru the worst was when finally, the twins couldn't take it and they began to remove articles of clothing, mostly it was just the shirts and some uncomfortable socks. Being so "firey" and "passionate" had apparently worn Hikaru out, and soon the twins had to stop before they got to where they both had wanted to go. Kaoru still wasn't sure if the elder knew Kaoru loved him, it didn't seem likely with the way Hikaru talked, but the breath was so smooth, so heated, Kaoru couldn't stand denying that tongue and lips anything, he couldn't stand stopping it just to talk about something idiotic, even if it was love.

After Hikaru and Kaoru agreeing on being tired, the two finally climbed into bed, since they started their started their making out on the floor. Now Kaoru was snuggled up with a man whom was related to him and didn't even know it, it almost felt criminal, if Kaoru knew the difference between right and wrong. His conience was nagging at him, but Kaoru stopped listening to it after it'd gotten him almost beaten to death thousands of times, so he was laying, staring at that smooth face, the little "voice" in his head screaming at him over and over again. _"First thing's first! You're both males! MEN! Men don't love eachother! He's also your brother and doesn't even know it! Won't he hate you when he finds out? Plus, he's your TWIN BROTHER! Doesn't it bug you at ALL? What's wrong with you?"_

The little voice kept yelling, and the longer it did, the closer the two brothers got, and Kaoru began to sniffle lightly.

"What's wrong?" Hikaru asked in a whisper, ruffling Kaoru's hair a bit as he exhaled the question. "Is something bothering you, Kaoru?"

"Nothing," Kaoru lied and hid his face in Hikaru's arms. "Nothing's wrong, Hikaru."

The more the thoughts swirled, the worse the sickness became, soon it bloomed into full and Kaoru couldn't take laying in the embrace any longer, after all, it was like Hikaru said. Only for a night.

_"Please, just one night," _Was the best Kaoru could remember of Hikaru's saying, and just the thought of that voice speaking to him like that hurt his ears. Kaoru couldn't take it, it was the first time he'd EVER listened to his concience, and it was blaring louder than it had ever done before. The worst part of all of this was that Hikaru had absolutely no idea that he was related to Kaoru at all, he knew they looked alike and they called eachother brothers, but they didn't want to be actual brothers, not anymore. Hikaru loved Kaoru. Kaoru loved Hikaru.

It should've been simple.

Only, it wasn't.

"I... need to go," Kaoru whispered as he shot up out of the bed and out and away from the house. He still didn't have a shirt on, and his pants zipper was undone, but that didn't matter to him. Kaoru'd never had this... voice before. It was something wrong being done to him, not him doing something wrong, but now he was getting to learn exactly the talk that your concience gave you, but did normal people really have this little nagging voice?

Kaoru had called Kyoya and Tamaki and told them to meet him in the park, pronto.

"I have to tell him," Kaoru explained as he walked up to them before any words could be spoken.

Tamaki's face fell red as his brother over half naked. Kaoru was bare foot, shirtless, his hair was ruffled, different patches of skin were still sore and red from too intense of kissing, and the pants were unzipped, undone, and falling off. Kyoya ignored Tamaki's burning face and Kaoru's inflamed and exposed body and he asked, "Why exactly, do you have to tell him? What do you have to tell whom?"

"I have to tell HIM that we're RELATED!" Kaoru snapped. "Don't play dumb with me!"

"Is that true?" Someone asked as they walked into the area, their shirt hanging around the neck and the pants in much the same shape. The hands weren't in the armholes, and the hair was rough and tousled, the skin exposed from the shirt's wrong use was also inflamed, and he looked much like his little twin brother, only he didn't look AS exposed and nude as Kaoru did. "Are we really related, Kaoru? Tell me we're not."

"We're not," Kaoru replied, turning to meet the golden eyes.

"Tell me what you mean to say."

"We're related," Kaoru sighed. "We've always been related."

With that, the eldest red head dashed off, back towards his house, and the younger stared, tears tugging at his eyes again.

"What happened?" Kyoya wondered, not sure if he actually wanted to know what was going on before these half naked boys came out of their little lair. Kyoya sighed and shook his head, knowing that he'd regret asking that question.

"N-nothing," Kaoru stuttered. "W-we were just... just... hanging... out!"

"With your pants coming off?" Kyoya wondered. "With those bruises and scarrs on your arms?"

Kaoru sighed because it was true, he couldn't lie to the Shadow King. Not now, not ever.

"We were... doing something. Getting into it, too," Kaoru finally admitted.

"How far did you get?" Tamaki quickly jutted in. "What did he do to you, little brother?"

"Not that far, it was mostly just kissing," Kaoru again admitted. "Kissing and touching, not much."

"Not much between a man and a woman," Kyoya pointed out. "But it's a big thing between a man and a man, not including the fact that you're both twin brothers. This must be a huge shock on Hikaru. First, he meets his long lost friend and finds himself wanting more. Then he does something more and almost goes _there_ when he suddenly finds out that he was about to have sex with his twin brother. I'd be shocked and pissed."

Kaoru nodded and cursed, "Thanks, you made me feel so much better."

"Gladly."

Tamaki and Kyoya walked off to leave Kaoru alone, and the boy sat sighing and crying.

He was in the park, his pants almost off, and recieving millions of glares from mothers, and flirtatious squeals from passing girls. It was true, Kaoru was beautiful, it was almost impossible for anyone not to touch him, unless of course, they were straight males. Even then some people had trouble.

Hikaru didn't call.

Kaoru groaned and called someone on his cellphone as rain poured down on his hair, making it soppy and falling into his face. The clouds were ominous that morning, and Kaoru should have listened to them, but then again, why would you listen to anything when the person who makes your heart pound, who makes your face red, who makes your palms sweaty and your mouth wanting something, well, who could listen to anything when that person was cradling you, placing gentle yet firey kisses on random places on your body. Not necessarily on the upper body, but pratically anywhere the mouth could reach.

"Hello?" The voice answered.

"Hi, can we... go home? I don't think it's going to work out," Kaoru explained.

"Work out?"

"...Hikaru doesn't really seem like a good person to be around right now, and Tama isn't exactly what I want for a brother," Kaoru sighed into the speaker and the more he spoke, the more he wished he was Hikaru. Kaoru only wished this because he loved everything about that body, the way it made the voice so deep yet childish, the way he could seduce Kaoru into a puddle when he wasn't even trying. Yes, Kaoru wanted to be Hikaru because Hikaru wasn't going to talk to Kaoru anymore.

Not with the way Kaoru saw it.

"So you want to go back to the orphanage?"

Kaoru paused before answering, "Yes."

"You sure?"

"Positive. I'm at the park."

"Affirmative, be there in about five minutes."

Kaoru curled up on the bench, his face red, and his heart and head throbbing. All he could think about was him. The way he smiled, his breath uneven, his continous lack of oxygen, and the way he kissed, licked, and touched. It melted Kaoru right in that spot, and he just wished that they weren't related, that Hikaru hadn't heard him, that Hikaru hadn't run off. Everything Kaoru thought of couldn't have, or didn't, happen to him.

Kaoru's driver arrived and he walked off with him, staring into the gray damp world once again. Like he did when he had come in the first place. It felt lonely, staring out there again.

They passed that oh-so-familiar lawn and Kaoru sighed, he looked away. He'd never done that before. An urge overcame Kaoru as they were about to pass the even more familiar yard and he cranked the window of the antique car down and he shouted out towards the house, where a boy identical to him sat on the steps, getting soaked.

"I LOVE YOU!" Kaoru shouted, getting a good glance from the boy and the eyes widened, and for a moment, Kaoru felt a huge cloud of doubt. He didn't want to leave him. Kaoru loved him, and he wished they could've gone just a step further. They didn't. Kaoru was leaving.

No use wishing.

Wishing was dumb.

For idiots.

For them.

He sighed again as he curled up in the car, his awakeness leaving him.

"I love you," Kaoru whispered as he started to fall asleep.


	9. Run Away

**Note: I'm going to be gone tonight at a Birthday Party, and I won't be back until after noon tomorrow and I've been kind of slacking off with these stories. Sorry!**

* * *

That was one of those moments, where you were surrounded by people right? Yet you felt completely lonely like no one could ever care. 

That's how Kaoru felt.

"He looks familiar," A couple girls whispered to eachother.

"You're right," The other noted. "I think I've seen him before."

"Doesn't he look that boy from ten years ago? Back when we were in the orphanage? Ten years ago?"

"About ten, yeah."

Kaoru ignored them and looked away from everyone.

"People are idiots," Kaoru scowled. "I should've left long ago. It takes something like that to make you realize that-"

His eyes hooked on a woman as she walked in, with short stylish hair, and fashionable clothes.

"Hello, is there a boy her-" She started.

Kaoru attacked her in a hug.

"Mommy!" Kaoru whined as he clung onto the woman.

"Is this true? Are you his mother?" A woman with a clipboard asked as she walked out, a stubborn look on her face. "He's been coming back here for more than ten years now."

"It's true, this is my son," She confirmed. "I have another son as well, and then a boy I was going to adopt before, but apparently he got seperated from Kaoru."

"Mrs. Hitachiin? The REAL Hitachiin heir? The mother of twins?" The woman asked more questions.

To each, the lady whom Kaoru clung to nodded her head.

"We were waiting for you to return, madame, this boy has been in poor shape, I'd take him and get him good again before you retrieve the others," The lady laughed and walked up. "It's so good to see you again Yuzashima-san."

Kaoru looked up at the lady who was also known as Hitachiin Yuzashima, the woman who'd dissapeared years ago, about sixteen years to give a better estimate. Kaoru found it hard to believe that he'd been the only one of her children whom she'd talked to, and suddenly, he began to wonder why, and why he'd been abandoned in the first place. Wait, these people here were waiting for his mother to come back? What was going on?

"Mommy, what's going on?" Kaoru asked.

"I'll explain later," Mom laughed and directed him out of the place.

"Wait! The paper work!" One of the girls from earlier shouted at them. "You forgot the paper work!"

"I said I'd come back for him, and I have, there's no need for paper work," She replied. "I would appreciate it if I could have Hitachiin Tamaki and Hitachiin Hikaru as well, Tamaki might now be named under the alias of Suoh Tamaki."

The girls behind the desk nodded and looked at eachother uncertainly, but the manager didn't say anything was wrong, so they figured they'd better take care of it. They decided they wouldn't ask for the two boys, since it might seem as a shock and apparently she wanted some alone time with Kaoru, so they didn't think anything else of it, and began looking for her papers of custody, and surely they found it, once the manager gave it to them.

"We kept it secret," The manager explained. "There was some crazy person out to get them."

"I see," The two chuckled but were still worried.

Mother of twins?

* * *

"Kaoru," Hikaru groaned as they walked into the orphanage. "You sure he's here?" 

"Well, this is where they took him to," Yuna explained.

Hikaru didn't answer, only gripped his mother's hand tighter.

"Is Hitachiin Kaoru here still? I want to adopt him," Yuna asked proffessionaly as she stood infront of the desk, infront of two teenage females.

"Sorry," One girl chimed as her gum bubble popped and she chewed on it again.

"His mother got him earlier, you just missed them," The other finished.

"Mother?" Hikaru and Yuna both asked, shocked.

"I thought she was dead," Yuna protested.

"Apparently not," The first scowled.

"His mom?" Hikaru asked, nervously.

"Yup, she came in and took him, he was awfully happy to see her," The second one chimed.

Hikaru turned away, thinking about it. If the person who took Kaoru was his real mother, then she was Hikaru's mom too, and that meant he'd have to leave Yuna. That would be horrible too, because then Tamaki would find out that Kaoru wasn't his actual brother, and Hikaru wasn't sure how the drama queen would take that one, he was always so proud of his little brother, but to find out he wasn't his real brother? Or did... Tamaki already know this?

"Can we have her address?" Yuna finally spoke up.

"He looks like Kaoru-kun, what's his name?"

"Umm, this is my son, Hikaru."

"Hikaru-kun?" The two asked and shared gazes.

"Yes, that's my son," Yuna confirmed. "Why? Did she say something about him?"

"Apparently she wants him too, along with Suoh Tamaki," The first one chuckled and looked at the second one, wondering if she wasn't allowed to say that, but the second one didn't argue with her, so they figured it must've been okay. "Do you know the other boy, ma'am?"

"Actually, Suoh Tamaki is Hikaru's friend," Yuna chuckled, trying to keep ease in her tone.

"Oh that's great! Then our search won't be so hard."

"Can I-?"

"Oh yes, the address, here it is."

Yuna stared at the address and sighed, pulling Hikaru out. For once, Hikaru thought maybe he knew how Kaoru felt, and he clung to his mother's side. This was different for Hikaru than it was for Kaoru and Tamaki, Hikaru had thought this was his actual mother for his whole life, he'd never known that he had another family until he heard Kaoru say that he was Kaoru's twin brother. Hikaru wasn't sure if he actually wanted to meet his mother, he liked the lie he was living, it was nice.

It didn't hurt.

"Mommy," Hikaru whispered as he sat next to Yuna in the car. "I have something I'm confused about."

"What is it, Hikaru?" Yuna asked as she turned a bit to stare at the boy whom was always thought of as her son. Yes, Hikaru was sure that this was his mother, that he was her son, he almost thought of asking her about his birth once, but he'd done that before, and she'd gotten quiet and didn't reply to him about that. It hurt, because the kids in Hikaru's class were talking about how they were born in these odd and unique ways, and others were saying how it was just normal, but everyone seemed to have a little twist to their birth.

It must've been hard, to have all this rush at him at once, and now he had to deal with the fact that he was in love his little brother, not as a brother, but as a soul mate. Maybe they were soul mates. Hikaru didn't know.

He didn't want to.

"So, the feelings I've had towards Kaoru, they were... like... brotherly love, right?" Hikaru tried to joke.

Yuna didn't reply, she only stared at her son and tried to smile.

"Right?"

"Well, see, I kind of..." She tried to explain. "I walked in on you two yesterday and... it doesn't look like you see Kaoru as a brother."

Crap. Hikaru and Kaoru hadn't locked the door the other day.

_"Just let me have this one night."_

Hikaru suddenly wished he hadn't said that. Why couldn't he have said, _"Just let me have this week."_

The boy shook his head. This was unnatural, this was WRONG, if Kaoru really was his younger twin brother, then Hikaru couldn't think of him like that. He'd also have to try and stop his dreams, which grew oldly more perverse every night.

"I do, he's my little brother, nothing more, nothing less," Hikaru scowled. He was trying to get himself to believe that too. No, Hikaru didn't love Kaoru as anything more than a brother, and the reason they were so close was because they were siblings, that was all it was, that's all it is now too, it's never changed, it couldn't change, it just... just couldn't. Hikaru didn't know how to deal with this. Why did life have to be so mean? It was always nice to Hikaru before.

Hikaru was rich.

Hikaru was handsome.

Hikaru was a virgin.

Everyone loved Hikaru.

Hikaru was an heir to one of the most succesful companies.

So what happened?

Hikaru had a twin brother.

That's when it all crashed down.

"Why do I have to have a brother?" Hikaru moaned. "Everything was perfect. I had a crush, like normal kids. I had a crush on a girl, like normal boys. I was rich, and famous, and was going to take over the company when I was old enough. Every girl in school loved me, like I was a God. Even some boys liked me, like I was a God. Now I have a brother, and suddenly I have a crush on a boy, like normal _girls! _I have a crush on my younger twin brother, like non-normal people!"

The whole while, Yuna was patting Hikaru on the back, and calling Lenny on her phone, telling him that they'd be late home, because something came up, and it was true, something had come up. They finally arrived at the house, and it was fabulous, rich, and elegant, but it was odd. It was off in the country, in the woods, in a place you'd least expect to find a house. Especially the house of a rich family. A prosperous family. Hikaru's family.

They got out of the car and walked up to the house... mansion.

"Act natural," Yuna ordered as she rang the doorbell.

"Like I could act anything else," Hikaru snarled.

"Hello?" A man asked as he opened the door. He looked a lot like a servant, with how groomed he was and quiet.

"Yes, are the Hitachiins home?" Yuna asked.

"I am Mr. Hitachiin."

The two blinked and blushed. So this was Kaoru's father? Hikaru's father?

"Is Kaoru here?" Hikaru asked.

The man's eyes gazed at Hikaru before he nodded, and all three walked into the house and Hikaru stared into the room as Kaoru was on the couch, cuddled up to a woman who looked a lot like him, probably their mom. His throat choked and his teeth clenched, and his chest felt tight. Hikaru didn't want to go in there.

"Darling, we have some visitors," Mr. Hitachiin announced.

"Oh yes! Come here!" Yuzashima greeted quietly. "Try to be a bit quiet, Kaoru's sleeping."

Yuna politely took a seat, and so did Mr. Hitachiin, but unknowing of customs with that angel in his eyesight, he sat down next to Kaoru, who was leaning on his mother. Hikaru wasn't happy with that head on another person's lap, so he nudged Kaoru lightly.

"Oi, Kaoru, I'm over here," Hikaru hissed.

Yuzashima opened her mouth to object, but she didn't say anything, and Kaoru woke up quickly at the sound of that voice. He looked around to see if it was his imagination, and not seeing Hikaru, he figured it was and was about to go to sleep before Hikaru nudged him again.

"I'm over here, idiot."

Kaoru looked at Hikaru and his face instantly flushed.

"H-hikaru?" Kaoru stumbled.

"One and only."

A smile plastered itself on that burning red face and the boy turned away from his mother and snuggled up to Hikaru, his heart throbbing, and his head in pain. None of that mattered though, Kaoru just wanted Hikaru. No one could take the two away now. Kaoru was determined to stay by Hikaru, and Hikaru was determined to stay by Kaoru. It didn't matter that Kaoru had regrets about meeting Hikaru again, for most of them were all pretend.

"See, there's a problem," Yuna finally spoke up. "It seems they don't love eachother as brothers, but something more."

"Mmm, that's not good," Kaoru's mother complained. "That's not good at all, that means they can't share a room."

Kaoru blushed and whined, "We're not that irresponsible, mommy."

"Oh, you'd be surprised what love does to ya."

It was true, Hikaru would never think of himself as the homosexual type, yet here he was, madly in love with a person of his gender. He also never imagined himself kissing Kaoru and admitting how he felt, yet it had happened on the day previous.

"It won't be a problem for us, Hikaru and I are responsible," Kaoru continued to whine.

His mother sighed and added, "I don't think I should adopt the other two, I should just keep Kaoru, is that all right with you, Yuna-chan?"

"It is, Yuzashima-chan," Yuna confirmed.

"You know eachother?" Hikaru asked.

"We're sisters," Yuna and Yuzashima pointed out. "Twins run strongly in our genes, but we weren't identical."

Yuzashima continued, "Since I couldn't keep my children for the moment, I decided to give each of you to my siblings, but unforunately, the government wasn't happy with having two Hitachiin families, so they killed my younger brother and his wife. It was a shame, really. I didn't expect to lose track of my youngest son, so I decided to get you while I knew where you were, because I couldn't contact your guardian, apparently they took his rights away."

Kaoru didn't like the way this was sounding one bit, and he buried his face in Hikaru's chest as the elder wrapped his arms around the younger.

"We're really brothers?" Hikaru tried to confirm, hoping they'd suddenly say it was a joke. Hey! Maybe they could even say that Kaoru was a really crossdresser.

That was impossible though, Hikaru saw what was under Kaoru's shirt, and almost got into his pants.

Kaoru was a man.

Kaoru was Hikaru's younger twin brother.

Hikaru was gay.

"My whole life went upside down in less than a week?" Hikaru whined. "This is a record, I should send it in."

Kaoru smiled and chuckled, removing his head enough to look up into Hikaru's eyes, and the older boy had to smile. It didn't even matter that they couldn't get farther, because his hands were on that body again, and he was looking at that face again. There was even a smile on the face, that was a bonus for Hikaru.

Both of the boys stomachs were in knots.

It was hard to keep their hands there, on top of the clothes. They wanted to wander, but they couldn't. It was wrong.

But it felt so good.

Of course, at the end of the day, Yuna took Hikaru home to eat supper with her and Lenny. Hikaru didn't want to leave, he wanted to stay with Kaoru, and just like that, he decided what he wanted to do the next day.

* * *

"Pst, Kaoru," Hikaru's voice whispered. 

That was impossible, Kaoru was in his home and in his bed, so why was Hikaru's voice-?

"Kaoru!" Came the voice again, a bit louder.

Hikaru groaned and got up and walked over to his window, yawns escaping his mouth.

"Hikaru? How'd you get two stories up in the air and infront of my window?" Kaoru yawned.

"I got a ladder," Hikaru hissed. "Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere."

"What do you mean?" Kaoru asked, suspiciously.

"I mean we're running away, now come on!" Hikaru hissed and grabbed Kaoru's hand and pulled him onto the ladder and Hikaru almost fell backwards off of the ladder. Kaoru scowled and climbed onto the window sill again and finally agreed to Hikaru's crazy plot. After Hikaru climbed down a bit, Kaoru followed, and the two were safely on the ground in a matter of minutes. Now Kaoru was annoyed and was about to ask Hikaru a question before Hikaru replied, "I don't know, but we can walk until we get tired, and then we'll rest."

Kaoru frowned, but nodded and grabbed Hikaru's hand.

"Why are we running away?" Kaoru finally asked.

"I don't really know. Our parents probably won't let us be together though, so we should run away so we don't have to just see eachother as brothers, I mean, if you don't want to just be a brother. We could always turn back now," Hikaru explained.

A smile slipped Kaoru's defenses and he squeezed Hikaru's hand and moved closer to him, their bodies centimeters away from the other.

"O-okay," Kaoru whispered. "You sure it'll be okay?"

"I never said that," Hikaru scowled. "I just know we're going, okay?"

Kaoru nodded and closed his eyes, wanting to fall asleep. "Okay."

"You tired?" Hikaru groaned. "Already?"

"Yeah..."

Hikaru cussed and cursed, but he picked Kaoru up and held him close, much like you would hold your bride. After awhile, when Hikaru was sure that Kaoru was asleep, he kissed Kaoru's forehead.

"It's okay," Hikaru whispered. "I still love you."

Hikaru had been up most of the night preparing to leave, he _borrowed_ about a thousand dollars from his mother and brought a toy he'd gotten from Kaoru for his birthday. They were supposed to share it, but Kaoru forced Hikaru to keep it when he moved away.

"When are we going to stop?" Kaoru wondered as the two sat in the park, eating some of the breakfast Hikaru'd bought from a store. Since it was all in cash, they weren't questioned on anything. They bought the cheapest thing as possible, so it tasted horrible, but Kaoru was grateful for having any food at all on this run away trip. He thought it would be stupid, like those children on TV, where they didn't bring any money, or little money, and they pratically starved from the rationings before they were finally found. Kaoru suddenly was determined not to be found. "I mean, if we're going to stop."

"We're going as far as we can," Hikaru explained. "Yeah... as far as we can..."

Kaoru reached into his pocket and pulled out three hundred dollars and handed it to Hikaru.

"Where'd _you _get money like this? I thought you were poor?" Hikaru teased.

"I am poor, I saved all this up from when I lived with my foster parents. I have some more in my bag though, I got that from my bank that mom had been saving up for me," Kaoru explained, not in the least bit annoyed at Hikaru calling him poor. "I just thought that maybe you'd forgotten to bring a lot of money, and I want you to buy the stuff we get."

Hikaru smiled and laughed. "Kaoru, I have a lot of money already."

Kaoru smiled as well. "Good, then I can eat."

The two frowned and looked down at the wrappers of mini cereal boxes Hikaru'd bought for them.

"How long will this last?" Kaoru asked.

"Not long enough."

Kaoru thought for a moment and replied, "I'm a good snitch."

"You mean you're a good thief?"

"No, a snitch," Kaoru muttered. "I've never thought of it as stealing, that sounds so... so... evil, doesn't it?"

Hikaru sighed. "Yeah, but Kaoru, that's stealing."

"So? It'll keep us alive."

"Fine."

Kaoru smiled in triumph and he stood up, about to throw their boxes away.

"Put them in your bag, we could have use of them," Hikaru quickly called.

The younger boy sighed, but nodded, and put the two empty boxes and wrappers into his rucksack.

"Let's go," Kaoru quickly replied and pulled his brother's hand and the two started off into the woods again.

"Sure we're not going backwards?"

"Doesn't matter, we need to find a place to sleep, I didn't bring anything to sleep with, did you?"

Hikaru shook his head and Kaoru groaned.

"I have to sleep on twigs for the rest of my life!"

"Only until we're adults."

Kaoru stopped and sat down infront of a tree and Hikaru sat next to him and asked, "What's wrong, Kaoru?"

"What about Tama?" Kaoru whispered. "Or Haruhi? Or Hunny-sempai? Kyoya? Mori-sempai? Or-"

Kaoru shot up suddenly and dug in his pocket and stared at the cat puppet he'd recieved from that gothic man, and he remembered that he had the cloak he recieved in his rucksack. He dug in the bag and pulled out the cloak and wrapped it around the two, since Kaoru was cold.

"Come on, let's go," Kaoru grunted. "I have to return this to Nekozawa-sempai."

"Are you kidding?" Hikaru snapped. "Our parents are probably looking for us right now! You must be insane!"

"I have to return it."

Despite Hikaru's protests, the younger boy continued on, the puppet on his hand, and his determination raging. No, Hikaru wasn't going to argue with Kaoru, he'd get left behind. He could already tell that Kaoru was stubborn, even more stubborn than him even. So the two arrived in the city, and sure enough, the police were everywhere. Kaoru ignored it and he "snitched" a phonebook and found Nekozawa's house.

"You wait here," Kaoru ordered. "If I'm not back in five minutes, run."

"What if you're just taking a long time?" Hikaru worried.

"Then just meet me by the nearest lake behind this house, and if I'm not there in an hour, I'm not coming back."

With that, Kaoru went up to the mansion, and knocked on the door.

"Hello? Oh, it's you, Kaoru-kun is it? The police are looking for you," Nekozawa scowled as he opened the door.

"Here," Kaoru hissed as he held the puppet out to him. "I'm returning it."

"Oh, I thought I lost you, Bereznoff!" Nekozawa chimed as he quickly snatched his cat puppet. "It's so good to see you again! Look! Kaoru-kun even kept the robe!"

Kaoru smiled at how happy Nekozawa was, but then he remembered that he had to go, because the police were after him.

"Oh, don't tell anyone, but Hikaru and I are running away," Kaoru explained. "So I wanted to give you your puppet back before we got too far away and I forgot about it. That'd be pretty cruel."

"Here," Nekozawa ordered as he shoved three more cloaks into Kaoru's arms. "They're easy to carry, and they're warm and make good pillows. Make good use of them, and may the luck of the Gods be with you, both of you."

Kaoru smiled and accepted the gifts and left, running to Hikaru happily.

"He said they make good blankets and pillows," Kaoru explained at Hikaru irritated gaze.

"Yeah, but they're Freakozawa's," Hikaru scowled.

Kaoru scowled and slapped Hikaru on the head, and the two began walking again.

"Do you think that we'll always be together?" Kaoru suddenly asked.

Hikaru urged up enough courage and he kissed Kaoru on the lips lightly.

"I'm sure."


	10. No Need To Be Ashamed It's Only Love

It had been a week since the two had run away, and neither knew where they were. All Hikaru knew was that Kaoru would make an AMAZING theif, or rather, he WAS an amazing theif. It was how they kept all their money for they needed it, and it was almost like the boy had no concience so it didn't bug him at all!

"How do you do that?" Hikaru asked once.

"Hmm? Oh, snitch? It's easy, just go and take it when they're not looking and run away," Kaoru shrugged it off easily.

"How do you sleep at night?"

"I usually get beaten for it, but this is so much better."

It didn't make much sense to Hikaru, but he guessed he should be happy, since that allowed them to stay together and out of sight of the police since they were continuously moving. It was kind of confusing, how good Kaoru was at stealing things, it was almost like he was born to steal. Then again, that's probably what Kaoru was doing since he was seven or six, so he'd been doing it for about ten years. I guess after a while your concience gets dull. It was true, Kaoru tried to ignore it as much as possible, he thought it was irritating, but it was what made it so that Hikaru found out that they were related.

Kaoru wasn't even sure if Hikaru believed it.

Hikaru was different.

He was a rich brat.

None-the-less, Kaoru's heart pounded next to him, and the kindness Hikaru showed shook Kaoru's insides, so if it wasn't for that, Kaoru would've probably ditched him long ago. Yes, Hikaru was lucky he had such a good attitude and was so handsome, because he was obnoxious. Sometimes it was even worse than Tamaki, and Tamaki had something about him that made Kaoru just want to kill himself sometimes.

"You mean you've never snitched anything before?" Kaoru asked as the two cuddled together under one of Nekozawa's robes and sleeping on a few, Hikaru only did it after sleeping alone for a couple days without any comfort except for twigs. Sleeping on sharp things like needles does something to you, so Hikaru finally agreed to sleeping on them with Kaoru. I guess it was okay as long as Kaoru was sleeping next to him. Hikaru was such a crybaby sometimes.

"I've stolen before, but I got yelled at, and I felt really bad. I've tried to avoid it as much as possible," Hikaru explained as he wrapped his arms around the younger boy.

"Ah, that little voice?"

"Umm, my concience? Yeah."

"That's what it's called."

It was the opposite for Hikaru. In the affection, anyway. He was addicted to Kaoru. The way he smelt, the way he breathed, the way he smiled. It was all so majestic, and Hikaru was intoxicated with it, and could never keep his eyes off of the younger boy, he'd often run into things he was so caught up in staring at Kaoru. It was amazing. Kind of like those songs you hear, but this was real. Those songs about abused children really being like, angels hidden in disguise. Only Kaoru really was an angel in everything he did. Odd, an angel that steals things and doesn't care. Well, since angels aren't human, guess they have no concience.

Unlike Kaoru, Hikaru wasn't obsessed over Kaoru's attitude and thought it was adorable. Rather, Hikaru was repulsed, yet in love, with Kaoru's attitude.

When they stopped again, Kaoru was playing with his fingers, like he was nervous or something.

"What's wrong, Kaoru?"

"Do you think we could... sleep in an actual bed?"

"How would we do that?"

"Umm, we could snitch a hotel key and stay there, and give it to them later," Kaoru explained, laughing.

"Kaoru, I don't think even you are that experienced of a theif," Hikaru complained.

"Theif? No. Snitch? Yes."

"No, that's stealing, it's ripping off-"

"Don't you want to sleep on an actual bed for at least one night again? ONE night?" Kaoru tried to convince.

Hikaru tried to think about it. Well, it was only ONE night. Still, that's ripping off about two-hundred dollars from the hotel and company, maybe even more. Of course, they didn't have to stay there very long, just sleep and sneak out.

"Please?" Kaoru begged. "Don't be such a party pooper."

"You're the abused kid," Hikaru mummered. "Fine, go ahead."

"Yes!" Kaoru cheered and he started to dash off towards the city. "Wait here."

Hikaru sighed and waited outside, his stomach churning. It was about midnight now, and he was worried about Kaoru, so he did the one thing he was told not to do by Kaoru. The only rule Kaoru set for him.

Don't follow.

Hikaru snuck in and waited by the entrance, acting like he was waiting for his mother or something, but he looked pretty horrible, so he thought he might be acting really stupid. He couldn't even see Kaoru, and he wondered if Kaoru'd given up and went back, only to find Hikaru wasn't there. Maybe Kaoru turned himself because he thought Hikaru got caught? A knot burned in Hikaru's stomach and he didn't know what to do, but he stared there.

"Shi-" A voice suddenly came quietly as a door latch unlocked behind the counter.

"Excuse me Miss!" Hikaru called as a lady came out.

"Um, yes?" She asked, a little worried. "Isn't it a little past bedtime?"

"Oh, well, you see, I just lost contact of my family, and we were told to always meet at the nearest homeless shelter, do you know where one is?" Hikaru quickly lied. He'd never been good at it, so he thought it sounded stupid and him and Kaoru would get busted. The elder knew the younger was behind the counter, just waiting for that lady to discover him and get in trouble. Hikaru also knew that Kaoru was pissed. Hikaru wasn't supposed to follow.

"Oh yes, I'll show you," The lady chuckled and walked out from behind the counter and she took Hikaru outside. She must not have recognized him, with all that grime on him. "It's that building over there."

Hikaru nodded and smiled at her.

"Thank you, ma'am. I'm going to go meet my family now," Hikaru lied again, getting quite good at it.

The lady smiled and laughed and nodded to him, then she walked back into the hotel, and Hikaru only hoped that she hadn't seen Kaoru.

Hikaru ran around to the back, where they hid the rucksack in a bush. It was still there and along with it was a VERY unhappy teen.

"You're a sucky liar. Thank goodness you didn't say your mom died and you needed to go to a homeless shelter. Then this whole thing would've gone to hell," Kaoru cursed. This was the first time Hikaru saw Kaoru genuinly pissed.

"Why are you so mad?"

"She could've caught you!" Kaoru snapped. "There's a lot of bad people out there! What if she wouldn't turn you into the police? Then what? I'd have to save your ass!"

Hikaru blinked. Kaoru was really mad about this.

"So why are you so mad?"

Kaoru scowled and stood up and shoved the keys infront of his face.

"You could've been hurt," Kaoru explained in a low tone. "Don't ever risk anything like that again."

"She was going to catch you," Hikaru pointed out.

"YOU IDIOT!" Kaoru snapped. "I was hiding! Otherwise she would've noticed me anyway! You idiot! You ding-dong! Imbecile! I can't express my anger about this!"

"You're mad because I could've gotten hurt?"

Kaoru blushed and looked away, then he grabbed his rucksack.

"Whatever, let's go," Kaoru hissed. "I got a good room, but there's only one bed. Sorry about that. We can take a shower in there too. That'll be nice."

"Or a bath," Hikaru added, hopefully.

"Yeah, or a bath," Kaoru snarled. "Why do you want a bath?"

"Either's okay, but I'm not leaving your side."

"Great, I have to bathe with a pervert who almost got himself killed!"

"Kaoru, I think you are related to Milord. You're such a drama queen," Hikaru teased.

Kaoru's strong, yet girly, hands clutched Hikaru's biceps and Kaoru put his face inches away from Hikaru's.

"What is wrong with you?" Kaoru hissed. "You're so messed up! You're worrying on the inside yet you make jokes. Rich people are freaks."

"Now you're calling me a rich person? Not a good person?"

"Shut up."

"Has it ever occured to you that I'm me? Not in a category?"

Kaoru let go and pushed him lightly and started walking towards the door. Kaoru stood infront of the door, his hand on the handle.

"Well?" Hikaru asked as it started to rain a bit.

"Come on, you'll get wet."

Hikaru scowled but went with the stubborn little theif.

The two walked up into their room and Kaoru threw his rucksack on the floor and went straight into the bathroom and began undressing.

"What are yo-" Hikaru started.

"I feel filthy."

Hikaru laughed, "You're such a girl. What if someone hears us?"

"These are concrete floors and walls, don't worry about that," Kaoru explained as he began to take his pants off but turned his head when he noticed Hikaru staring. Kaoru's face burned. "W-what? Never seen a guy undress before?"

"Not really. I never look in the mirror."

"Ha ha, a twin joke," Kaoru hissed.

"No really, I've never seen a guy undress before. Or a girl for that matter," Hikaru explained as his eyes lingered on Kaoru's hands which had pulled his pants back up to his waist. "I've always taken a bath by myself really, and showers by myself. I've never done anything with anyone else. Sure, my parents bathed me when I was young, but no one undressed and came in with me."

"You are weird."

Either way, Kaoru smiled and walked over to Hikaru, the pants starting to fall down a bit, and weird thoughts suddenly started racing through Hikaru's mind as his face flushed. Kaoru grabbed his hand and pulled him in the room, shutting and locking the door, just in case. Kaoru had observed the way maids acted and how they knew what rooms to clean, so he figured they'd try to clean theirs, so Kaoru put the "Do Not Disturb" sign up on the door knob.

"What are you doing?" Hikaru wondered as Kaoru began unbuttoning Hikaru's pants, Hikaru's mind becoming a little more perverse.

"Keep your thoughts to yourself, you freak. You said you wouldn't leave me alone even when bathing, did you not? So, here we go, I feel filthy, so let's get in the shower," Kaoru explained, annoyance and amusement evident in his tone.

"I was kidding," Hikaru whispered.

A huge blush crossed Kaoru's face and he gasped and raised his head to look into Hikaru's face.

"Oh," Kaoru gasped. "I didn't... I mean... I'm sorry."

Hikaru smiled and placed his hands on Kaoru's waist and brought their lips close to eachother before Hikaru teased, "It's alright, darling. I don't mind taking a shower with my _wife. _It's just a normal thing that _married _couples do, darling."

Kaoru scowled.

"That's not what we're going to pretend in public, is it?"

Hikaru laughed, "Maybe."

Kaoru moaned as Hikaru kissed his neck and began to pull his pants off and Kaoru pushed on him to get away.

"We're... taking a... shower," Kaoru gasped.

Hikaru laughed, making Kaoru shudder with his warm breath.

"Fine," Hikaru whispered.

"Okay," Kaoru melted under those lips, luckily the tongue hadn't come out, or Kaoru would've really lost it, but now with his sanity half intact, he remembered that they were both filthy, and Kaoru was atleast very sanitary, so he demanded a shower before they did anything.

The point Hikaru was going to let him do something was enough, and the two undressed fully and got into the shower, and their bodies were together again, the arms over the shoulders, the skin touching. It was almost too much for Hikaru, but the memory of how pissed Kaoru was kept him sane and incheck, but just barely. He was slowly losing his sanity, and his hands began wandering up and down Kaoru's body.

"Keep your hands to yourself," Kaoru hissed, even though he was enjoying it himself.

"Shut up," Hikaru moaned, moving a little closer, and Kaoru had to control himself from leaning back onto him. "You insisted we took a shower together."

"No, you were."

"I was kidding though."

Kaoru struggled a bit and moaned and he continued to resist his urge to just let his body melt in with Hikaru's, and the urge was tremendous.

"What's wrong?" Hikaru asked, actually a bit worried.

"Nothing," Kaoru moaned. "Nothing at all."

Hikaru ran his fingers down Kaoru's abs and back up and whispered, "Don't sound like nothing, my darling _wife."_

"Shut up," Kaoru scowled. "Give me some room. Some space."

"Why? You're abused, you don't know what that is," Hikaru teased, his tongue licking Kaoru's neck.

That's all it took.

Kaoru melted.

"Kaoru? You okay?" Hikaru worried as Kaoru leaned back onto him, his face pure red and his eyes closed. "Kaoru? Say something!"

"Shut up," Kaoru hissed again. "I'm enjoying this."

A smile fell onto Hikaru's face as well.

"Enjoying this?"

"Yeah..."

Kaoru's breathing began to slow, and Hikaru decided that he was filthy, in an odd way. He seemed to glow, yet he was covered in dirt. Since Kaoru was dozing off, Hikaru decided that he'd wash Kaoru up, so Hikaru poured some soap on a sponge while holding onto Kaoru, which was very hard I might add, and he began to wash Kaoru as the water poured down on them. He looked so much like a baby, it was going to drive him insane.

Even though he was rubbing the sponge up and down, removing the grime, his fingers constantly brushed against the skin, and he found himself doing it over and over again, soon he began to do it on purpose. After he rubbed off every spot he could think of, **((Yes, EVERY spot))** he rinsed Kaoru off, not realizing that the boy was awake, and well enjoying the _torture._

"Can you do my hair too?" Kaoru whined after Hikaru rinsed him off. Hikaru blushed, he thought Kaoru was asleep.

"Uh... yeah..."

Hikaru grabbed the shampoo as Kaoru was now able to hold himself up, but his heart was pounding furiously and he'd probably have been sweating heavily if he wasn't in that shower with cold water pouring down on them. Hikaru began to massage the shampoo into Kaoru's dirty and dandruffy scalp, and at first it was nasty and he was to say "forget it", but then he noticed how Kaoru's body got weak.

It was odd, but hey, the twins had weird quirks.

"Hey, Kaoru, how are you feeling?" Hikaru asked.

"Good," Kaoru cooed. "Really good..."

"Good."

Kaoru smiled and leaned up against Hikaru again and both boys blushed, and Hikaru wrapped his arms around his little brother and pulled him close, his head resting on his, and shampoo getting all over his chin.

"Do you think we're in trouble?"

"Do you have to ask?" Hikaru teased. "We lied, we ran away, and we stole. We're also homosexual and twin brothers."

"I'm sorry," Kaoru whispered. "I never think before I do things. Thinking gets me hurt."

Hikaru snuggled his mouth into Kaoru's hair, getting some shampoo in his mouth, but he spit that out.

"Don't worry Kaoru, you won't be hurt anymore," Hikaru tried to reassure. "Not while I'm here."

"What if... it's a good hurt?"

"Good hurt?"

"...yeah."

"Like what?"

Kaoru got quiet and his elder began to wonder what was going on, and he was worried because of the silence, so he moved his waist closer to Kaoru's and he shrieked and moved away from his brother and turned around.

"Like what?" Hikaru asked again.

Kaoru's face was burning red.

"Well... you see... like, a pleasure pain," Kaoru stumbled and muttered.

"Like... what adults do?" Hikaru cooed devilishly as he closed the space between him and Kaoru.

Kaoru squeaked, "...yeah."

Hikaru brought their lips together, and Kaoru melted under him, and Hikaru had to hold him up the moment his tongue touched the youngers. Kaoru felt faint and light underneath the boys fingertips, and he thought maybe he was being too forceful, but lust overtook him and he forgot about that. In cleaning Kaoru, Hikaru had cleaned himself, but the water was getting too cold, even though the boys were keeping eachother mighty warm, so they finally got out of the shower.

Their clothes were drying in the bathroom now, because Kaoru was a neatfreak, and they were partially already dry from the blowdryer. Yes, Kaoru was much like a forceful and demonic female, he was more of a vixen than Haruhi was, Haruhi was more of an angel, Kaoru was more like a devil.

So the two crawled into bed, dry, and bare.

Kaoru was trying to get to sleep.

Hikaru was trying to sleep.

They couldn't.

Finally, Hikaru rolled over and crawled on top of Kaoru while they were under the covers and a shock shot up Kaoru's nerves and his blood vessels in his face seemed to pop with how red he became.

"W-what are you doing?" Kaoru hissed.

"Stuff," Hikaru cooed. They were on the bottom floor and far away from other occupied rooms as manipulated by Kaoru.

The elders mouth hit the youngers and the tongues lashed and he pulled away, the younger begging for more with his eyes, and his arms wrapped around his older brother. It hit Kaoru right then that this wasn't supposed to happen between brothers. It dissapeared as he stared at that mouth, and he wanted... no, he NEEDED more of it.

"What kind of stuff?" Kaoru whispered, teasing Hikaru by talking instead of kissing.

Hikaru licked Kaoru's mouth again and inbetween gasps he finally replied, "Adult stuff."

* * *

Hikaru was asleep against the wall, fully dressed, and Kaoru was taking care of the room. He was fully dressed as well. Kaoru was cleaning the bed sheets and making sure everything was in order. His heart was heavy from what he did that night, but he was kind of glad he did it. It was the one time they got to stay in a hotel. Kaoru was even more proud of being a "snitch" at that moment than he ever was before.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru hissed. "We gotta go."

"Go?" Hikaru groaned as he opened his eyes to find everything in the room the same as when they came, despite that clean boy in shining clothes in front of him. It looked like a mirror, and it was shocking to the elder whom was awoken half way through his dream, so he thought it was a mirror. A scary, identical, mirror. "Go where?"

"I dunno, anywhere," Kaoru snarled and grabbed Hikaru's arm. "They probably noticed a card key was gone, and any minute now, they're gonna come in here and change the lock and everything, we have to get out of here."

"Have you done this before?" Hikaru asked once he regained himself a bit. "You sure know a lot about this."

"Where do you think I stayed when I ran away? Like the orphanage checks up on me when I'm getting killed," Kaoru cursed. "Now wake up and let's go!"

Kaoru dragged the half asleep Hikaru out of the hotel and it finally Hikaru that he was hungry.

"Kaoru, I'm hungry," Hikaru whined.

"We'll get something in the next city."

"What if that's not for a long ways?"

"We need to get out of here, Hikaru! No buts about it!" Kaoru cursed again as they ducked into the forest. "We made it. The police are secure everywhere you go these days, no?"

"Yeah, now I'm hungry," Hikaru complained. He still wasn't fully awake, so Kaoru normally wouldn't blame him, but Kaoru's concience was raging, and he didn't want to hear any complaints from _that _man. "Let's get something to eat."

Kaoru dug into his pocket and pulled out some bread and fruit.

"Where'd you get this?" Hikaru dared to ask.

"Hotel," Kaoru answered. "Snitched it while you were asleep. You wouldn't believe how easy their lock systems are."

"Where'd you learn this stuff?"

Kaoru didn't respond and looked at Hikaru warily.

"You know that guy who was trying to kill me the other week?" Kaoru questioned in a low tone.

Hikaru nodded. "Your second foster parent."

"He taught me," Kaoru whispered. "He was nice."

"What happened?" Hikaru wondered, as quiet as Kaoru now.

"I dunno. Psychology I guess. He has voices. He's crazy."

"Oh."

"Let's go."

Before Hikaru could ask anymore and before he could finish his strawberry and cream-cheesed bagel, Kaoru pulled him off.

"Kaoru, isn't stealing bad?" Hikaru wondered after he finished what he was eating.

"No."

It was amazing, how simple yet complex Kaoru was. Everything was one thing or the other, nothing was in between. Or that's what he showed, and for some reason, Hikaru longed to break open that head and receive all that information. Getting inside of Kaoru was easy for Hikaru though, so it shouldn't have been too much longer before he broke open Kaoru and figured out all that was inside.

"I get it! You're mad!" Hikaru exclaimed.

"About what?" Kaoru murmered in an angered tone.

"About last night," Hikaru whispered.

Kaoru immediatly stopped and Hikaru almost slammed into him when Kaoru spun around on his heel and brought his right in his.

"That gets out to NO ONE!" Kaoru snarled. "You got it?"

Hikaru blinked, not sure if he should take Kaoru seriously.

"Do you got it?"

"Got it."

"Good."

Kaoru snarled and turned around and started walking again, not holding Hikaru's hand this time, but trying to balance the heavy rucksack on his back. Hikaru had offered to take the load off of the girly boy, but he said it was fine, and that he didn't want to burden Hikaru with such things. It was irritating to Hikaru, that Kaoru always wanted Hikaru to be comfortable. Hikaru wanted Kaoru to be comfortable too, that's why he offered in the first place.

"Didn't you like it? Or was that my fault?" Hikaru snapped as he caught up and frowned.

Kaoru wouldn't look at him, but Hikaru could read his body language.

Kaoru was pissed.

He didn't want Hikaru inside him for a while.

In any way.

"Was it wrong to do that?"

"Isn't it obvious? We're brothers! We're twins!" Kaoru groaned as he refused to look at Hikaru and a tear strolled down his cheek. "It's just... just wrong, Hikaru! We haven't seen eachother in forever and suddenly we get really close in a few days, less than a week, and then we run away together. We ran away because... because..."

"Because of that!" Hikaru budged in. "Because we love eachother! Do you understand Kaoru? We ran away because we love eachother!"

"BUT!" Kaoru shouted as he turned around to face Hikaru, with tears strolling down his face and feeling pitiful. "I'm not supposed to be like this! Love is for idiots! I'm not supposed to be an idiot!"

"You're not an idiot."

"Yes I am!"

"Kaoru it's okay."

Kaoru shook his head and Hikaru wrapped his arms around the younger and pulled him into a hug and they dropped the bag to the ground.

"No it's not," Kaoru sobbed as he shook his head as it was buried in Hikaru's shirt. "It's not okay, Hikaru."

"Yes it is."

"We can never go back now."

Hikaru sighed, "I know, we were never planning on it."

Kaoru wrapped his arms around Hikaru and dug his fingernails into Hikaru's skin and pulled him close and Kaoru began sobbing and crying, the most Hikaru'd seen out of him yet. Kaoru wasn't even this clingy the night before.

"I wanna see Tama," Kaoru whimpered. "Now I can't. Don't you want to see Haruhi, Hun-"

"We already went over this, Kaoru. We'll see them-"

"I don't want to now!" Kaoru pratically shouted. "I feel dirty and scared and..."

Hikaru growled, "Then why the hell did you do it?"

Kaoru was silent for a moment.

"Because I wanted to. It felt good," Kaoru admitted.

"Which is why I did it too, you don't have to feel ashamed," Hikaru soothed.

"Why not?"

"Because you love me, and I love you. It's what lovers do," Hikaru continued to soothe, hoping to calm the crying boy, he hated to see him in pain, it drove just as much pain onto him, if not more. "Now come on Kaoru, you're killing me, try to smile for me. Smile for big brother."

Kaoru removed his head and stared at Hikaru through his red and bleary eyes, and finally smiled.

"Okay," Kaoru nodded. "Let's go."

That's how Kaoru realized that life might not be a tool, a cruel tool that just hardens it's toy clay pieces that are just going to burn in the furnace. No, life might actually be something good, and maybe there's more than listening to parents, more than religion, more than just breathing and hurting and bleeding. By bleeding, you were sure you were alive.

What Hikaru didn't know, was that Kaoru tested himself every night.

Just to make sure it was all real.

Hikaru still thought they were scarrs.


	11. Sick and Twisted

Kaoru and Hikaru had begun to finally understand what to do to get money, and not by stealing it.

"Aren't we cute?" They chimed to a couple young ladies as they past. Kaoru had "found" some very expensive hair dye and they both used them, and dressed in some wild clothes Kaoru made from scraps they found in a dumpster when passing. The younger boy had a thing with finding crap that no one could ever want and turning them into something beautiful, because that's he was too, Hikaru had figured out since the hotel incident. Kaoru was worthless, he was stepped on, he was crap, yet Hikaru wanted him, and to Hikaru, Kaoru was beautiful, and that made Kaoru happy. The older boy had finally noticed the sudden burst of charisma.

It made him feel sick most of the time. He didn't know why.

"Aww! Kawaii! Were you two born that way?" One of the girls replied as she stopped.

"Hey! Mom said don't talk to strangers!" The other girl snapped as she turned around and headed back for what seemed to be her sister. This must've been the older sibling, by looks and by attitude. More experienced, more developed. "Did you hear me?"

"Oh, Gomen," The two apologized as they took a syncronized bow.

It was Hikaru's idea to show off how alike they were. Kaoru wasn't fond of it. Kaoru preferred not to appeal, but to steal, to get what he wanted. There was something about people that made him shiver, made him cringe even when he didn't know it, it scared Hikaru sometimes. He had a strong urge to hold him, like he'd lose him somehow, that was a feeling unknown to Hikaru, and he ignored it. Still, no matter what, Kaoru was more upset about them showing off that they were twins, they could get caught, but was there something more to it?

Kaoru was becoming unreadable.

It scared his brother.

"Aww! See? Aren't they kawaii?" The younger sister shrieked as the two took their bows together.

"I'm sorry boys, but my sister is a little crazy, I apologize," The older continued as she tried to pull her sister away. "Don't do that! It's bad."

Bad.

Kaoru frowned, and the synchronization was gone, and Kaoru's stomach was fluttering so much, he didn't even want it back.

"Crazy people make the world fun," Hikaru replied, a smile lighting up his face.

Kaoru averted Hikaru's eyes with a shifty gaze. "Y-yeah..."

"Oh my god..." The younger whispered suddenly, her eyes wide.

"What?" The older asked.

"It's... it's... don't you see it? Look at them!" The younger exclaimed, trying to get at the two and she finally got out and ran over to Kaoru. "It's the Hitachiin twins everyone's looking for! See? This is Kaoru! Remember? That neighbor kid who never cried?"

"I don't like to remember my past, c'mon Hikaru, they know us, let's go," Kaoru snapped, not even grabbing Hikaru's hand when he started to walk away.

"Kaoru," Hikaru argued. "They're not gonna-"

"Let's go."

"Hey! Listen to me! We can-"

"Bye."

His eyes widened and he watched Kaoru walk away. Something shook him, and he suddenly realized what made Kaoru's parents hurt him, there was something about him that made you so mad, it irritated even the calmest stomach. That kid had an urge about him that shook everyone in it's midst.

What was it though? Arrogance?

Yes, Kaoru had a field of arrogance. Why didn't Hikaru notice it before? It wasn't there when he first fell in love with the boy, he wasn't like this when they were children, Kaoru was this and Kaoru wasn't that, it didn't make any sense, or did it? Kaoru was abused, and it changed him, for the worst from what Hikaru could see, and suddenly he was boiling, wanting to slap Kaoru for even thinking for a moment that he could live without Hikaru. Hikaru had all the money! That idiot!

"You'll die," Hikaru shouted calmly.

"Fine."

To slap him, to strangle him, to knock some sense into him, the older boy would give anything to something to that little idiot, that numbskull. His fingers twitched.

"Kaoru-kun? Don't you remember me?" The younger girl asked. "You had a crush on me? But I never knew until you moved away, because you never talked to anyone? Don't you remember? We've missed you a lot! We won't turn you in! I promise! Just stay with us for awhile, we'll take care of you! Your step parents that got taken away that time are back! They're okay now! They don't hit anymore!"

"Shut up," Kaoru snapped. "I don't want to know you."

"Why are you such an ass?" Hikaru hissed as he ran up to the younger boy and grabbed him in a headlock. "Say you're sorry!"

"YOU!" Kaoru snarled. "Let go of me."

"I'll let go of you when you get an attitude adjustment!"

"Then be damn prepared to hold me like this for a long time!"

An urge struck over the young boy, to bite Hikaru, so he could get out. No matter what, Kaoru refused to do it. He refused to hurt that person any more, he refused to bite him, to scream at him, to hate him. He did all those things regardless, he was just trying to move still, nothing clicked in his brain. All he knew was he was living. That's all that mattered anyway, it's all you needed to live, just a conciousness of life, like anything else mattered?

"Let go," Kaoru grunted. "Don't make me hurt you."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Don't act like you know me."

The sisters share a glance and they started to walk away.

"Well, hopefully we'll see you sometime," The older called as the two walked off.

"Yeah!" Hikaru shouted as a goodbye. "Hopefully."

"You don't even know them," Kaoru hissed. "You're trying to take my friends now too?"

"What?"

"You take everything, I thought you were different, but you're not. You're just like everyone else!"

"And what are they like? Good?"

Kaoru closed his eyes as tears threatened to hit the edge and he pushed on his brother's arms, trying to free himself. He couldn't breathe, but it wasn't because of the headlock. It was his concience again, but Kaoru's had a twisted view to it, because everything Kaoru did was wrong, and everything they did was right. Kaoru's arms stung and he regretted ever hurting himself, to make sure it was real. Of course it was real. It was all too good to be true, and now Kaoru realized what it was.

He avoided the truth that he loved him. As long as he did that, he could hate him.

"Leave me alone," Kaoru hissed. "Go off and turn yourself in, you have a good life."

Hikaru brought Kaoru down onto the ground and he held Kaoru in his lap, the ground wet and damp from the clouds all around, beckoning rain to come down, and surely enough, the rain danced around the twins after not too long. Hikaru rested Kaoru's head under his own and he held Kaoru tightly as he leaned forward over their bent bodies and began sobbing, sobbing deeply, and crying hard enough to be able to be crying for both of them. Technically he was. Hikaru was crying for Kaoru, he was crying about Kaoru, he was sick of it.

"I love you," Hikaru choked. "I won't leave you that easily."

It amazed Kaoru, and it pissed him off. _"I love you." "It's all going to be okay." "I promise, I'm not like the others." "You can trust me." _

It was all the same, he heard it from everyone he crossed paths with, and they always got pissed at him, they always thought he was an arrogant bastard, they thought Kaoru was too full of himself. That was a load. Kaoru had no self-esteem, it was pounded into the ground, and so he purposefully acted this way to shake people off so they couldn't get close to him, they couldn't hurt him, and it had always worked before.

This boy was hard to shake off, and it wasn't the first person Kaoru didn't want to shake off.

Either way, it was just a way to avoid the inevitable, one day Hikaru'd get pissed, one day he'd hit Kaoru, and when he did, Kaoru wouldn't hesitate on leaving anymore. It was just like every story he'd gone through, life just liked repeating itself, repeating Kaoru's misfortune, and he'd learned to accept it for what it was, and get off of people what he wanted, and then leave them there. Kaoru was praying that Hikaru would just have let him walk off, let him die all on his own, let him end his suffering, but no. Hikaru had to stick by Kaoru through thick and thin, and it hurt, because it actually seemed like Hikaru loved Kaoru. That was the crime in it all, life was having some fun, being the puppet master again, torturing Kaoru again, making him feel loved when he was just going to get hurt. This was the last straw. Kaoru had to realize he loved Hikaru.

He knew he loved him.

He didn't want to believe it.

But he did.

If... when Hikaru hurt Kaoru, that was going to be it, that was going to be the final straw, the marker at the end of the road, when Hikaru hurt Kaoru, Kaoru was going to give up, he was going to gave in, he was going to die. It didn't matter. That little other word kept popping up in place of "when" however, and Kaoru wondered if he was just as crazy as Hikaru at moments, because the word "if" kept popping up into the context of the sentence. "If" Hikaru hurt Kaoru.

"Get away from me," Kaoru finally hissed, his body wanting to lie limp there in those arms. "Stop lying to me."

"You think I'm lying?" Hikaru hissed right back, his arms aching, but holding Kaoru inside of his fortress. "Is that what the hell this is all about?"

"I know you're lying," Kaoru snapped, pushing Hikaru away and the two were struggling, Kaoru pushing, Hikaru pulling. They were opposites, they were the same, they were unique in their own way, they were unique together. Twins were confusing. Kaoru didn't want one. "Let me go..."

"No!" Hikaru snarled as he pulled Kaoru harder. "You're staying with me! I want you! I need you!"

"Since when?" Kaoru shouted, the streets were barren now, it was night, and all the ganstas and punks and clubbers and prostitutes were inside, there was no way even they would be outside in this horrible rain, it was one of the worst of the season. Yet, here these two sat, struggling over something intangible yet so real, their love.

"Since I gave everything up!" Hikaru screamed at him. "I had the perfect life! Everything was great! Then YOU came! YOU messed everything up! This is all YOUR fault! Can't you see that? YOU messed everything up, YOU destroyed everything that was coming for me!"

"So why are you here?" Kaoru snarled. "You can get back if you go now."

Kaoru was now on top of Hikaru, pinning him to the ground, and both of the boys breathing heavily, and Hikaru closed his eyes, he couldn't think like that right now, he couldn't think about the way he breathed, the way he moved.

"Why would I do that?" Hikaru chuckled.

"Hm?"

"Why would I leave you to go back to that?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kaoru growled.

The slightest twitch of the leg sent a blush onto Hikaru's face. Not in this situation, Hikaru couldn't think about that, he couldn't think about the way he moved, the way he twitched, the way he smiled, the way he laughed. The way he was worthless, yet Hikaru was addicted to him.

"I gave it all up for you, doesn't that tell you anything? Don't think I'm like them," Hikaru hissed. "I'll give everything up to be with you, okay? I gave up my friends, my family, my whole life. I'll give more up too, I'll give my skin, my blood, my breath. I'll give everything for you. Just so you know that I love you, alright? I'll never leave you, unless I'm dead, someone can kidnap you, and I'll be right there, trying to save you, pratically killing myself to get you back. I'll be screaming and fighting if I'm the one kidnapped. They can't seperate us, and I won't let you try to kill yourself because you don't want to admit it. You don't want to admit you love me. You don't want to believe it's real."

Kaoru twitched and he clenched his teeth. He slipped.

Hikaru read him.

His stomach churned, and his eyelids weakened, and his throat choked, and his eyes watered, everything was breaking, everything was crumbling, all of it was falling, all of it. Why was it all breaking? Because this man had hit him right on the head. It wasn't a smack. It was a playful slap, a slap to tell you that it was real, and that he should stop dreaming and come to him, that his arms were open. It was too good to be true, and Kaoru wasn't going to believe it. Kaoru wasn't going to slip up anymore, he wasn't going to cuddle up to him, Kaoru was going to fight for what he wanted. What did he want? What he was going for would only lead to the downfall of his life, something he'd prayed for all time. Kaoru had always prayed and begged to die, it's what really made his second dad go crazy.

Kamimoto didn't hate Kaoru, not in the least bit. Kaoru's crying, his hating, everything he did, he basically screamed out for someone to get rid of him, and that's what happened. Kamimoto didn't want to see him suffer, and it was all a game to them, a sick twisted game. As long as Kamimoto would pretend that he was trying to kill Kaoru, Kaoru would willingly follow, _accidentally _getting in the line of fire.

Why did Kaoru want to die back then?

* * *

_"I want him," Kaoru sobbed. "I want my big brudders. I want Hika-chan, I want Tama-chan."_

_Kamimoto held Kaoru closer to him, letting Kaoru sob into his coat._

_"It's okay, you'll see them again someday," He tried to reassure. "It's okay, you can stay with me, and we'll live happily here, we can go visit them, even! In a few years, we can go live with them again, just after the government thinks you're gone."_

_"I dun wanna," Kaoru cried. "I dun wanna see him again!"_

_"What?"_

_"I want mommy!" Kaoru whimpered and whined. "I dun want this! I want mommy! I want daddy!"_

_"They're there too, we can-"_

_"I want MY mommy! Not OUR mommy!"_

_Kamimoto held his breath before he asked in a low voice, already dreading what Kaoru would say, somehow almost knowing the context of it, "What do you want me to do about it Kaoru? Hmmm? What can I do that would make all of this better?"_

_"I wanna die."_

_"How come?"_

_"I worthwess, that what other mommy says to me," Kaoru replied, still sniffling, but not quite as much. "He no miss me, Hika-chan won't. If Hika-chan don't want me, I dun wanna live no mores, I want him."_

_"What if... I'd kill you for yourself?" The father suggested, his stomach tightening and his eyes watering, not wanting to lose this child he had just found. Kamimoto scooted Kaoru closer to him on his lap and he held him and bend his head over him and sobbed, he sobbed over what he was going to do for this child, and sobbing over losing this child. He had finally found someone who would stick with him._

_"Come with?" Kaoru whispered. "I wike you."_

_The man smiled and nodded as he held the boy close to him. He'd kill Kaoru, and then he'd kill himself, that sounded fair, that sounded reasonable. Anything to stop this pain for this child, a little child shouldn't be feeling this way, and he knew from experience that therapy didn't work the right, it had turned his brother insane, into a psycho maniac, and he didn't want Kaoru to go insance, so he'd do this for him. A little favor. "Okay, I'll come with you. We'll both die, okay?"_

_"Yeah..." Kaoru whispered. "Okay."_

_He wasn't mean at all, just fufilling a child's wish. A sick and twisted child._

_"Dun mess up," Kaoru warned, pulling away and gazing into the older man's eyes. "You no mess up, 'kay?"_

_"What?"_

_"Let us... play a game," Kaoru started. "I try to get away, you try to get me, and I, 'oops', get in way, so I die, 'den you die, too. It's a game, 'kay? No one knows, so it a game. I run away, you get me, 'kay?"_

_"...okay," Kamimoto whispered. "A game? So you run away and try to live, while I try to get you, like a bad guy. You act like you don't want to die, and you pretend to be innocent, and then I shoot you, and they get me, so I die as well from execution? Is that the game?"_

_"Get many as can," Kaoru added. "That more fun?"_

_He sighed and shook his head. "If they get in the way."_

_"'kay! Wen we start?"_

_A sick and twisted game, all imagined by a psycho child and slowly cut into a man's open mind. Hating to see him in pain, he opened himself up, and Kaoru planted what he wanted in the place and created a serial killer. Was it really Kaoru's intent?_

* * *

"Here," Blossom whispered as she handed Kaoru a cup of hot cocoa, Hikaru had already taken his. "It's alright, it's not poisoned or anything."

Kaoru's frail hand grasped it, and he brought it to his lips, his lip being scorched by the hotness of it.

"Mine's kind of cold," Hikaru whispered to Kaoru. "I like the warmer ones, wanna switch?"

"Whatever."

The twins switched their hot cocoas, and Kaoru was grateful he got the one he did, but he wasn't going to let it show. This was a game as well, everything in Kaoru's life had to be a game or it couldn't be and wasn't interesting. Hikaru was trying to get Kaoru to open, and Kaoru couldn't give in, no matter how much he wanted to. No matter how much Hikaru cuddled up to him, no matter how many times he kissed him, touched him, licked him, made his nervous system go out of wack for split seconds of pleasure, he wasn't going to give in. Kaoru was a master at games, and it always ended the way he wanted them to. Now he was playing three games.

Run away and not caught, he had Hikaru as a partner in that one.

Not give up and give in to Hikaru's teasing and pleasurable torture techniques.

Be a fox and dodge, but eventually get killed, that was how he won. He knew he'd won when he couldn't feel anymore, when it was all gone, when everything was better.

Kaoru was playing three games, and none of them were games to the surrounding people, Kaoru's mind was sick, Kaoru's mind was twisted, Kaoru was psycho. It didn't matter to Kaoru though, because they were all games, all childish games, none of them meant any harm to anyone else, so why should Kaoru's games be of any concern to anyone outside of the players? Hikaru was a torturer as well as a companion, Kamimoto was a hunter, and him and the other people were the bait. Kaoru liked that one, it included a bunch of people, but he'd never get in trouble for it. He realized the truth behind that game a few years after it started, and he loved it. That game got his blood flowing, and the true evil behind it excited him, thrilled him, made his adrenaline rush. He was a mastermind in the making.

Or, a mastermind getting smarter.

Blossom was Mabel's older sister, and their parents had died, so Blossom took care of Mabel and the bills, she even had a job. Still, the sisters followed by the rules their parents had left them, they always followed a normal household set of rules.

They girls had remet Kaoru and Hikaru earlier in the day and knew who they were by recognizing Kaoru from her past. Kaoru had had a crush on Mabel, or so everyone had said. That was the fun in it. Kaoru didn't really care about her, he just pretended he did, back then he didn't care about her, he just wanted to be alone. Of course, getting someone close to him meant they were closer to the hunter, and Kaoru's new goal back then was to get more prey close to him so they could be shot out.

Kyoya wasn't supposed to be there that day, back then. Kaoru began to wonder to himself why those people were so different. They weren't prey to him. Those people were... friends, yes, they were from his old life, his past, and he didn't want to lose them, he didn't want them to die. Hikaru wasn't prey either.

Oh God, if Kamimoto killed Kaoru, Kaoru would force himself to live by himself. Kaoru would give up the game if Hikaru was killed by it, he would do so if any of his "friends" died, because they all meant so much to him. Those people weren't pawns, they weren't dolls, they weren't prey, they were people. Kaoru cared about them, no matter how much he'd deny it to anyone. Sure, he met some new people, but they were his "friends" no matter what. Nekozawa and Kyoya were now his friends as well. All of them meant something to Kaoru, and they were close to his heart, and he'd live and torture himself if anything bad ever happened.

"Guys, we only have one extra bed, but we can get a futon or something, but it won't be as comfortable," Blossom explained as she sat down infront of them, her hazel eyes peering into them, trying to find something, she had long brown hair, and it shocked Hikaru that she looked like Haruhi with a wig, just a bit different.

"We-" Hikaru started.

"We'll sleep together," Kaoru interrupted.

Something shocked up Kaoru, and he knew what it was. Kaoru had those surges often, those painful little clutches. Kaoru wanted him, so badly. It was true, Kaoru did want Hikaru inside of him in any and every way possible. He wasn't going to admit that though, he wasn't going to give up this game just because his pleasure drive went out of wack, and Hikaru was Kaoru's nicotine, Hikaru was the one thing that made the pleasure part of his brain function. It was all he could do to keep his hands off of the older one.

Kaoru smirked at his older brother.

Somehow, Hikaru got the picture.

_"Tonight doesn't count."_

Soon, Hikaru smirked back, and they were mirror images again.

The two got everything put together, and they never put their shirts on after the shower. This family didn't have much hot water, so to spare it as much as possible, Kaoru and Hikaru took a shower together, and like Kaoru got across, that night didn't count. It was off the chart. It didn't matter that Kaoru gave in, it didn't matter that Kaoru couldn't keep his hands off of Hikaru's body, and Hikaru had the same problem. It also didn't matter that Kaoru had wandering hands, and it didn't matter that he kissed Hikaru various times, and each time more forceful, like the other's lips were trying to devour the others with each passionate kiss.

The two now lay in the bed, feeling ackward after that... shower experience.

With his usual quirk, Kaoru decided he'd try something. Something fun.

Get Hikaru to groan.

It was fun, and just thinking about it made him giggle.

Kaoru snuggled up to Hikaru and placed his hand on Hikaru's bare stomach and brought it down to the other side of Hikaru's body and stroked it along the elder's side and his fingers fell down to Hikaru's waistband.

"Kaoru, knock it off," Hikaru hissed. "This isn't a hotel, this is a house."

"Pish-posh," Kaoru chuckled.

Kaoru slipped two fingers under the band and got what he was going for.

"Mmmnn, Kaoru, stop," Hikaru moaned.

New objective.

Make Hikaru crazy for him.

Kaoru smiled and brought his lips to Hikaru's stomach as he started to climb on him, his hand slipping down the waistband entirely, and Hikaru moaned and groaned. This was going to be easy, and it was going to be fun.

"Concrete walls," Kaoru reassured. "You're at my mercy now."


	12. Smile for the Gun

**Note: Now we see the usual Hitachiin brotherly love, hehe**

* * *

Kaoru was psychotic.

Hikaru loved it, oh so much.

"You're a bastard," Hikaru huffed as they layed together, a deep blush across his face. "What are you trying to do to me?"

"Nothing, darling brother," Kaoru whispered, his face snuggled in Hikaru's chest. He smiled and decided to wait, see what would happen if he stopped, even for a split second. Kaoru was hoping that Hikaru would spazz and try to get Kaoru to start up again. Hikaru twitched. Bingo. "What's wrong, darling? Hate me when I'm still?"

"I don't hate you," Hikaru whispered, wrapped his arms around Kaoru's frail, skinny body and placed his hands on Kaoru's head, his fingers entwined with his hair. This made Kaoru smile, so far Hikaru was exactly where he wanted him, in the palm of his hand. He liked that. "Why'd you stop moving?"

"Why?"

"I like you when you move."

"Ohhh?"

"I love it when you move, rather."

Kaoru smirked. "Are you crazy for me?"

Hikaru huffed and thought about it for a moment, his mind partially fogged, Kaoru was way too wild, but he enjoyed. "Yeah. Damn crazy. Now come on, don't make me go to sleep now! Don't do that to me!"

That was an interesting thought. Make someone go to sleep just when you've riled them up.

Kaoru smirked.

He liked that idea.

Of course, Kaoru was riled up himself, and he didn't want to rest, so he moved his hand back down to Hikaru's waist and grinned at the blush that crept across the older brother's face.

"What's wrong darling?" Kaoru cooed as he brought his face to Hikaru's stomach and licked his abs up to the middle of his chest. "You said you liked it when I move. Oh wait, you said you loved it when I moved."

Hikaru blushed and groaned a bit, this was a feat for Kaoru, and it excited him, and he wanted more. He wanted to see Hikaru writhe, he wanted Hikaru to want him, to need him, to beg for him. That's what Kaoru wanted, and he was determined to get it, no matter what it all took to get there. His tongue was moist, despite all the licking he'd done, and it made Hikaru shudder to feel the boy's saliva on his skin, and Kaoru quite liked it when Hikaru shuddered, he was rather addicted to it.

Eventually, Kaoru got brave again, and his hands started wandering.

"Kaoru!" Hikaru groaned. "I told you! This is a house! Not a hotel!"

Not good enough, Kaoru had to increase it to make Hikaru even more addicted to him, so Hikaru would cave in first in their little game, tonight, Kaoru had, but Kaoru was determined to stand tall, tonight just didn't count, it was off record.

The younger's mouth was on the older's, and their tongues kept touching, and it made Hikaru's blush deepen until it forced Kaoru's adrenaline to flow, and it flowed quite a lot as finally he went to Hikaru's neck. Hikaru wrapped his arms around his brother, their bodies collapsing together and melting, and Kaoru's hands stopped wandering for a moment as he took in the full warmth of his twin brother, it was peaceful. Almost enough to make Kaoru fall asleep, had not he remembered his game. Hikaru wasn't crazy enough, yet. Kaoru never backed down on one of his games, and if he did, then he'd die, he needed to win this game. He always got what he wanted.

"You're cute," Kaoru whispered, nipping Hikaru's neck. "Like a puppy."

"You don't molest puppies," Hikaru cursed.

"Molest? Oh no darling, you should be much more worried than that," Kaoru laughed. "Rather, don't be worried at all, I can control myself, honestly darling, don't worry so much, it's all going to be okay."

Kaoru was starting to doubt his "I can control myself" theory.

The feel of his skin, the heat of his breath, the caress of his hands, Kaoru melted and he lay there for a while, until Hikaru's hands wandered under his pants. Kaoru's hairs on his neck stood up, this was a new twist. Kaoru was supposed to be the dominant one tonight, not Hikaru. Hikaru got to last time.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kaoru snapped.

"I can't resist," Hikaru explained. "I'm sorry, Kaoru."

A smile slipped on Kaoru's face and he licked Hikaru's neck and began to try to give him a hickey.

"What's that for?" Hikaru whined.

"You're mine," Kaoru whispered. "I want you to remember that."

"I know-ahh."

Kaoru smiled.

"You're mine. Now and forever."

* * *

"Sis? I think they're doing naughty things," Mabel argued. "I don't want Kaoru-kun with Hikaru-san, I want Kaoru-kun with us, I still have a crush on him."

"Oh shush your whining," Blossom laughed. "I think it's interesting."

"You think homosexuality is... interesting?" Mabel asked, amused at her sister.

"No, I think this... incest is interesting. Ha, twincest if you will," She joked. "Yes, I rather like that word, I will have to tell Renge-chan that one. We make up fun words for this all the time, I think she will rather like the story I have to tell her. I had identical homo male twins make out in my house. Incest with twins! Twincest! It's a little... twist. You know? So if they do something more in here, I can-"

"Is that really something to brag about?"

"Perhaps. To crazy screaming fangirls."

"Do you want them to do something more?"

"Well I g-" Blossom started.

"HIKARU!" Kaoru shouted.

Mabel's face fell red before she asked, "Was that a scream of pleasure, pain, or both?"

Blossom grinned.

"I think... it's better if you don't know."

* * *

"...Hikaru..." Kaoru snarled as he pinned his elder brother to the bed. "I said I'm going to be dominant tonight, okay?"

Hikaru whimpered, "Fine, but don't you think they'll be mad-"

"Mad at us for doing _something _in their house? Oh, Blossom-chan isn't like that, maybe Mabel-chan, but not Bloss-chan," Kaoru chuckled. "Yes, it's true, you are completely at my mercy, and I won't show you much now for what you just did. Keep your hand out of my pants, okay, Hikaru?"

"Fine."

A smile passed the youngers lips and he kissed his brothers forehead.

"I love you," Kaoru whispered, his lips still on the boy.

"I love... you too," Hikaru huffed.

"Damn straight you do," Kaoru cussed as he brought his lips to meet Hikaru's and the bodies struggled on the bed, Hikaru trying to get on top of Kaoru, and Kaoru trying not to lose his dominant stance. This was one of those nights where no rules went, Kaoru could do what he wanted, he could cry, he could whine, he could bite, and he could snarl. It was all the same. It was off record. "Say it again."

"I... love you," Hikaru squeaked again through the kisses.

"Good."

Hikaru had finally struggled Kaoru down to be underneath him, but the two couldn't keep their mouths off eachother and Kaoru was taking off Hikaru's pants and vice versa, when it struck Hikaru that maybe they shouldn't do this, maybe he should leave Kaoru's pants on.

That didn't stop Kaoru, he'd already pulled Hikaru's pants off and now the elder lay naked and bare on top of his brother.

Hikaru pouted and scowled, "Good night."

"Noo," Kaoru whined, "Don't do this to me."

"I am."

Kaoru's arms wrapped around the older brother and he began to cry a bit.

"Please don't do this to me."

"You're a good mock crier, you know that?" Hikaru teased.

"Come on!" Kaoru whimpered. "I don't... I don't want to stop."

Hikaru smirked.

"Wanna go the extra mile?"

"I have to go the extra mile, just please, don't do that to me."

Hikaru met Kaoru's forehead with his own, and then a kiss.

"How about we switch roles again?" Hikaru asked in a whisper. "You get some later, and I got some now, sound fair?"

"Fine," Kaoru huffed. "Just do something to me!"

"Oh, I'll do something."

* * *

Hikaru lay with Kaoru snuggling up to him, neither of them in clothes.

"You did," Blossom whispered as she walked in. "Right?"

Hikaru blushed and nodded, afraid of a scolding.

"Way cool!" She squealed. "I had twincest in my house!"

Blossom pranced out of the room, shutting the door and she squealed.

"Why are you so happy?" Came Mabel's voice.

"They did! They did! In the bed! In OUR house! Oh! Renge-chan's gonna love this!" Blossom squealed.

Hikaru's heart almost stopped. Renge?

Renge was one of the managers of the Host Club that Tamaki ran... that meant if Blossom told, she'd have an idea of where they were.

"WAIT!" Hikaru shouted as he pulled Kaoru out of the bed with him, using the blanket as a wrap around them. He dashed out into the hall and recieved awful stares from Blossom and Mabel. "You can't tell Renge-chan until after we leave!"

"Ah, but this is so exciting," Blossom groaned. "That's so mean, Hika-kun."

"Mnn, Hikaru?" Kaoru asked as he opened his eyes, his body thrown up against Hikaru's under the blanket. "What's going on?"

Kaoru looked around and blushed, his eyes widening.

"Why are we in the hall? Why don't I have any clothes on? Why-"

"Just please! Don't tell Renge-chan until we leave, she could call the police, or someone could hear her, and then they'd call the police and they'd know where we were and get us before we could even leave! You wouldn't want that to happen to the twins that just _slept _your house, right?" Hikaru tried to wager. "That'd be just cruel to do to us. You know, you'd be looked down on by major otakus and fangirls everywhere."

Blossom sighed and waved her hand, "Fine, fine, I won't tell until after you leave."

Hikaru grinned, "Thanks!"

Kaoru scowled, he hadn't gotten his answer yet, and with his naked body pressed against Hikaru's naked body in the hallway and they were covered in blanket, Kaoru figured that he deserved to know as soon as possible.

"Long story," Hikaru shrugged. "Don't worry about it."

Right, like Kaoru couldn't worry about it.

Hikaru and Kaoru went back to the room and layed down on the bed together, and Kaoru was snuggled up to his older brother, smiling and sighing, he didn't want to leave, because if he left, then he'd go back to playing his game. Infact, it was supposed to go back into effect when Kaoru went to sleep, but he delayed it after he woke up pressed to another naked man, especially the man he was madly in love with and had broken the rules for the night previous. Kaoru's arms were wrapped around Hikaru, and Hikaru's were wrapped around Kaoru and he stroked Kaoru's hair and laughed. He rolled over and so did Kaoru and he gazed into his younger brother's eyes.

"You have beautiful eyes, your golden eyes are prettier than gold," Hikaru flattered.

"You flirt," Kaoru whispered. "You know, yours shine a bit brighter, mine have a dark shadow to them."

Hikaru grinned and replied, "I know, and that's why I love them so much."

"Hikaru..."

"Kaoru..."

Something clicked in their heads, and a sharp smile spread across their faces.

"How shall we get caught, brother?" Kaoru asked.

"Good question, brother," Hikaru teased.

"Shall I steal again? Hmm?"

"Or how about a ransom?"

Kaoru smiled greatly and nodded, exclaiming, "I like the ransom one!"

"Who'll we steal..." They both muttered. They thought of all the people in the world and it all set down on one person... Tamaki. Only, Tamaki wasn't there... but he could be. "Ooh! Grand idea, brother!"

Kaoru quickly called Tamaki up on his cell, and in moments, Tamaki was on his way to the city closest to Kaoru, for Kaoru and Hikaru to go meet him. What he didn't expect was to be ambushed and to have him taken a hostage for the police. The thought of it all made Kaoru giddy, and Hikaru thought maybe he'd give it away with all the looks Mabel and Blossom were giving him, but of course, Blossom was a yaoi fangirl or something, so she must've assumed that night had been what caused him to be so happy and hyper. Fangirls scared Hikaru most of the time, and he wasn't very good friends with Renge because of that.

"Kaoru? I'm here," Tamaki told Kaoru.

"Oh! Almost there, brother," Kaoru explained as he hung up his phone. Now that they left, Blossom had probably told Renge, so the police here were informed of the two troublemakers. The whole thought of it made Kaoru proud of himself, he truly was a criminal mastermind.

"Kao!" Tamaki exclaimed at the sight of his brother.

"Tama!" Kaoru cheered. "Thanks so much! I didn't know what I was going to do when Hikaru stranded me, I thought I was a goner! He was the one who pulled me into this idiotic scheme in the first place."

Tamaki and Kaoru shared an embrace and Hikaru saw his target, police officers.

"KAORU!" Hikaru shouted as he saw they were going to shoot him with a neutralizer.

Kaoru ducked, barely avoiding the needle and grabbed Tamaki and held a knife to his throat, a knife he held in his hand the whole time. Sure, it cut his hand, but it was so totally worth it for this plan. Tamaki didn't struggle or say anything, he was just shocked that this was in fact his little brother, the little brother he loved so much. Love can get ahold of you if you don't know that another love is beating against yours, for the other love might just be stronger than yours and stab you in the back, which leads to a horrible outcome. This wasn't going to, though, for everything was going just as planned.

"Kao! You're a criminal!" Tamaki shouted as they set him down inside a warehouse they'd gotten by locking some guys out when Kaoru "snitched" the keys from their pockets while they were working and taking coffee breaks.

"Am not," Kaoru hissed. "Not yet."

"Not ever," Hikaru scowled. "You're not turning into a criminal young man."

"Blah blah, did you leave the ransom?"

"Yup, right where we planned it."

"Good, good. Do you think they'll notice?"

"You left the bloody knife there, right? It'll be evidence. Of course they'll notice it."

Kaoru nodded and replied, "Good, all according to plan."

"So..."

"What now?"

Hikaru and Kaoru laughed, but Tamaki didn't see what was so funny. First he hears his long lost brother is coming home, he sees his brother, his brother hates him, his brother loves him, then he runs off, and two weeks later he hears from him again, so he goes to meet him and gets kidnapped, and now these idiots were sitting here, laughing! They could be arrested for what they were doing to Tamaki!

"Oh darling, is your hand alright?" Hikaru soothed as he licked some of the remaining wet blood off of Kaoru's palm.

"Oh... Hikaru..." Kaoru blushed. "It's okay now."

"Kaoru..." Hikaru cooed.

"Hikaru..." Kaoru cried.

Either way, the two were flirting, in a moment like this.

"We've thought it over!" Came a voice over a loud speaker and Hikaru and Kaoru turned towards the garage door and Kaoru smiled and whispered that he had an idea. "Please assure us that the hostage is safe?"

"Because you know I'd do it!" Kaoru shouted. "Go on, Suoh-san, tell them you're alive."

Why was Kaoru acting so negatively to his big brother?

"I'm okay!" Tamaki shouted, then he whispered to Kaoru. "Kao, what's going on? What's happened to you?"

Kaoru looked at him and smiled.

"Lots of things, dearest brother."

This was something new to Hikaru as well, though he was getting used to it by now. Kaoru was dark and caniving when he wanted to be, and cute, handsome, and innocent when he watned to be, unfortunately for the confused Tamaki, Kaoru wasn't being a nice person at that point in time.

A man walked to the open door and Kaoru aimed a gun at him and shot before he could. The man fell backwards, a gaping wound in his shoulder, and himself gasping for breath. Kaoru wasn't sure if he shot the heart or not, he was hoping he didn't, but Kaoru didn't take time to aim and he always did his best no matter what. Tamaki and Hikaru were taken aback, because Kaoru knew how to shoot a gun! Worse yet, he had a gun on him! He shot a police officer!

"Don't take me lightly," Kaoru shouted. "I'll kill if I have to, I want to make this peaceful. The door was open for a negotiater, if you don't have one, then fine. I'll just kill every last one of you."

It was silent for a while.

"We're sending one, just don't shoot."

A man walked into the room and he walked close to Kaoru and around him and sat down.

"So what do I-"

Kaoru's gun was at his forehead.

"Drop it," Kaoru hissed.

Suddenly, Tamaki and Hikaru heard a -_clank!_- and they looked to see that the man had a gun and was ready to shoot Kaoru at any given moment, but Kaoru got ahead of him. The man scowled and whispered, "Fine, what do you want?"

"No charges for running away, my life back, no charges for... this, and I want to be able to go out whenever I want, no curfew."

"In exchange for...?"

"Your life!" Kaoru snarled, pressing the gun closer. "You're life, Suoh Tamaki's life, and all those men out there. Don't think I'm just a kid who thinks he's all hot with a gun and-"

Kaoru turned around and shot his gun at the door and another man fell flat, bleeding in place where a man was earlier, but a medic had quickly rushed him away. Kaoru's blood boiled and he was about ready to stop shooting in non-vital areas and to start shooting in the heart, head, and stomach, the places where Kaoru would surely make sure they'd die from being shot in. Kaoru wrapped a hand around the negotiators neck and brought their faces close, Kaoru's gun still aimed at the door, ready to shoot.

"Got any more games?" Kaoru hissed. "I'm the master of games. I ALWAYS win."

"Master of games?" The man scoffed. "I'm sure you aahhhh-"

Kaoru tightened his grip and he whispered through clenched teeth, "Don't try my patience."

"Give up your gun..." The man coughed.

Kaoru shot his gun again as two men came this time, and it went straight through one's shoulder, and into the other's arm. The barely injured soldier walked in, raising his gun to Kaoru's end and almost pulled the trigger when Kaoru smiled.

"Test it any more and you're gone," Kaoru snarled. "Try me."

The gun continued to raise and Kaoru turned around and pulled the trigger and the shot barely missed, but enough to distract the man and for Kaoru to pay attention to the negotiator again.

"All I want is to be free of charges for everything I've done so far, free to go where I want, and I want to go home," Kaoru whispered. "Is that really so hard, darlin'?"

The man sighed and whispered, "I guess not."

Kaoru smiled and walked over to Tamaki and grinned.

"You can go now, brother," Kaoru laughed.

"You were in this, Tamaki-sama?" The negotiator and injured soldier asked.

Tamaki shook his head.

"I am his brother, so I came to get him, but he took me away and then this happened," Tamaki explained.

Kaoru grabbed Hikaru's hand and smiled and whispered, "Let's go home."

* * *

"YOU RUN AWAY AND THEN ALMOST MURDER A WHOLE POLICE FORCE?" Yuzashima screamed at Kaoru and Hikaru as they sat on the couch, everyone around them. There was Kaoru's parents, Hikaru's parents, Haruhi, Hunny, Mori, Kyoya, and their parents. Tamaki and his parents were there as well.

Kaoru shrugged. "Yup, that's how it goes."

"Where'd you get a gun?" Hikaru wondered.

"Snitched it from that police when I was 'kidnapping' Tama," Kaoru explained, not even in the least bit fazed at the fact that he could go to jail.

"You're a theif too? A liar? A murderer?" Yuzashima sobbed as she collapsed into a chair. "What else don't I know."

"Master of Games?" Tamaki asked.

Kaoru glared at him, but softer than normal.

"Yes," Kaoru whispered. "I am the Master of Games, and that was a game."

"How was that a game?" Kyoya and Haruhi inquired.

"Mission: Get free of charges, Obstacle: Tricky Police officers. That's the main thing of the game. The game was to get free of charges without having to kill anyone, but if I had to, I would've, and then to go home," Kaoru explained, shrugging. "It's not that big of a deal."

"Kao-chan! You're like a criminal now," Hunny explained, tears forming at his eyes. "Did Hika-chan have anything to do with it?"

"Nope," Kaoru replied, slouching back into the couch. "Now if you don't mind, you're all giving me a tremendous headache."

"Even me?" Hikaru wondered.

Kaoru smiled and leaned close to him and snuggled his head.

"I dunno, we shouldn't have come back, hmm?" Kaoru teased.

"You are not allowed to-"

"I still have a gun, mother," Kaoru cooed. "And I'm psycho."

"It's true, he makes everything into a game, and if you're in the way you're gone. He's insane," Hikaru backed Kaoru up.

"How so?" Haruhi asked as everyone left and it was just the children there again.

"He makes the smallest thing into a game: retrieve that gun, get a hotel room for the night, spend as little money as possible-"

"Make you groan, make you crazy for me," Kaoru added.

"Wha-" Hikaru started as he turned to look at the boy who interrupted him. "That was what was going on?"

"Yup," Kaoru chuckled. "It worked too, you were wrapped around my finger."

The younger boy's eyes closed and he leaned into Hikaru and the elder wrapped his arm around Kaoru.

"I'm sleepy," Kaoru complained.

"Me too," Hikaru agreed.

"We triple that," Everyone else said.

"It's like, midnight, isn't it?" Haruhi groaned.

"Yes," Kyoya confirmed.

"We're going to bed," The twins waved everyone off.

"What? You don't live together," Tamaki complained.

"I can't sleep without him," They countered. "Been sleeping with him for two weeks, I can't sleep without him or think without him, so if you want us to both stay sane, I suggest you best let us go to sleep together."

Tamaki sighed, "Fine."

Kaoru and Hikaru crawled into bed together, and Kaoru cuddled up to Hikaru.

"You don't think any of those police died, do ya?" Hikaru asked worried.

Kaoru snarled and shook his head and shocked Hikaru with the next thing he said, and Hikaru was sure Kaoru was a psychopath.

"It's not on my concience, I don't have a one anymore."


	13. Horrible Person

Kaoru woke up to the sound of chirping birds and he stared out the window, himself alone in his bed and he stumbled to the closet and got dressed and stumbled down the stairs. It was hard to believe what he'd just done the other day, and it made him sick. He'd always planned something like that out, and it scared him that he tried it out for once, that he could've killed a person. Kaoru didn't ever want to do that again.

He walked into the kitchen to find a cold meal on the table and he sat down and began eating it slowly. Hikaru had been sent home last night, and Kaoru had trouble sleeping without him, it was getting tiring of hiding his true self, and he was starting to wonder if maybe he should show himself again, be himself again.

Everyone had always picked on Kaoru before.

_"You're such a girl."_

_"What's with that high voice?"_

_"You're so cute, are you sure you're a guy?"_

After tons of teasing in the public schools, Kaoru created this mask, and he'd been doing good at it, and it's not that he was beginning to slip it up, he was just getting tired of it all, pretending to be the bad guy. Kaoru wasn't a bad person. Quite the opposite, Kaoru was a good person, and he protected his friends, he protected Mabel from bullies and he really did have a crush on her, he just pretended he didn't to himself after hr began hiding himself. He'd been doing it so long, Kaoru had almost bought that that person was him, and he'd almost forgotten who he was. Now Kaoru remembered, all alone at a table, staring out at a pond with glistening water and lush green grass, blossoming trees sending their flowers fluttering all over. Kaoru stood up, leaving his fruit covered pancakes on the table and he stood on the little porch overlooking the pond, and he noticed ducks swimming in the pong. Yuzashima did a wonderful job at keeping her country home beautiful and natural.

The boy shook his head and walked down the stairs and outside, his shirt still off and his socks still on his bedroom floor. Kaoru was going to put them on, until he realized it didn't matter. Kaoru bent down and stared at his reflection and a knot caught in Kaoru's throat.

"Mom? Is it all right?" Kaoru asked no one in particular. "Can I show myself?"

Kaoru wasn't sure, but he didn't want to stay there, staring into that reflection, Kaoru was sick of it, how neat his hair was, how he kept make up on his face, and he walked into the bathroom, ruffling his hair and parting the front hair off to the right side and stared at his reflection. Kaoru finally noticed his amber eyes now that he had his contacts out. Kaoru always wore colored contacts to make his eyes glow, because there was a default in Kaoru and Hikaru, Hikaru had something wrong with his genes and not Kaoru's, so his eyes were more gold than amber, so Kaoru wore contacts to make himself look more like his brother.

Kaoru touched his pale skin and smiled, rocking on his feet.

Hikaru was proper and tidy, but there was always a huge visual difference, but only the twins noticed it. Kaoru's hair was darker, his eyes were slightly darker, Kaoru's skin was darker. Everything about Kaoru was darker than Hikaru's. The younger had used special shampoo that didn't work, so he used gel in the morning to keep himself tidy and it darkened his hair, and he used a special lotion in the mornings that made his skin darker, and his contacts couldn't hide Kaoru's natural amber eyes.

Now Kaoru moved his hand to the mirror and smiled.

"Good morning," Kaoru whispered, not bothering to hide his female tone. "Yes, good morning."

A sudden volt of energy hit him, and he skipped to his room and put on a sweater and some blue jeans, because he didn't feel like wearing something fancy that day, and he didn't mind that he didn't look like he usually did. Running and almost completely skipping the stairs besides the trip he made when he hit the ground, Kaoru ran outside and began walking calmly, ignoring all the people that passed him.

"Who's that?"

"He's cute."

"Oh wow. Doesn't he look like that Hitachiin kid?"

"I wanna go out with that."

"What makes his skin shine?"

The more words he heard, the more Kaoru ignored him, not because people were stupid, but because he didn't care what they thought. They could praise him and it'd be alright, but he knew that if he let them get to him then eventually a nasty comment would spring up amongst the rest, and Kaoru wasn't about to calm himself down again. He was always calming himself down, keeping everything inside, and this time he thought of snapping.

"Kaoru?" Hikaru asked as Kaoru walked into the Third Music Room in Ouran Academy.

Kaoru stood and stared at Hikaru, and they both burst into tears and embraced eachother.

"Oh Hikaru!" Kaoru whined. "I was so worried without you."

"I'm sorry Kaoru! I won't leave your side again!"

"What do you want?" Tamaki asked. He hadn't been very nice to Kaoru after the little kidnapping and murder scene from a week ago. The whole point of that was to get Kaoru free of charges, but there was a twist to it.

Kaoru didn't know how to use a gun.

He couldn't even load one, much less shoot one with such accuracy, and Kaoru wasn't one to have a mudering attitude.

No, he had some help.

Ootori Kyoya.

"I explained the situation, didn't I?" Kyoya asked when he noticed Tamaki's tension.

"Not to Tama-chan," Hunny answered Kyoya, and Kyoya stared at Hunny and then Tamaki and sighed.

"I'm sorry, listen, Tamaki," Kyoya explained the situation that had occured. "Kaoru didn't want to get in trouble for running away, because he didn't really want to in the first place, rather, he only went because Hikaru was, and he wanted a normal life. I hired my police for a job and they were pretending it all, everything. Of course, some of the police were really there to get Suoh back, and so we had to make it look real to keep them away and not figure out what it was. The negotiator was real, however, so he was able to take care of Kaoru's statement, and now Kaoru's free."

"What's that mean?" Hikaru and Tamaki asked. Apparently Hikaru spaced out during the explanation earlier.

"I don't know how to use a gun," Kaoru shrugged. "The gun wasn't loaded, and other people did all the effects for me."

"You're not a criminal?" Tamaki asked and Kaoru smirked.

"I wouldn't... say that."

"Did you just get up?" Haruhi asked as she stared at Kaoru's ruffled hair and compared him to Hikaru, Hikaru much more suited as a noble with his clean haircut, smooth skin, and school uniform on his body. Kaoru... not so much. Kaoru's hair was ruffled, and his clothing was not the uniform required, and his skin was smooth, but without the usual sheen that it had on normal days where the girls and boys all alike oogled over Kaoru for hours. People still oogled over Kaoru, just not as seriously as they did before.

"Hmm?" Kaoru asked, he had spaced out for a moment.

"Did you just get up? You don't look like you usually do."

"Oh, yeah sure, I just got up," Kaoru replied in a mumble. He wasn't supposed to go to school that day, so his mom hadn't ordered a limo so he had to walk to school if he wanted to go. Kaoru wasn't even sure they'd let him in, after what happened the other day, and his head hurt severely.

"Kaoru, so you aren't evil?" Hikaru asked.

"Evil? No. Killer? Nah, not yet. Psychotic Mastermind Who Turns Everything Into A Game? Yes," Kaoru responded, not looking at anyone. "Damn Good Snitch? Bingo."

Hikaru chuckled, "I was just wondering if Kyoya was making you look good the whole time."

"Funny!" Kaoru snarled.

The young boy blinked, and started crying.

"Kaoru? Are you okay?" Haruhi worried as she quickly scrambled over and sat next to him, her hand on his shoulder. "Kaoru? What's wrong?"

A smile pierced his lips and he turned to look at Haruhi.

"You have a soft hand, I didn't expect you to come running when I started crying," Kaoru cackled.

A blush spread across Haruhi's face and she pushed on Kaoru's shoulder.

"You're just as bad as Hikaru!"

Kaoru and Hikaru laughed and Hikaru scooted over to Kaoru once Haruhi stood up and went over to finish the homework she forgot to do, and she wanted it done before class, because her work was never late. Hikaru teased, "What did her hand feel like?"

"Smooth, girly," Kaoru shrugged. "Something I'd like to marry."

"You're kidding right? Milord would kill you if he heard that!" Hikaru laughed.

Kaoru looked at Hikaru and didn't smile for a moment, but soon he did and he closed his eyes. A shock hit Hikaru and he was wondering why, how come Kaoru was looking at him with sad, or curious eyes for a moment? Of course Kaoru was kidding though! Only Tamaki and Hikaru were the ones with real crushes on Haruhi, Hikaru had just given up because he thought everyone would know Haruhi was a girl and she'd start going out before the twins came back. It hadn't happened yet, and Hikaru's crush was back on, but did Kaoru have feelings as well for the crossdressing girl?

"'Course I'm kidding!" Kaoru laughed.

"How was sleeping without me?"

"Horrible..." Kaoru responded, tears falling down his face. "I missed you so much."

"Oh... Kaoru..." Hikaru cooed, wrapping his arms around Kaoru. "It's okay, big brother's here."

"Hikaru..." Kaoru blushed, still crying.

"You guys are good at that," Kyoya responded. "Are those real tears, Kaoru?"

Kaoru laughed and pulled down on the bottom of his eyelid to reveal the pink exterior beneath before he answered, "One hundred percent real, boss man! I'd never use fake tears, they're no substitute for these babies, I just know how to use them to keep myself out of trouble."

Kyoya chuckled, "Yes, yes, very good. Do you think you and Hikaru could act like that as an act for the club?"

"Of course," They both responded. "Who do you think we are?"

"The annoying brothers," Tamaki snapped as he walked in. "You assaulted your sister!"

"Yes, because crying is an assault," Kaoru scoffed. "Lay off, bro."

Haruhi shrugged and stated, "Well, class will be interesting again, and I won't sit alone or by those crazy fangirls anymore."

"Yes! Haruhi turned into a boy! She cut her hair! DID YOU KNOW?" Tamaki sobbed. "My daughter cut her hair! Now she looks like a son! Turns out she's been this way for the whole school year! I just found out last week! My daughter!"

"Drama Queen," Kaoru huffed and turned back to Hikaru.

Tamaki noticed and he asked, "What is this all about, little brother Kao?"

Kaoru looked back at Tamaki with tears in his eyes and asked, "Did Kao do something wong?"

"N-no, it's just... you're obsessed with him! What about daddy?"

"You're my daddy? I thought you were big brother?"

"I am big brother, but daddy too."

"I have two daddy's?"

"Kao! Stop it! It's irritating when you act like a little boy again!"

"But big brudda says he tinks o' me as a wittle kid, hmm?"

Hikaru was laughing his head off, at the way Tamaki was taking this all in, he was spazzing, confused, and he didn't know how to come back when Kaoru gave him those crying little google eyes.

"Oi, Kaoru, stop, you're confusing him, his brain can't take all that in," Haruhi scolded. "Don't think of him so highly."

"My daughter too?" Tamaki screamed. "These twins have corrupted you! That's why you cut your hair!"

"Yeah, Hikaru got gum stuck in it."

Tamaki was already off into his rant and Kaoru ignored him and turned his full attention back to Hikaru.

"What do you wanna do now?" Kaoru asked, boredom evident in his tone.

"Why should I know?" Hikaru asked annoyed. "You're the one who kicked me out of your bed last night! Did you know you have such strong legs?"

"Only strong enough to keep you in place."

Hikaru's face lit up in a blush.

"W-what's that supposed to mean?"

Kaoru smirked, "Oh, you know."

Tamaki shot back up.

"Mommy! Kao's being perverted with his brother!" Tamaki complained.

"Mom doesn't deal with these things," Kyoya scowled. "That's dad's job."

"My darling son!" Tamaki cried, glomping Kaoru. "You've been corrupted by your horrible older brother!"

"Other way around," The two snapped.

"Hmm?"

"I corrupted Hikaru," Kaoru corrected.

That shocked Tamaki even farther, and he cowered back into his corner, sobbing about how his sons were perverts, and how his daughter was insane and rebellious and that the Mother needed help in realizing his values. Everyone blanked him out after awhile, because this was the same to everyone, minus Kaoru.

Kaoru thought it was interesting.

"When you'd get so girly?" Kaoru wondered.

"When you get to be a murderer?"

"Since the warning bell rang."

"What?"

"The bell just rang, and the second is about to ring in two minutes, that's not a problem for me, Hikaru and I are allowed to be late. You on the other hand? You should be with Kyoya, half way through the school by now."

"Ahh!" Tamaki spazzed as he dashed out the door.

"You are a criminal," Everyone replied as they stared at Kaoru, who just caused Tamaki to dash out of the room. The bell hadn't rung, and it wasn't going to for another twenty minutes. Hunny was with Haruhi and Mori, but he seemed to want to sit on Kaoru's lap. He kept struggling, but Haruhi wasn't going to let her big brother be corrupted by this horrible child that everyone knew as Kaoru. Haruhi knew him as the devil's reincarnate.

"Kao-chan! Kao-chan!" Hunny called as he finally got out of Haruhi's arms and sat on Kaoru's lap. "Can you take care of Bun-bun for me?"

"What ever," Kaoru sighed and took the bunny and stroked it. "It's cute, I'll give it that. Where's the point in it though? Where's it's selling point?"

"It's cuteness, apparently," Kyoya pointed out.

Kaoru grinned a grin that matched up with Kyoya's perfectly, and then it grew to match the one Hikaru just got.

"Ah! It's so cute!" Kaoru complained as he dropped Bun-bun onto Hunny. "It burns my eyes!"

Hunny began to cry.

"Bun-bun's evil, Takashi!" Hunny cried.

Kaoru's fake crying turned into loud laughter that matched Hikaru's when they noticed how Hunny was sobbing and complaining to Mori that his bunny was evil and it need an exorcism because it was possessed by an evil spirit, Kaoru said so.

"Ah, god!" Kaoru squeaked as he fell into Hikaru's lap, holding his stomach. "This is fun!"

"Exactly what it was worth!" Hikaru choked and sobbed along with Kaoru. "Oh wow!"

"Hmm?" Hunny and Haruhi asked as the remaining four heads snapped to stare at the dying twins.

"We came back-" Hikaru started.

"-Because we wanted to have-" Kaoru continued.

"-Some fun!" The two laughed at the same time.

"Oh god! Did you see Milord's face?" Hikaru laughed, clutching his stomach.

Kaoru curled up his knees and pushed on the edge of the couch as his head slid on Hikaru's lap as he pushed.

"Oh my fricking god!" Kaoru choked. "That was rich!"

Soon, the twins reverted to sitting straight and hugging eachother as they choked on their laughs and Hikaru fell on top of Kaoru as Kaoru's strength wavered for a moment, and Hikaru was on top of Kaoru when Tamaki walked back into the room.

"See? See?" Tamaki screamed. "He's attacking my little brother! He's attacking Kao! They're doing perverted things! My sons are doing perverted things!"

Hikaru placed his forehead on Kaoru's chest, and Kaoru squeezed on Hikaru's back as even more laughs bursted from the laughing crazy twins. They looked truly psychotic as they sat there, or rather lay there, and they were freaking out, gasping to catch breath, but they couldn't. Kaoru began crying and he pulled Hikaru closer as their laughs turning into something insane and a teacher walked into the room, after getting complaints of something that sounded like choking and laughs. The teacher raised her eyebrow, and she noticed Tamaki spazzing out to Kyoya and Haruhi shaking her head as Hunny kept complaining that something demonic was wrong with Bun-bun. Second years and seniors resorted to this through the acts of two insane freshman twins. The world had gone mad.

"Oh God! Oh God!" Kaoru cried and Hikaru raised his head, tears pouring from his eyes.

"It hurts!" They both screeched and continued laughing hysterically.

"What's going on here?" The teacher finally asked.

"Those two," Haruhi replied, pointing to the twins, who were dying on that exact same pink and fluffy couch.

"Do you enjoy making seniors and juniors act like this?" The teacher asked in a scolding tongue, and Hikaru almost controlled himself, but Kaoru's legs raised and bent as his face contorted and he continued laughing. "Well? Do you?"

"YYYEEESS!" Kaoru finally gasped as he fell off the couch, himself on top of Hikaru this time. "This is great!"

The teacher suddenly took a face of fear when she recognized the boy on top of Hikaru as the psychopath from the day previous where he had almost "killed" two to three police officers, a negotiater, and the heir to the Suoh clan, whose father also ran that school.

"Oh god!" Kaoru cried. "This is just like last year!"

"Last year?" Tamaki and Hikaru dared ask.

"Y-yes!" Kaoru sobbed, his muscles going through spasms and himself going through fits of laughter. "Those idiots thought I was girl and- and-!"

Kaoru never did finish that statement as he began spazzing and he rolled over off of Hikaru and held his stomach as he curled on the floor and laughed his guys out, he laughed so much, everyone was afraid he wasn't going to get any air and he was going to die on that floor. No one wanted to responsible for murdering a teenager, because it wasn't their fault, Kaoru was the one who caused them to do the stupid things that caused him to laugh hysterically like a psychopath.

The teacher took Kaoru to the nurses office once the warning bell rang everyone went off to their classrooms, but Hikaru didn't go to class but instead with the teacher, and after seeing Kaoru in his laughing fit for so long, it struck Hikaru as hilarious and he started laughing himself as Kaoru hit the bathroom door from laughing too hard.

"What's wrong?" The nurse asked as the boys came in, the teacher dragging them.

"They're having laughing fits, keep them here until they calm down. They've been like for almost half an hour now."

"What made you laugh?" The nurse asked once the teacher left.

"IDIOTS!" Kaoru screeched. "Idiots and their idiocy!"

Every comment, every word, they all struck Hikaru and Kaoru as hilarious and funny, and the two leaned onto eachother, laughing their guts out.

"It hurts!" Kaoru cried.

"Know I!" Hikaru messed up his sentence, causing Kaoru to kick his legs and the two fell onto the floor, rolling in their laughing fit.

"Ahhck," Kaoru spazzed. "Ahhhh."

The two rolled on the floor, constantly toppling onto eachother, and finally, they stopped laughing when their lips collided from stumbling to get up. Kaoru didn't do anything, he just blinked and stared at his mirror image who was doing nothing but that, staring and blinking, waiting for the others reaction. Both breathed through their nose, afraid to wreck the balance that they had just created by being nothing other than psychotic and out of control. Kaoru didn't want to move his lips, and neither did Hikaru, both wanted to remain like that, their legs entwined, their hands entwined, their lips entwined, their whole body just melting together.

"You two stopped laughing? I think you two can go back to class," Came the nurses voice as she walked out of the office and Kaoru pushed Hikaru away from him.

"Yeah, guess we just needed a while," Kaoru replied, faking a smile.

The two had missed all of first hour and now walked into first hour and took their seat next to Haruhi, everyone stared at Kaoru, and completely seemed to ignore Hikaru, since Kaoru was the interesting one, Kaoru was the psychotic one. Of course, Kaoru was also the one that didn't care, and he just sat there, accepting all the stares he was given as the reality of how stupid normal people really were, and he was suddenly extremely happy he wasn't one of them.

Everything rushed at Kaoru in a form of hormones.

Kaoru was in a life or death situation, brought upon by none other than him himself by manipulating his adopted father. Kaoru was also in a risky situation because the police could arrest Hikaru and Kaoru at any moment for loving eachother since they were relatives, which was why Kaoru and Hikaru prayed that they weren't related. Incest was looked down on even more than homosexuality, and homosexuality was something everyone groaned and complained over, so if incest was even worse than that, then Kaoru and Hikaru would be in huge trouble if it was ever found out what they did when they were alone.

It was... all a game to Kaoru.

School was always a torture, and he tried to laugh over everything that happened, which was what suddenly found him in a laughing fit, when he remembered what happened to him the year previous. It wasn't even funny. It was humiliating, it was wrong, it was something that scarred him, yet it made him laugh like a maniac in that situation instead of making him sober.

"Tell us the story!" The Host Club begged Kaoru, the customers hadn't arrived yet. "About last year when someone thought you were a girl!"

Kaoru blushed and he didn't think about talking about it.

"No," Kaoru whispered. "I don't know why I thought it was funny earlier, it was nothing."

With that, Kaoru left them all and sat in a chair in a corner, staring out the window.

"Ma?" Kaoru whispered to no one. "Is okay if I tell them the story? You saw it happen, right? So you know the context, so you should know if it's alright to speak of or not."

"Kaoru?" Hikaru's voice came. "Are you talking to yourself?"

"Yeah, because I do it a lot," Kaoru hissed.

Hikaru pulled a chair next to him so they created a triangle, the sides were Hikaru, Kaoru, and the window. Their backs were turned on the rest of the club.

"Tell me the story?" Hikaru asked.

Kaoru's stomach churned, but he found himself nodding.

"I was in public commoner schools no matter where I went. So, I got bullied a lot, and everyone thought I was girl from the way I looked, and I never took gym class so no one was sure what I was, a guy or a girl. I have those scarrs, you know? So I hated to take my shirt off, well, some guys thought it'd be fun to take my shirt off infront of everyone at school, determind I was a girl, and they all saw it."

Kaoru's voice went low.

"They all saw those scarrs on my arms, and on my body, and everyone thought I was a cutter, so they reported me to the nurse's office, and the nurse thought they were my own doing as well, so I got sent to the psychward and got a therapist. That was when they figured out it was from abuse, and then I got a new family, and... the same scenario, only not in public," Kaoru continued, and his voice going even lower as the customers arrived and stared at them oddly. "I wouldn't let them take my shirt off, and my dad... he... that man, he got out of jail again... and they were trying to take my pants off, determined I was a girl and..."

Kaoru choked.

"What?" Hikaru asked.

"They died."

"And that's funny?" Hikaru asked, raising his voice angrily.

"I said it wasn't! I just said that-"

"That's not funny, Kaoru!"

"I know but-"

"But what?"

"Would you let me talk?" Kaoru shouted.

Hikaru wasn't listening, he'd stormed out of the room and Kaoru cussed and jumped over the chairs and dashed out of the room after Hikaru.

"I SAID I DIDN'T KNOW WHY I LAUGHED AT IT!" Kaoru screamed at Hikaru as he ran after him.

Since Hikaru was running away from Kaoru and Kaoru wasn't far from him, Kaoru wasn't paying attention to their surroundings, and he missed the corner Hikaru took and he crashed into the window and landed on the ground, two or three stories below, Kaoru didn't know how far, all he knew was there was an immense pain in his head and legs, and everything was in odd colors. Water looked red, and the grass looked blue.

"Crap, I cut off my color coordination, I'm color blind," Kaoru cussed as he tried to get up, but his legs gave out and he struggled to move, he pulled himself along the ground with his arms. "I should've stayed home today."

"Kaoru!" Hikaru shouted from atop the window. "Are you okay?"

"I thought you thought I was crazy?" Kaoru shouted. Even in this state, he was bitter.

Only, Hikaru didn't get Kaoru's retort, he was already dashing down the front steps and was with Kaoru in an instant, and he picked Kaoru up, and walked to the limo out front, apparently it was there all the time after school because Yuzashima wanted Kaoru home immediately once she found out that he left. The Club already knew neither was coming back to finish the clubs activities, and the twins sat in the back of the limo, and Hikaru stroked Kaoru's face and kept saying how sorry he was that this had happened.

Kaoru blinked.

"You do realize, I could accept that as your fault?" He asked, his voice bitter.

"Do you think it was?"

"Yes... yes, I do," Kaoru confirmed, refusing to look at Hikaru.

"Look, I'm sorry Kaoru!" Hikaru huffed. "Why can't you forgive me?"

"You ran away," Kaoru whispered. "You didn't give me time to explain..."

Kaoru leaned forward and rested his head on the seat infront of him and stared out the window, blanking all that Hikaru said.

_Maybe I am a horrible person._


	14. Forgive

**A/N: Haha, apparently this is severely angsty, no? I just thought it was funny that when I was reading reviews for one of my favorite stories, I found a refference to my story.  
I would also like to say that this is probably my shortest chapter for this story so far. I did it because... I dunno, it made the chapter a chapter.**

* * *

"You sure you're okay?" Hikaru asked. 

The two were up in the middle of the night, Kaoru had just come back into his room after throwing up for about five minutes. Hikaru had stayed over since Kaoru's parents figured it'd be good for Kaoru after him accidentally jumping out the window.

Kaoru nodded.

"It took you a long time," Hikaru continued worridly.

"Mmhmm," Kaoru nodded again.

Kaoru hadn't spoken to Hikaru once they got back to Kaoru's house, the boy just seemed to function, nothing else seemed to matter to him.

"You sure you're not sick?"

"Mmhmm, positive Hikaru."

It worried Hikaru, that Kaoru would just nod and confirm everything said, or shake his head and disagree with simple little words. No matter how it worked, Kaoru wouldn't speak in full sentences longer than a few words. It was starting to bug Hikaru horribly, and he just wanted to hug the little red head and force all of his thoughts out of him, because for some reason, Hikaru couldn't read what was going on in Kaoru's head.

"You like Haruhi?" Kaoru finally spoke.

"Huh? Why?" Hikaru worried.

"Oh, no reason."

"I guess so, I mean..."

How could Hikaru even think of lying to Kaoru?

"Yeah, I like her," Admitted Hikaru.

"Thought so."

Again, Kaoru's eyes averted Hikaru's, and the elder couldn't tell what was going on, was Kaoru upset because Hikaru liked Haruhi? Or was Kaoru still suffering from slamming on the ground? Luckily Kaoru hadn't broken anything, but his head didn't hit the ground, rather, his whole body just lunged at the ground and the only thing that wasn't hurt was Kaoru's skull. His left wrist was sprained, and there was some glass lodged into Kaoru's hand which he had to get removed the next day, because it wouldn't come out, it was lodged into the bone, but Kaoru never complained, not once. No cries, no shrieks, nothing. He was just silent.

His stomach churned again.

"I gotta go," Kaoru explained briefly as he dashed out of the room and back into the bathroom, where he threw up again. It was weird, that Kaoru was throwing up instead of having huge mental problems, but Kaoru could think fine.

Everything calculated correctly.

Hikaru liked Haruhi.

Haruhi liked Hikaru and Tamaki.

Hikaru was supposed to like Kaoru.

It all hurt so badly to think about, that Kaoru thought about running away again, since he was so good at it, after all. Just steal a few hotel rooms, go into a homeless shelter, live with Mabel and Blossom, everything would work out fine. Pain rushed over Kaoru again and he threw up again, but there something wrong with him, because he hadn't eaten anything since lunch, so at first it was food, but now it was just all blood, but Kaoru refused to tell Hikaru was going on.

Hikaru was a traitor, and Kaoru didn't talk to traitors.

"He said he wouldn't hurt me," Kaoru whispered. "He said he only loved me."

A bit more blood reached Kaoru's lips and it fell down into the toilet, and Kaoru didn't know what he was doing anymore. He should've went and told his mom and dad, told Hikaru, complained that he thought he might be bleeding in his stomach, maybe some glass cut his mouth. Only, he didn't do anything. Just stared into the water that had turned red, and something new came over him, and he began to cry. His stomach hurt so much, he threw up again, but he didn't make it to the toilet that time, he was curled up on the floor infront of the toilet, and the blood was now on his clothes and seeping onto the tile.

"Kaoru," Came a familiar voice, a voice Kaoru wanted to block out for the rest of his life. "You're bleeding."

"I didn't notice," Kaoru snarled, hiding his face and he sobbed a bit deeper. "It's all your fault, you said you'd be there, that'd I'd never get hurt when you were around."

"It wasn't my fault."

"Yes it was..."

His knees came closer to his chest as his sobs deepened, and he thought of running away again, away from all of them. That thought just kept popping in and out of his mind all night long. Arms wrapped around Kaoru and the boy felt himself lunged into a warm embrace, his head resting on Hikaru's chest.

"I'm sorry," Hikaru whispered.

Kaoru couldn't keep this game up, not anymore, not now. Hikaru was the only person who could break him, who could put him back together, and he felt himself wrapping his arms around the older boy and gripping his shirt and pulling on him, tears flowing heavily out of his eyes, despite the protest he gave himself. The young boy was in too much pain to think about games, for that would be insanity, and finally, Kaoru admitted it.

"I lost," Kaoru whispered.

"Hmm?"

"This is the first time... I've ever lost anything," Kaoru whispered.

"What are you ranting about now?" Hikaru hissed as he pulled away enough to look at Kaoru's face, and when he did, he couldn't help but think that Kaoru looked like a vampire, what with his pale face and blood dripping from his mouth.

"I give up," Kaoru admitted. "I can't keep this up."

Hikaru cocked his head and he felt the red head against his chest again, and he wrapped his arms around Kaoru and Hikaru sighed, for he knew Kaoru had to go to the hospital because of him hitting the ground that fast. It was all still playing through Kaoru's head. Chasing Hikaru, wanting to cry, and then suddenly, pain. Everything was pain and his body moved on it's own, and then collision. That's all Kaoru remembered. Gravity had once again taken Kaoru down the ground, and he longed to get away from this world, so that he could be alone, but he didn't want to be all alone, there was someone he wanted with him, and that someone shared his blood. In that blood he was coughing up, was the same DNA that Hikaru had.

"We're not identical," Hikaru whispered. "No matter what they say."

"We are!" Kaoru sobbed. "I used to try so hard! I want to be just like you!"

"You do?"

"Of course, I want to be like you, you're my big brother, I look up to you."

"No, you shouldn't look up to me, I'm a horrible person," Hikaru whispered. "It's all my fault, it's all my fault that you got hurt, it was my fault that you broke through that window, this is all my fault. It's my fault you're hurting, it's my fault you're bleeding. All of it..."

How could Kaoru say it?

"It was part of our game," Kaoru whispered. "I deserved that."

"What was?"

"Other people," Kaoru refused to look Hikaru in the eye. "It was my fault they died, because it was part of our game."

"W-what?" Hikaru tried to get Kaoru to look him in the face. "You're saying it was technically like you killed them?"

Reluctantly, Kaoru nodded.

"Like that," Kaoru confirmed.

The elder brother held his breath, and shook his head and brought his lips to Kaoru's burning forehead.

"You hate me now, right?" Kaoru asked, crying again.

"No, I love you all the same."

"What?"

"I love you, Kaoru. Don't be so stupid."

He began to close his eyes at the sound of the older boy's voice. It was soothing, and it made Kaoru forget about the blood he had been coughing up, throwing up, and it made him forget falling out the window, and all Kaoru noticed was Hikaru's arms. Those lips, everything, all that existed now was Hikaru. The very being that was his older brother, but he couldn't be _his _older brother, for Hikaru was too majestic, too wonderful. It was hard to believe that anything that handsome and beautiful could be anywhere related to _him._

Kaoru was a reject in a family of angels.

Tamaki was heavenly.

Hikaru was the greatest angel.

"We could go to jail," Kaoru whispered.

"So? Let us."

"Hikaru..."

"I don't care what they think. If they want to lock us up for acting the way we do, then fine. They can lock us up, but it won't change the fact that I love you. It'll never change the fact that I love you, nothing can ever change that," Hikaru scolded. "Just don't let them see us, and we'll always be okay."

"_Them?_"

"Them, the people from the outside world..."

Kaoru closed his eyes and started to drift off to sleep.

"Hikaru?" Kaoru asked.

"What is it, Kaoru?"

"Do you like Haruhi?"

"Do you?"

"...maybe, but do you?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry Kaoru, but I do."

The boy's stomach churned and he threw up a little bit more blood and suddenly, he wished Hikaru'd lied to him and said that he didn't like Haruhi.

"O-okay."


	15. Important

**IMPORTANT**

****

** My computer broke down and everything, so I'm really sorry and I'll update all my stories when I get back.  
Don't get mad at this post because I promise that it'll be replaced by the next chapter. Just hold on tight please! I'm sorry if this is against the rules, but it's odd to see someone who updated so much suddenly just stop, and I wanted to explain why it's like this. I'm sorry again and I will update the moment I get my computer fixed.**

**I'm on my Aunt's at the moment, but she's leaving now, so I won't be updating at all until I get my computer back unless something miraculous happens. Again, I apologize about this update right here, it's probably not what anyone was expecting, was it?**

**RizaMustang24**


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